Spiritus Mundi

The one about the destination and (thankfully) not the journey

2011-08-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write this for a while. About summer and summer vacations, as I watched my friends and co-workers, take off for their annual retreats. Somehow, I cannot come to associate july or august with summer.For me, summer, will always be those two glorious months - April & May- the mischievous siblings and of lazing out in the sun, of feeling your skin turn brown and crispy, of guarding grandma's rice crispies, drying in the sun, from crows while reading comics, of improvising ice candies from frozen rasna and yes, of a big ol family vacation to the nether region of the country.

That's the beauty of hindsight I guess, that you can reminisce about family vacations with fondness, sitting under a quilt, half way across the world. When in reality, our summer vacation plans always managed strike a deep fear in my heart, primarily due to the machinations of my mother,who was the chief architect of all our vacations and ofcourse, her ole faithful the government of India.

I can't confirm for sure, but I think my mother developed a deep, unabiding wanderlust after she went on a sabbatical to europe when I was 6 years old and visited about a dozen countries. After that she was never quite the same and every summer, something deep within her soul rebelled and we found ourselves on a "vacation" in the boondocks of the country. Her vacation rumination usually began in March, usually when we would watch the 9PM news as a family and some news article like a terror attack in Kashmir or workers strike in west bengal would trigger her wanderlust and she would announce to all of us at the dinner table that our vacation that year would be to Jammu or Darjeeling. My brother and I would look at each other and then look at the food on the plate and seriously consider the probability of death by choking because anything was preferable to my mother's idea of a vacation.

See my parents were both government employees and the government of India has this policy of reimbursing travel for vacation for its dear minions and the said minions rightfully abused this policy to the hilt, choosing the farthest possible spot on the map. And so, even though we could not afford to travel to the far corners of the country ordinarily, the government of India, aided my mother's plans like a faithful but stupid accomplice. Yes the tax payers of this fine nation were funding the trip but who cares about the tax payer, fuck 'em! So she would proceed to book train tickets to places like Sikkim (1200 KM away), which entailed travelling by train for 3 days and eating train food for 3 days and then rightfully puking the train food for 3 days. I still haven't forgiven the kitchen at Behrampur station in Orissa, for making me puke for 4 hours after eating the food cooked there.I even remember, standing over the vibrating aluminium sink in the compartment and praying to god for all this to end. Deliver me from vacations instead of evil. So you can understand why my brother and I were about as thrilled as a bunch of hostages in a bank heist as far as my mother's vacation plans were concerned.

The government reimbursement policy was valid only once every two years so in the intervening years my mother would plan outrageous road trips because, get this, the Gov of India would also reimburse fuel costs! So into the hinterlands we went, in our car, a spritely Premier Padmini, my brother and I in the back seat and my mom collecting obscure plant samples on the way to assuage her botanist soul. We once went to this place called Bharvati, in interior Karnataka where I was promised a most splendid waterfall. We travelled for two days, 8 hours everyday, where my brother and I decided to play 20 questions to kill time. Long story short he always chose some obscure cricketer and I chose some obscure african dictator and we both accused each other of cheating and my mother shushed us and put some of her obcure plant specimens in between to keep us from killing each other.There is nothing worse than sitting next to your arch nemesis and being powerless to do anything because of the intervening, annoying fronds of an ugly plant. And when we reached Bhadravati all grumpy, the waterfall turned out to be a piddly little sprinkle. Yes, road trips were as fun as a beach trip to hell.

But even if the journeys themselves sucked and I almost died (inevitably due to throwing up regularly) she did take us to magnificent places in the country. Places you would never believe could ever exist or Places so different that it didn't seem like it belonged to the Indian polity. I remember visiting an ancient 9th century Buddhist Monastery in Sikkim when I was 9 years old and feeling like my world had been turned upside down. Seeing the monks, watching Buddhism at work, it seemed so removed from the conventional India. The India that was familiar to me. Seeing the mighty Himalayas was another such experience as well. The Himalayas looked so bad ass that they seemed to say "Fuck you guys, we're here to stay." The Himalayas are majestic yes but don't believe anyone who calls them serene. That's bull. The Himalayas to me always seemed to me like a bunch of bad ass motor cyclists who invaded town and for some reason decided to stay.They could be mean if they wanted to but decided not to. But they still evoked stifled awe and fear at their bad assery.

Another unforgettable moment was when I was on an abandoned island in the Andaman & Nicobar archipelago (Yes, again a gift from Government of India). I remember walking up the stairs of an old church that was crumbling and had Ivy running all around it. When I reached the top, I saw a deer at the altar, with crumbling stained glass and a peek of the azure waters, for a background. It still is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen and I was utterly spellbound! I blinked for a second and it was gone. No it wasn't an apparition but some idiot tourist had also sneaked up behind me and had decided to take a photo, all flashes blazing. I hate moronic tourists! Of course the deer ran away, and it occurred to me that you know you're on an island when the animals behave better than the humans.

The moronicity of tourists is something I could rant about for ages. We were once on a safari in a forest in southern India and we chanced upon a Lady Elephant shepherding her baby calf. Promptly all the tourists in the Jeep got out their long telescopic lenses and started clicking photos in a mad frenzy, so much so that she started chasing our jeep in anger. And what did the adults do? they continued to click pictures!! Would you really want to incite a female elephant who looked like she had just gotten off a bad date with a poacher the previous night? But I digress..

All those road trips and train journeys were nothing short of epic. It made us the individuals -my brother and I - we are today. We changed on a fundamental thanks to those trips. We became fascinated with cultures and people different from us, we learned to revel and partake in realities that were different from our conventional lives. We learned to respect difference of opinions and to treat divergent cultures with deference.That's why we both are the travel junkie nomads that we are, making a life for ourselves in distant lands. Most of all, what it showed was how beautiful our country was and how fortunate we were to see all shades of it - the beaches, islands, mountains and desert. That in itself was priceless.

Stuff!

2011-08-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

The laundry list of "stuff" that's keeping me busy, not that anybody cares even though I'd like to envision my reader as awaiting updates with bated breadthand sitting on pins! Hey I can dream right?

1. First, got my hair straightened over the weekend.My stylist, correction, my soulmate stylist (every woman should have one, THE ONE and the ONLY ONE that GETS you and more importantly YOUR HAIR! more important to have than a spouse or boyfriend. Trust me!), err well, moving on, she suggested that I do a brazilian keratin treatment, and so without a second thought, I said sure, why not? Gosh, I can be so trusting sometimes. So she literally dabbed every strand of my hair with some concoction containing formaldehyde (!!!) and lo, behold, it is straight now! well almost..But oddly enough, this whole process made me reminisce about my childhood and growing up with curly hair. My mother or grandma would spend the sunday oiling my hair and in the process get to know what I'm upto. We bonded over hair and now here I am, more than 10 years later, not oiling my hair but putting some chemical through it. Made me a tad sad.

2. The search for the perfect bookcase is ruling my life right now. I ordered my bed, my dresser,my couch and my dining table in less than 20 mins but I took 3 days to search for the perfect bookshelf. Tells you a lot about me and my priorities no? I just couldn't find any that was worthy of my books. As a kid, I dreamed about living in an apt whose walls were adorned with books and beautiful book cases so this thing is very very important to me. Complicating matters a whole lot is that a lot of these needed to be assembled and I'm about as handy with a hammer as my finance professor was with stand up comedy. He wasn't. There are things that one should just NOT dabble in. So I finally lost patience and ordered one online. Fingers crossed, it will arrive soon and toes crossed, I'll be able to assemble it properly. Actually, I'll need more body parts crossed to accomplish the last one methinks.

3. So as things turned out, I used my signing bonus to sign up for a gym and trainer. Most women buy a prada or hermes bag but me? No, ma'am, I opt for pain and suffering. Again, more hint there on my wonderful clusterf**k of a personality. Actually, I'm really liking my training sessions. Although, I'm getting killed in every session because of all the workouts and yes I do go into the ladies room afterwards and sit on the toilet seat and cry for being a wuzzy BUT BUT, I feel much much stronger. Atleast I think I am and my trainer is awesome! as in, he gives me free relationship advice when I'm doing 3 sets of push ups. That's exactly the kind of thing you need to distract yourself from physical pain - relationships & dating woes. I lovee my gym too! its beeeautiful, very zen like and they have massive studios for dance and yoga classes and even a pool!! Best of all, no annoying kids running around or having to deal with cloying, closet-bullimic undergrads (aka The wilson gym @ Duke) only hot looking, broad shouldered men doing pushups. Sign me up baby! she said. And oh, they also had eucalyptus scented towels..after all, when it comes to gyms isn't that the top criteria? Hot men and Comforting Towels? losing weight is a lost cause anyway!

4. Another big to-do these days is meeting my friends and hoping they've not forgotten me after being away from Chicago for a month. For a whole month!! I helped a friend move into her apartment at evanston and also managed to have a wonderfully contentious argument with another friend over some really delicious ethiopian dinner. Aah I love my erudite friends, I feel smart just being around them. The biggest reason I miss school is not waking up everyday and going into class and being challenged to think differently. But thanks to hanging with my smart friends and co-workers, that intellectual vaccuum is rapidly ebbing. Oh I must say, that working in a tech company and talking geek feels awesome!! I even wear my tweety bird T-shirt, which says "Full of Geek," proudly to work! that's how much of a nerd I am!

So things have been rather eventful. Summer in Chicago is salubrious.Hope the weather and the Karmic Universe holds up. It would be awful if rain (or snow, chicago remember?) did stop play.

The Book Gobbler's Delish List

2011-08-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

Just listing a bunch of books I've managed to read this year. Hoping to update this as I finish reading books. I don't get much free time, what with work starting and all, but I hope my reading list continues to burgeon and that at the end of the year, I can look at it and say, "That was not bad at all."

The Lost Continent - Bill Bryson
Help! - Kathryn Stockett
Liar's Poker - Michael Lewis (currently reading)
Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain
Around the world in 80 days - Jules Verne
Treasure Island - Robert L Stevenson
Adventures of Sherlock Homes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Dreams from my father - Barack Obama
The partly cloudy patriot - Sarah Vowell
We need to talk about kevin - Lionel Shriver
Blue shoes & happiness (from the series, "The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency") - Alexander McCall Smith
Siva Purana - Ramesh Menon

Streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent

2011-07-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Everytime I read the opening lines of the "Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", the greatest poem ever written, I think of Cities. Nay dream of cities. I'm transported by my imagination to those half deserted streets and muttering retreats. It is like I know exactly what T.S Eliot was talking about. See, I love cities. Absolutely adore them. Everything about them infact the streets, the people, the energy and even their dark underbelly. Really. So much that my transient nightmare is to wakeup and find myself in a idyllic suburb, driving a momsmobile.

Cities behold so much promise, so much possibility - kind of like the beginning of a new relationship. You don't know how it will turn out, but the initial promise, the latent potential is intoxicating. Oh do not ask, "What is it?" Let us go and make our visit. Whenever I land in a new city, I can't wait to get my hands on the map of the city and start scoping my days. Unlike most people, I don't go around with a guide book, I simply wing it. I talk to locals, get the inside scoop on where to go, where to eat and what to see. It's not the most efficient, but instead of following a book to the T, I let the place define my experience. That is how I've found places that make the best Sangria or coconut ice cream or caipirinha and when I do find these hidden jewels, I have all the pride and self-congratulatory flush of an explorer, of finding that which was not known to me. Oh so much fun!

Every city is different obviously, but I do have my favourites. Cities that I leave with a sign and make loud avowals of being back..in the near future. I always tend to look for a job or a possibility of a job in a city that I've love and adore, immediately after returning from the trip. I remember loving Amsterdam so much that I even looked at the possibility of taking dutch classes at school.

My first memory of how fabulous cities can be is when I visited Sydney on my first international trip. My brother, thrust a book of all the city streets and asked me to navigate! and there we went, driving through madly, past the street names and intersection and me trying to navigate and ogle at the beautiful city in wonder. It was a dreadful experience in the sense that we got lost several times, till a friendly toll booth operator pointed us in the right direction. But oh Sydney, with its darling harbour, teeming with restaurants and the beautiful opera house, gracing the shores, swan-like, more than made up for all of it. I'll always remember the people, how kind, friendly and boisterous they were.

Then there is Brussels. I was extremely sick when I visited Brussels but was determined as hell to go wandering about the city. I wanted to explore it at all costs. So I bundled up and made my way to Nord station, where I'll always remember asking for almond croissant and coffee in French. It is what I did everyday, go to Nord station, have my mini breakfast and then watch the huge board with train times and names, flipping wildy. That board mesmerized me. It promised untold adventure and mystery, if only I picked the right train. Brussels has other memory like dancing the night off in a cuban club and me blowing kisses at the pony tailed bar tender. Pony Tails are so HOT!

Amsterdam will always be etched in my memory as FUN! It was my best friend's and mine grand adventure. The kind we dreamed of as 12 year olds in prim uniforms. Of partaking in the art, the gorgeous scenary with idyllic canals and of course *ahem* other "risks." It was epic not only interms of passe stuff like clubbing but it rocked interms of food, arts and ofcourse the beauty of the city itself. Its convoluted 16th century, cobbled stone back alleys, its canals and its air of being a medieval port city. I can't quite explain the vibe of amsterdam to you without doing it gross injustice. It was a city that accomodated several worlds - the blithe and the serious, the debauched and the prim, the insouciant cigarette smokers and the suited investment bankers. It was a city that always managed to surprise you with its many facets.

I'm trying to convey what Rio De Janeiro means to me but I can't. It will always be a feeling. A feeling of feeling free and without inhibition. A feeling of being in a beautiful, scenic city with breadth taking views. A physical feeling of dancing, of dancing with joy and the gut wrenching feeling of walking in the Favelas with their murals and Ak-47 toting gangsters. Rio will always be a feeling, a pulse and a cluster of memories - beaches, stumbling about the streets in a drunken haze, copious amounts of acai berry, tropical forests and ofcourse jumping of a cliff, hand-gliding over the city like a bird.

Then there will always be Mumbai. The city that started my love affair with the urban madness. Visiting frenetic Mumbai, from sleepy, carefree Bangalore was always a treat for me. It's like the city kicked in me a strange adrenaline rush. It made me purposeful and purged any trace of lackadaisical behaviour. It made me want to move. To go. Do something. To walk (with long strides). One of my favourite things to do is to walk all day in the town side of Mumbai - past colaba causeway, past all the old colonial buildings and the maritime museum. And even in all my wanderings, the industriousness never left me. This city made me want to be something, it stoked a fire and thats why it is so special and close to my heart.

I will always be a city girl. I love walking past street lights and intersections from one end to another. It energizes me and ignites a visceral feeling within me. I can't explain it, I don't think I'll ever fully understand my love for cities but I can't wait to explore other cities like Istanbul, London, Tokyo or even cape town.

Yes, fie on you suburbs

do they speak english in what?

2011-07-18T22:41:00.000-07:00

take me you happy shiney people,

as I watch you shimmer from a distance,

you all, with your drinks and fancy conversation,

you all, with your bluster and loud laughs,

Your universe looks perfect,

It even has an outline of glitter.

Do you notice me at all?

Can I be embraced by your cocoon of familiarity?

but don't feel bad for me,

I'm occupied too, amused infact,

as I watch you, fascinated...

What I Learned in B-school

2011-07-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine, who is just about to enter B-school and I was dishing out advice by the droves. Then it hit me. Such gold quality insight needs to be documented not only to act as a symbolic ode to the entire experience but to also serve as a cautionary tale. Really, take your pick, what ever floats your boat.

What does a transformational experience consist of? Is this what Dickens was referring to when he said that it was the best of times and the worst of times? Can you distill the essence of a gigantic shift in perception and put it in bullet point format? After all, isn't the bullet point format one of the biggest learnings in B-school?

Be warned though, this post is not your back-of-the-proverbial-envelope-ROI-analysis on B-school, this post is reflection on how I acquired some life-changing skills in B-school, the enduration of mind numbing academic jargon and how I lived to tell the tale. Here it goes in bullet point format (obviously!):

What I learned in B-school

1. The importance of Night Mode setting of my camera, heck any camera settings at all:

For you see its impossible to go through B-school without documenting it on FB and adding pictures for proof. That's the first thing you learn - the night mode settings of your camera- at the first B-school party. Next you learn how to pose for said pictures. Honestly, I've learned my "photogenic" angles and the right amount of teeth that one should ideally show. I was actually camera shy before I came to B-school and now I've become extremely comfortable posing for pics. This is has undoubtedly enriched my future facebook pictures and how could anyone put a price on that?

2. The importance of beer pong, flipcup and *insert any drinking game here*:

Not having done undergrad here in the US I wanted an opportunity to get a sneak peek through my B-school experience. What they didn't tell me was B-school was undergrad times 2 if you wanted it to be. Thanks to this second coming, I learned beer pong and flip cup and tons of other drinking games. Now, I have a genuine drinking game mishap story that makes me a legit grad student and gives me a sort of "street cred" that is very important in connecting with other grad students. booyeah!

3. The importance of being a .ppt or .xlsm ninja:

I have learned that with the right presentation or excel skills, you can go from Captain Obvious to Captain Genius! I kid you NOT. I have sat through numerous presentations where the facts were plain as daylight but because of the wizardry of the presentation or excel sheet, got transformed into "critical insight." I even gave one such presentation a standing ovation myself. How can one NOT be swayed by flying boxes and arrows or pastel coloured, harmony inducing pie-charts?? you have to be positively soulless for that!

4. The importance of having a .ppt or.xlsm ninja in your team if you are not one yourself:

You have no idea what a boon it is to have a .ppt or .xlsm ninja in your team do you? Not only does it mean better grades, it also means that you don't have to spend arduous hours trying to come with half decent slides or models and honestly, deep down you know the team is going to end up using the ninja's slides or models anyway! what you do learn however is to play to to your

strengths. While you're effusive in your praise for your teammate's skills and encourage him to spend the night finishing that ppt or assignment, you can get back to honing your own skills in playing angry birds. Hey man, if that's not a simulation of a life and death situation, I don't know what is!

5. The importance of NOT having a .ppt or .xlsm ninja in your team if you are not one yourself:

This ofcourse means that you are terribly F@&*ed. The meetings are long and contentious,

everybody thinks they are the expert, the white board is filled with drawings and bullet points and you're no closer to the answer than when you started 13 hours ago. The worst is when teams with ninjas, walk by your team room and tell you that they finished the meeting for the case in 60 secs. The best thing to do if you're ever in such a situation, is to have a big list of funny youtube videos to cut the tension. Atleast your team will call you a "fascilitator" or "harmonizer" and let you off the hook when it its time to grade each other.

6. The importance of prayer when you're getting assigned to teams:

See bullets 4 & 5 to fully comprehend this point and yes, while praying, specifically ask for .ppt or .xlsm ninja. I'm serious!

7. The importance of following American sports:

I cannot stress this enough! This will come back to you when you're in that dreaded circle, surrounding a recruiter, trying desperately to land a job. When everyone is talking NFL or college basketball stats, you looking clueless and feeling like you landed in the planet of "What the hell are they talking about??" will NOT help you get a job. You should do what I did and get an american classmate to explain the rules of football (not soccer), basketball or even lacrosse. And then when everybody is talking about Tom Brady, you will not get the urge to ask "Who is this Tom Brady guy? is he a sports dude or something?"

8. The importance of "Depends..":

Yes, "depends.." gets a lot of flack and a lot of b-school students themselves deride this term but for me there is no greater colloquial term that celebrates the state of ambiguity as much. It connotes that, while you have no clue or opinion on the question being asked, you're also willing to say whatever it takes to get on the favourable side of the person asking the question. This

type of ambidextrous approach actually makes you sound erudite! don't ever under estimate the power of "depends." I did and look what happened in my internship, where they asked me if they should invest in a product or not, and instead of invoking this powerful ass-saver, I actually gave them my opinion and did not get the job.

9. The importance of free food in (literally) enriching your B-school experience:

As a starved B-school student, I admit to unintentionally attending lectures run by obscure clubs simply because of the free salad, pizza or burrito on offer. This is exactly how I became interested in the Net impact club and social entrepreneurship. Say what you will about the net impact club but they sure do have the classiest, freshest free food for all their events.

10 The importance of theme parties:

Before coming to the US, I solemnly swear that I had never ever been to a theme party. It was only after attending my first theme party - the 80s party, that I realized the social importance of dressing up in a weird costume and its correlation to making friends. Apparently, the more absurdly you dressed, the more friends you made or rather the more interesting you became to people. Case in point my second Halloween party. For this one, I truly embraced the ethos of

Halloween and dressed up as "Salad Dressing" - in a slinky black dress with vegetable cut-outs. I actually got asked out on a date at the party. SCORE!

11. The importance of having a high alcohol tolerance:

B-school literally is one big party with classes as interludes. True. This fact alone accounts for why other grad students don't really consider us to be truly grad students. We have smart phones, drive expensive cars, live in upscale apartments and drink copious amounts of alcohol. No tales of spending 4 sleepless nights in the library, just stories of cranberry vodka and lady gaga on repeat. Its very hard to not give in to the peer pressure and not party and drink. In term 4 of the last year, afternoon drinking and golfing became the norm, which accounts for why I got hit by golf balls when I ran on the trail surrounding the golf course.

and lastly,

12. The importance of owning a PC:

Yes, this is a shameless plug for my current employers but it is also the truth. Your life will be a living hell if Excel doesn't run on your laptop. So wisen up and use a PC!!

experimenting.. .

2011-07-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

writing a post using a stylus tablet! This is seriously cool!!
I guess this will do what my mother couldn't. ...improve my handwriting!!

Its alright, alright...just dance, gonna be ok...

2011-07-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

My social calendar, surprisingly, is filled with events every night. Surprising because, hullo, I just got here? So, this weekend, I met a girl friend from High school, whom I had not seen for 12 years. My change of location popped up on her FB feed and voila, we had a I-haven-seen-you-in-ages-but-I'm-so-excited-to-see-you!! date on Saturday. It was amazing and a lil bewildering to meet someone from home in Chicago of all places. Since we got on so swimmingly well, we decided to go bar hopping in Lincoln Park and went to this speak easy bar called "The Violet Hour." This bar was totally hush-hush and there was no sign or anything and we actually walked passed the door a couple of times, before a portal opened that sucked us into a weird, strange land. Very Alice in wonderland like, and yes, it even had Tall High-backed chairs. This place had magnificent drinks and both of us were chilling, awash in the glow of general goodness, when this Indian dude walked up to us with the strangest of requests.

He told us, he was hitching hiking is way from Seattle to New York and could we please point him towards NY? Now, I'm normally wary of weird guys but decided to give him a chance because he was a nerd and I'm sympathetic to the plight of nerds, being one myself. He told us (atleast that was his story) that he was tired of his work and just decided on a whim to Hitch hike (and risk getting killed). He seemed like a tortured soul, who one day woke up to find that his life was terribly out of track. More drama ensued that night but the thing I was stuck with, was evaluating if my own life was on track.

The answer to that is a resounding "No!" My life has never gone on expected lines from the age of 18 but my life has been more fun that I could ever fathom for myself. I never expected to be in Chicago after my MBA, I never expected to be in the US for my MBA, I never thought I'd study engineering, I never thought I'd never use my engineering..so yeah, my life has always taken unexpected turns simply because of my eagerness and willingness to do the unexpected.

It was Wimbledon Sunday yesterday and in my family it was always a tradition to turn on the TV at 6PM on Men's Final Sunday, with a tray of leftover Idlees and mint chutney. Oddly enough,I will always associate Idlees with Wimbledon Final. Yesterday, I just saw highlights and wondered how Wimbledon had ceased to be significant in my life? Or how college basketball mattered to me more? The milieu I was born into no longer existed or was rapidly fading and instead, I was in a milieu that I had created for myself. Isn't that awesome or is it?

In a reminder that there is always price to pay for living life on a whim, the ex called to tell me that he was getting engaged to somebody. We probably would have gotten hitched had I not decided to come to the US. While I was truly happy for him, I never thought I'd be single at 27. That depressed me for a while, till I realised what I had gained - new experience, tons of travel, new friends and a job that's got me excited to pins!

I've come to realize that, as long as I continue to be curious, as long as I continue to push the envelope and take risks, my life is never going to be "on track." It is never going to be "normal" but it sure as hell will be interesting. Amen to that!

of Pride, Craziness and Sheila's Youth

2011-06-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

Chicago is turning out to be quite fun. My quick impression of this city after a mere 3 weeks is that it is unassuming, fun and beautiful. It is now my favourite city in the US..ok well both Seattle and Chicago and most amazingly, I'll be shuttling between these two fabulous cities quite often thanks to work! totally jazzed!

Now on to the fun part - The craziness that was yesterday. Right, it all began when K & D my two favourite people in Chicago, invited me to their pre-pride party. When I saw that the event started at 10 am, my eyebrows shot up. Yes, I went to B-school where drinking was a norm, but at 10am?? So on sunday morning, I overslept as usual, waking up just in time to shower, wash the hair and dress up in an orange polka-dot dress. The thing is, you can't go to party hosted by queens unless you're quite fashionably dressed. So by the time I reached their house it was 11 am and I was famished.

and there it was, spread out, the "Breakfast of Champions" or what it should consist of - Vodka lemonade, pita chips and potato salad. K &D, both amazing hosts, immediately made sure I had a cup in hand and was quickly introduced to whole new bunch of people - met some fellows MBAs at Ross and some their friends from the city. I LOVE meeting new people and listening to their personal stories. It has all the anticipation that comes with the beginning of a new chapter.

After being sufficiently "wined" up, off we went to watch the parade. I repeat, our original plan was to find a good spot on the pavement and WATCH the parade. But somehow, we became PART of the parade. The Human Rights float was head of us and behind us were a bunch of hot looking guys in pink leotards, dancing to lady gaga. As soon we realized that we were in the parade, it was like our inner Diva was unleashed. We went around giving Hi-fives to random people in the crowd, hugging people and kissing puppies. And the most amazing part was the cheering from the crowd. It was most incredible - to see the acceptance, the tolerance and the love for the LGBT folks in this city. This parade was not just a spectacle but a celebration of accepting people for who they are! made me love chicago twice over!

The parade was crazy long and by this time, I was truly buzzed and had lost all inhibition. Not hard when there was alcohol and an adoring crowd involved. I kind of realized why rockstars act the way they do. The feeling is truly heedy! Somebody in my group dared me to kiss a cop after I mentioned that they, the law enforcement officers manning the parade, looked all tense and grumpy. You know you've lost all sense of reason, when you run up to a cop and give him a massive hug. The first one, smiled and didn't seem to mind it and so bolstered, I kissed the next one right in the face. And that boys and girls, will be my achievement of the year. Some people get married, some make babies, I show affection for law enforcement. That's how much of a fan I am.

Anyway, we got off the parade due to sheer exhaustion and came back to base camp. When we got back to K &D's house, K started playing bollywood numbers and both of us started dancing to the sheer amusement of the others present in the room. After showing them what an "item number" is (thanks to Sheila and her youth), I decided to head back, make that stumble back home. Infact I was walking so slowly, that a random dude who passed by me, asked me if I was ok. I smiled and told him that I had the best day ever!

insert smiley here

2011-06-19T01:49:00.000-07:00

I'm usually never in a overtly happy mood. My happy moods are always tinged with circumspect-ness that has me channeling some past foreboding just to balance things out, but these days, it's plain old joy of a blithe existence. Joie de vivre and so forth.

First, there is new music in my life. Really nice, indie type music that my youngest cousin suggested to me via a sweetly composed text, listing all her favourite obscure bands in alphabetical order! I hadn't heard of any of the bands, and am now spending my time getting to know to them. So that's how I find myself addicted to Born Ruffians these days. Love em! Music also helped me bond with my lil cousin sis, although calling her "lil" would be a misnomer because she turned legit (21) a couple of weeks back, which officially makes me her older, yoda-channeling cousin. Apart from obscure music, she also likes myth busters and integration and I was like "ME TOO!"

Second, my new found love is Chicago. Each passing day has me falling more in love with this city. It's brilliant in the summer with soo much to do and explore. I feel like a newborn, taking in new sights and neighbourhoods. This city has great food, artsy stores and superb architecture that has me (embarrassingly) gawking at buildings. and then there is the lake!! (which I can partially see from my apartment.) I've also discovered the running track along the lake and when the weather is great, my run is nothing short of exquisite. It's also a "walker" friendly city. I can walk, for hours on end and not get bored! Chicago in summer also has a plethora of street fairs and music concerts. An amazing city and I feel awesome to live in it. My only hope is that it doesn't go apeshit cold on me in the winter. *Fingers crossed*

Third, fixing my apartment is keeping me occupied. I'm doing endless research on the kind of "look" I want for each room and the whole process is TONS of fun. I was soo meant to play "house-house." I'm going furniture shopping in the coming week and hopefully can get my hands on the furniture I've been eyeing. So far, I'm veering towards a kitchy art-decor theme but design projects have their own weird evolution, especially MY design projects, so I can't wait to see how my apartment turns out. But I hope it has a warm, hang-outey feel to it..you know, where I can lounge and have friends come over and play scrabble over chai...That's definitely the dream, so far none of my friends like scrabble although they do like chai.

Fourth, speaking of friends, I'm also meeting many new people and getting to know them. Having wonderful conversations that leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy. Right now, for me there is nothing more exciting than adding new chicago contacts to my phone. Each new contact makes me feel like I'm moving ahead, learning new things and opening the door to new experiences..

so yeah, overall, Happy.

A foody ode to Durham

2011-06-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

Oddly enough, you realise that a city is "Home" to you when you start missing its food. That odd hour craving that develops suddenly and that which cannot be met because, sadly, you're not in the city anymore. That's when you realize that you'll always share a bond, that only gastric juices can enhance.

I agree, that "city" is indeed a bold word to describe Durham with. For most people it's a quaint old college town, somewhat dwarfed by the state school (who I'll not name to maintain the purity of this blog) down the road. For me, it will always be my first home in the US. A place with a swirl of quirkiness and warmth hovering over it. A place where Starbucks people actually give you complimentary coffee for graduating or acing an exam (true and true). A place where taxi drivers drive back to return your wallet, a place where a hair salon brews its own beer and you actually get tipsy while getting a hair cut and finally, a place where a traffic cop will let you go with just a warning and not a ticket (OK I'll admit that last incident might be a one off because I've gotten my share of speeding tickets as well)

I've always believed you can fathom the content of a town's character by its food. I'll always associate Durham with warm, soul enriching food. No hoity-toity, stiff upper lippy food with complicated names but simple, down to earth goodness, that can rouse the very best in mortals if needed. So while I sit here in my Chicago's apartment, I miss not sitting in my favourite cafe, I miss fried food and I miss the southern drawl, which usually fronts for friendliness and warmth. So,methinks it would be grave if I didn't document all my favourite haunts. Even at the risk of rousing my food craving and not being able to fulfill it sadly.

1. Saladelia Cafe: I'll always consider Saladelia my secret abode. This was the first cafe I stumbled into after landing in Durham. Though, initially I went there for the Free Wi-Fi, later on I began going there more for the food and the soothing Jazz music. It was my place to ponder from, wonder about and watch the world at work. It was also a place that encouraged musicians and there'd hardly be a weekend where a Jazz band did not play. I'll always remember those sun drenched Saturdays, watching a Jazz quartet play and just reveling in the insouciance of the moment. I'll also remember it for Fida, the owner of Saladelia. She gave me the tightest hug anybody ever gave me, every time she saw me. She'd always be there to listen to my experiences in a new country, while sharing with me her own, as a Lebanese student in the 90s. But then there was the Food. The best hummus you ever ate, or a Gyro or a wrap. I'll miss sauntering into Saladelia on a Saturday afternoon and eating a great brunch, while planning the rest of the glorious weekend, with jazz music as background score to my existence.

2. Fosters/Parker & Otis: Brunch reminds me of all the great conversations I've had with people at both these places. If Saladelia was my solitary haunt, Fosters and P&O, was where I socialized and revelled in the opinion of the other. Both places had a typical southern-house ambiance and decor. Both were cluttered with candy, pots & pans, cook books, preserves and every odd kitchen nick-knack one could possibly think of. Oddly, the very clutter made it more welcoming and homely. I loved entering these two places and being lost in the aroma and the noise at once. But transformational conversations is what I'll treasure it for the most. Whether it was talking about startups and business plans or love life and boys, I always left feeling smarter than when I entered. It's like these places fostered discussion. The food mainly consisted of sandwiches, salads and wraps but good, ole fashioned talk was what made it special.

3. Dains: One of my biggest achievements in B-school was not getting a job but winning the Dain's Trivia. Dain's is the official college bar of Duke and every Wednesday, they also have Trivia which is pretty tough to win, given that a lot of teams compete in it and so, thats why it is one of the hallmark of my B-school experience. Dain's also has the best veggie burger in town.

4. Bull City Burger & Beverages: speaking of burgers, I would duel anybody who didn't think these guys had the best burger in the town. I still wildly crave the "Green Monster" with Duck fat fries. Oh mother-o-gawd. The burgers here make me wish I were pregnant and a carte blanche to eat how much ever I wanted. sigh.They are THAT GOOD!

5. Guglhupf Cafe: More than brunch, I loved coming here for their dinner specials. Their food had a lot of European (though mainly German) influence. I loved their schnitzel, beef short ribs and pan roasted salmon the best. Their desserts were out of this world! My thrill of the evening would be to choose MY dessert from the dessert tray laden with pretty,eye-popping desserts. Sigh, loved it!

6. Broad Street Cafe: Great for beer, pizza and random live band on a Friday Night. Actually, the best kept secret was their Chocolate chess pie, which a good friend once told me about. We often went there just for that particular dessert.

7. Local Yogurt: My favourite yogurt place. They have the best tasting frozen yogurt in the country methinks. So natural and tart. Always a great spot for catching up with friends during the week or to chase the mid week blues away.

8. Vimala's Curry Blossom Cafe: Though technically not in Durham, I'll add this to the list because I can't help but crave for their fried plantains. Great, home cooked Indian food with none of the usually greasy dishes that you expect from Indian restaurants in the US. This place is special also because, when the owner felt like it, she made a pretty awesome fish curry that just drenched your soul in satisfaction.

Lot of other awesome places that I'll miss : Vin Rouge (French), Dane's Indian Lunch house, Tyler's Tap Room, Thai Cafe, Twisted Noodles, Chubby's Tacos (Mexican), Queen of Sheeba (Ethiopian) , Mediterranean Grill (Greek/Turkish) and many more.

Oh Durham, I'll miss your food sooo much but darn, all that food talk has made me SEVERELY hungry now!

Ok, Now What?

2011-06-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

So here I am, in an empty apartment in a chicago highrise. I just got here today with 3 bags. The rest of my stuff is on its way here. I realize I have moved every year for the past 6 years and so I've become adept at packing even though I'm still not immune to the whole process yet. I wish I was though. Its pretty hard, uprooting your life every 12 months and starting anew. So, it is with packing fatigue that I write this. If not for it, I would be very excited about the future. About the thought of working in my DREAM job, something I'm sooo excited about, that I can't wait to start already! I would also be very excited about the city I'm living in and bought my new neighbourhood. I say I would, more so because of my sadness at the ending of school.

The month of may was awesome to say the least. Celebrating the culmination of a hard-earned, transformational journey. I met amazing people from all over the world and saying goodbye was tough but I know I have a place to stay in in virtually 70 countries in the world. That in itself was one of the best gifts of this process. My parents and brother were also here to see me graduate. I'm glad they got to see my school and meet my friends and be part of the graduation ceremony. We also went all over the country after that. NY, Vegas, Grand Canyon and SF. They got to see this great country and the things that make it incredible. It felt weird to say goodbye to them at SF and come back to Durham to pack though. Wish we had more time together.

On the bright side though, I'm incredibly grateful for such an amazing experience and for the opportunity to, atleast in this moment, look in to the future with excitement and wonder about the things to come :)

End of Dog Days

2011-04-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

So three more weeks..three more weeks and this experiment, this mad,awesome journey of studying in a new country will come to an end. To tell you the truth, it hasn't quite hit me yet. More so because for the next three weeks atleast I'll continue seeing those familiar faces, I will go to dinner with these familiar faces, will argue with said familiar faces and rinse, repeat.

I still can't get over how my life has changed as a result of coming here. Can you wholly transform in two years? yes you can. But there is still time to reflect. Still time to write the nostalgic post. Meanwhile, there's a student life to be lived in these three weeks:

1.Dinner invites are being sent faster than the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and thats saying a lot. This bodes well because it fits in perfectly with my plans to finish my baking supplies, and make cupcakes to these potlucks. I had bought tons of baking supplies to bake cupcakes for the Durham Public Library when I was feeling particularly altruistic. However, the DPL punctured my gesture by telling me to shove it as they did not want to be liable for allergy reactions. Such is the world! so my fellow MBAs are lucky beneficiaries of my baking pursuits

2. Team meetings to attend: Fortunately both my teams this term are KICK ASS. We are mowing down work like a crazy efficient mad machine, team meetings are down to an hour and most importantly, nobody is harbouring murderous feelings against each other. Atleast that I know of!

3. Also being chased by several clubs and associations to part with my money. I get an email reminder and a phone call reminder everyday. So much so that, I've had to come up with elaborate evading manouvers that would impress a fighter pilot training for a dog fight. Yes I'm awesome like that.

4.Theme parties galore are also fighting with the above entities for my money.My stand has always been that where there is vodka, there goes my money. So you know, which team I'm batting for. Its also wonderfully gratifying to see EVERY club embrace the route of theme parties to raise funds and fleece me.

5. Dampening spirits like a wet blanket on a wet day are perpetual emails about graduation. With questions like "have you picked up parking passes" "have you picked up cap and gown" "have you picked up yourself" etc etc. Nooooooooo. I'm not ready to graduate. Yet! don't utter that bloody word!

6.Emails about graduations are followed by emails by professors on forthcoming exams and what we need to submit to graduate. Like a 24 page treatise on odd behaviour of people or on decision making and sex.Thats when it hits you. You are DONE writing Exams. You are ready to graduate!

7. All these emails makes you realize that IT is going to happen and the folks are going to come and accommodation needs to be readied. aaaaaaaaargh! so many things to do!

8.Then you look at yourself in the mirror and realize that serious weight needs to be lost and that the graduation pic is going to stay with you a long time and one really CANNOT be retaining water at the time. Exercise is in order but not diet.

9.Which me brings me back to all the dinner invites....

Its mad, its crazy..its like approaching the last 360 degree loop on a roller coaster before the ride ends.

mark as unread

2011-04-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

When the letter you wrote me

fell unexpectedly out of a book,

I re-experienced that sensation of dread again.

How you told me you had to end it because

you had to leave and go

to another country,

to live another life,

to breathe another air

to meet other people.

our laughter wasn't enough.

our embrace wasn't all encompassing.

Its been 15 years since,

I hope it was worth it.

Good things

2011-04-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a good evening. real good. Witnessed an outstanding Jazz concert, performed by the Watts Project featuring Jeff "Tain" Watts, Nicholas Payton, Christian Mcbride and Ravi Coltrane. made me realize that good music is more than just music, its about being ensconced in a wave of feeling. I can't quite explain it. Its like...

...watching rain fall

...subtle flavours exploding in your mouth

...mint tea and a good book

...Hot shower on a cold day

...a dress that fits well and also shows of the curves

...a love note

....petting the furry belly of a beloved pet

....a mild jog on a breezy afternoon

....a raucous dinner with friends

....Mama's hug

....a spur-of-the-moment, celebratory jig

....a nice, long, pensive drive

....freshly sharpened pencils

....feeling at home

....sepia toned photographs

....snuggling inside a warm blanket

....singing along (out of tune) to a favourite song

....being in love with the world

War without the guns

2011-03-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Too too excited to write something new. Have been gripped by the usual nerves before such a cricket match. Actually hate cricket when it gets like this...sooo intense, so rivalrous and so much more than winning and losing. and it had to happen in the World Cup.

On an aside, I guess I'm too much of a sports fanatic. Sports and my team's outcome really matter to me. Duke crashed out of the NCAA basket ball tournament in the sweet sixteen round and for days after that I was in mourning. Still am. Still can't get over the shock loss..

ok..no more negative thoughts. On a positive note, the awesome aspect of matches such as these is that you know that your life will never be the same after such a match. The memory will stay with you. Whether it be a brilliant innings or a dropped catch, you will remember how it played out and where you were when things unfolded. Yes, regardless, its a special moment in time. And that indeed, is the beauty of sport.

Writing Project

2011-03-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a friend who took upon herself to write something every day for 100 days, I'm embarking on a similar such mission, albeit, for a modest 30 days. I figure I'll be busier than busy in May with graduation and other formalities and so the reduced target.

But why the project in the first place? Because I need it to spark the creative part of my brain. I love creative writing. wait. make that loved. In school, we were asked to write essays on arbitrary topics, I remember salivating with glee, at the thought of conjuring up new worlds, situations and people. There was nothing more exhilarating than letting the imagination run wild. so much fun! But as my analytical side started to dominate due to engineering undergrad and work, I found my creative instincts starting to rust. And there it continued to languish, where now, I find myself dreading at the very thought of..you know..creating something. Where once I could conjure up a short story in a matter of minutes, now I can't even get myself to write a paragraph. So I need this project. to re-ignite my stunted creative side. The ultimate hope is that the constant writing will not only improve my ability to write but also make me comfortable once more in letting my imagination run.

On an aside though, notice my cop out in meeting today's writing ..ahem.. "Target." Instead of ravishing my 5 readers with fancy prose, I gave you a long winded explanation that is neither creative nor funny. so you see why I need to write more?

The Final Countdown

2011-03-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

Here,I am, in the final leg of this 2 year journey called B-school. Only 5 more weeks to go before I graduate and I find myself in the "real" world. I want to say its been so much fun, yada yada but oddly enough B-school has made me more circumspect and (dare I say it) mature, to be able to be trite.

I can't quite put my finger on what within has changed but something in my core has changed. I have had lots of experiences that have shaped my experiences but very rarely have these profoundly impacted my core. But B-school did and so my ambivalence towards the whole thing.

I did give up a lot to be here. My life in my country, my family, my love and my friends. But,on the other hand, I also received a lot - new experiences, new friends, travel..erm "Business Acumen." At the end, I feel like recipient of a zero sum game. A game that extracts a lot of you but oddly enough leaves you richer because of the very extraction. Like what a person finishing a Marathon might feel like, I suppose. Every mile of the Marathon is more painful than the previous one, but on reaching the finish line, there is no trace of the pain. Only a magnanimous sense of achievement and relief.

B-school for me was not all sunshine for me primarily because it caused me to ask myself a series of uncomfortable, existential type questions. And more importantly I opened myself to these questions. Like, "what do I stand for?" or "Should I compromise and aim at getting any job or do go after what I'm passionate about?" and ofcourse, the piece de resistance of all existential quandries, "What AM I passionate about in the first place?"

I knew B-school was going to be the place where I re-calibrated myself. Not many people get the opportunity to do that and so I went about it with a rare resolve. I used these two years to find myself - what my beliefs were, what my passions were and where I wanted to be. I took risks and countless leaps of faith. I stumbled many times, but learned to raise myself up and walk again. I learned what it was like to stare at an abyss and even walked down a depressive spiral or two. I learned about people and how I deal with people. Finally, I learned my personal boundaries - what I would and would not do.

So If you ask me if it was "Fun." I'd say, probably not the best word to describe it. too trite. Now "Metamorphosis" now, that has a great ring to it. I literally feel different from the Me of two years ago. I don't know what changed but something did, at a very profound level.

So,was it worth it then? since we're all in the business (pardon the pun) of cost-benefit analysis and the like, I have only one answer. And I have no ambiguity in answering this.

HELL YEAH!

When the sun un-hides

2011-03-16T19:46:00.001-07:00

Dark clouds cause rain,
Dark clouds are tough and when it smothers you,
It forces you to wallow in the pain
Dark clouds are bereft of soul
Dark clouds are dark and when you can’t see,
the darkness seems cruel
Dark clouds kill hope
Dark clouds are dense and when it strangles your heart,
it feels like you can’t cope
Dark clouds are angry,
Dark clouds are fiery and when it thunders,
all you want to do is bury
But it is also true that dark clouds don’t last forever

A Beautiful Day

2011-02-19T12:01:00.001-08:00

The tables are a-glitter in sunshine,
The umbrellas fluttering sublimely,
Sitting by myself in a café, contemplating life,
The only person I want to be with is ME

My Precocious, Precious 6 Year Old

2011-01-31T00:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Bloggie,

I don't know what caused me to give birth to you on 5th November of 2004. I think it was the restlessness that comes with being 21 or may be it was the need to have a creative outlet while doing engineering, but whatever it was, my beautiful bloggie, you were born and since then have been my one constant love. Yes not even my shoes. (you have to take my word for it, I'm afraid)

I'm bad at commemorating milestones. I forget anniversaries and birthdays and I forgot your birthday too (sorry!). I only remembered that you'd turned 6 when I was mentioning you to somebody, when she asked me about when I'd started blogging and that was when I remembered!

Dear God, has it been 6 years my love? 6 years since we started keeping a record of my life, my activities (heh!), my loves (double heh!) and my view on life? I want to say that despite the crests and troughs of life, having you as a constant keeps me moored.I can look back at the times and see how far I've come, see my evolution actually. Its wonderfully weird to see your own pattern of evolution. I think its the scientist's daughter in me that looks at various blog posts of the past and analyzes how I changed and where I changed. Pretty cool neh?

But I digress, this is about you and why you're important to me. Calling you just an outlet to my creative outpourings would be mean and belittling you. No. You see I think a lot. I've always been that kid thats been lost in thought. My head is filling up with sentences and my thoughts are flashing at the speed of light. To bring order to chaos, and partly to empty my head of these sentences, I start to write. To give them order and coherency. and thats when clarity happens. Like magic. They come together like obedient wards and align themselves into a marvelous whole. Before I know it, I have expressed an opinion and created something meaningful. Its like giving birth and thats why you need to be celebrated. You are truly my offspring.

I get to create thoughts and opinion and see them manifest themselves in you. You need to be revered because frankly, how many of us create? or even care to create? We are a world that idolizes rationale and logic. But not so much creativity. Parents don't tell their children to be poets or artists sadly. Creativity is a wondrous thing and it is ghastly that the world does not acknowledge or give rightful due to a process where you are essentially creating something from nothing. While rationale is discovery, creativity is invention. You, my dear, are magic and that's why the ode to you. You are my rebellion and my release. When I'm mired in calculation, I come to you for redemption and you let me be without judgment. My own little cocoon in this vast web.

I don't feel stymied in your presence, In fact I exult. I'm at my best, my most confident with you. My general awkwardness vanishes before you and I feel like an unencumbered conduit, pouring out emotions. You have no Idea how indebted to you I am for this. It is as much a safe haven as it is exhilaration.

I could list numerous reasons of why you are precious to me and if something were to happen to the server on which you're stored (Heaven forbid!), I would truly experience the loss of an offspring.

My favourite author/literary personality Oscar Wilde said that to love oneself was the beginning of a lifelong romance. You are indeed that.

Love,

The Defense of Liberal Arts

2011-01-27T20:32:00.000-08:00

I was watching The King's Speech the other day, (brilliant movie btw, C.Firth is delishh!) and there is this bit where Firth's character, who has a speech impediment, has to recite a Shakespearean verse to his speech therapist, Geoffery Rush. The verse happened to be the eponymous verse from Hamlet, the one that everyone and their uncle claim to understand - To be or Not to be. At first glance, it seems a random verse but in the context of the movie, where Firth's character, George the sixth, is struggling to come to terms with his own existence as as a stammering, public speaking royal, the verse is extremely significant. It was an odd coincidence but it reminded me of the time I studied Hamlet in school whilst battling my own existential quandry. At that time, when I read the verse, I remember thinking that if there was someone more uncertain about things than Hamlet, it was me.

I shone all through school because of the diversity of the subjects we were studying. I loved that the specificity of science was balanced by the abstract hindsight of History. So through school, from standard 1 to standard 10, you could say I was thoroughly intrigued. So in standard 11 and 12 when I had to make a choice of what I wanted to concentrate in - whether Science, Commerce or Arts, I couldn't decide what I wanted to do simply because I had no measure of what I excelled in and what I didn't. I was sort of an all rounder and as everyone knows, there's nothing worse than the fate of an all rounder.

I chose to concentrate in Science simply because it had an aura of sagacity to it. Also, it seemed like the most logical thing to do because I grew up in an extremely scientific household. No-brainer it seemed. Unfortunately though, all my friends got separated into the other sections. You see, they had a much better idea of what their strengths were and appropriately chose to play to their strengths. A most excellent strategy, if I may so comment. So while I learned the irrefutability of science, they learned to glean insights from abstract prose. While I learned the rules of calculus, they were debating the importance of the UN in the modern era. I always felt short changed when I hung out with them. Their learning seemed to evolve with them while mine was fixed and centered around the rules of the universe.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my courses. Learning about the building blocks of the universe and the rules that govern them is a wondrous thing in itself, but I rued the fact that there was no room for debate or discourse. E was always going to be equal to MC^2 and that certainty sucked. so I hung out with them - the wannabe poets, the budding political analysts, the specious economists and was awash in their glow. I remember lying out in glorious sunshine, on the lawn outside a 150 year old building where our classroom was, and listening to my best friend recite "The Lady of Shalott" I comprehended for the first time what unrequited love must feel like thanks to Lord Tennyson. It made me wonder. It put me in another's shoe. I sat in on classes when they read poetry which introduced me to poets such as Phillip Larkin, D H Lawrence, Tennyson, and ofcourse T S Eliot. I remember being in agony when I found out that I had missed out on a poetry class where they spent 3 class hours decoding "The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock" I had read it and re read it, and each time, I came off gleaning something new, something abstract. I argued politics with them, we discussed the middle east peace process and took sides on which country had the most functioning democracy.

These discourses ripped open my certain world in science. There was no right or wrong but you learned to form an opinion or an insight. I was learning to make up my mind and defend them instead of having certainties handed down to me. I learned more about life outside the class and slowly started getting disenchanted with my own studies. I got caught up in an existential crisis that behooved a teenager - what did I want in life - certainty of logic or the uncertainty of the abstract? to be or not to be? I couldn't agree with Hamlet more.

When I look back on what made the most impression on me in those years, it was the Arts. Poetry, literature and political science.I don't remember now what a benzene ring looks like or how the carbon molecule concatenated, but I do know that the arts taught me to appreciate the philosophy and absurdity of life. It gave me the liberal outlook I still possess and transformed me as a person. From a world of black and white, I embraced the grey. I couldn't have asked for a greater gift from my education.

So not to sound preachy, but I think its time the Arts got its due in the Indian Educational system. We are a society that produces way too many engineers and not enough poets.

Do you tell lies? And say that it's forever?

2011-01-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

Winter break, dear reader, is a wondrous thing in the life of a B-school student. Especially so, if you're a 2nd year B-school student. The days stretch before you and you find you have nothing to do except check Facebook with zeal and upload your term photos with even more zeal. Ofcourse, if you happen to be one of those who haven't sorted that bit about "impending occupation" you will have nights with nervous sleep but really, even you will admit that there's so much time and not enough to do. Not that doing anything is necessary. Indeed, after being done with 6 week hectic terms, where one is chasing one team meeting after another, plotting violent ends to said team meetings, meeting deadlines galore - one is quite glad to be not doing anything. It becomes a time then, to stop, breathe and smell the metaphorical rose. Its a time to reflect upon things, indeed, take stock of the world and get out, however briefly, of the B-school bubble and ponder wordly things. If you are me, you will do that and more. Like studying the lyrics of arbitrary songs and gleaning philosophical meaning from it.

Yes, given that I had so much time, I found myself asking what Def Leppard truly meant when they said "Love Bites" not just that, it even bled they said. It seemed a pertinent question given that the whole world except me was in Love. Numerous Relationship statuses changed, pink hearts emerged and you were led to thinking that Louis Armstrong was not chasing utopia and that it truly was a wonderful world. Or was it?

I may not know a lot of things but I do know Love. Well atleast I knew it. I also know that nothing is as misrepresented in this world as love. I've never been able to fathom why all the material on this topic is primarily concerned with falling in love. So much so that, the world at large is in love with the idea of falling in love. It is the only pursuit. What about maintaining it? what about the dark side of love? why doesn't anybody talk about it? Thanks to movies and other media, we have constructed an ideal of what love should be. We are told that its happy and things will fall in place once we are in love. Anyone who has been in a relationship, will tell you that finding love is just the beginning of things, and its maintaining it that is a bitch.

The only movie that comes to mind that broached this topic - the dark side of love - was 500 days of Summer. Which didn't do too well at the box office because ofcourse it didn't have the stereotypic happy ending but for me the move had a realistic portrayal of Love in our complicated era. She didn't know what she wanted, and he was too enamoured with her too really see that she didn't love him as much as he did. My biggest pet peeve is that nobody warns you about the dark side.

No one tells you about relationship dynamics and how you're always striving to maintain the delicate balance of conceding and receiving. And what about compromise? and how you don't always get what you want because now you're in a team and are expected to take one for the team. Most importantly, no one ever talks about how self-diminishing love can be. The more you imbibe each other's interests and habits, the less individualistic you each become. Is that not a cause for worry? Is it not a bad thing to be guilt ridden for wanting something for oneself when it may not be in the best interest of your relationship? I've been there and wondered why there is no handbook on dealing with Love.

I may be rambling but what I'm trying to say is that we are taught to believe that finding love is the ultimate jackpot but may be its not. May be its not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Its a whole lot more complicated than what our rose tinted glasses allow us to see and may be, just may be, it is not so trite as changing that relationship status and getting that pink heart next to your name.

Digits

2011-01-15T22:17:00.000-08:00

From across the bar, when our eyes met

I knew in an instant, that the scene was set

For us to tango into discovering each other.

When you said you liked Shakespeare

I said OMG! I *heart* King Lear,

And my heart beat quickened a bit (just a bit),

We talked about cars, wars and beatniks

And even supported the right party in politics,

This is unreal I thought.

I wanted time to stand still,

If only I could, with all my will,

But you had to leave. Sigh. “Call me” you said,

and on my extended palm you wrote your number,

I knew I’d dream about you in my slumber

(and, of our dozen babies, ofcourse)

Soon after, I decided to leave too,

But not before making a quick stop at the loo

All the while my heart was smiling.

I turned on the water to make my hands clean,

Don’t yell at me, it was a matter of hygiene,

I wasn’t thinking ok?

I couldn’t believe it, all I could do was stare,

No remnant of you, my palm was bare,

Unfortunately, it seems like we were never meant to be.

> 1000 words

2011-01-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

If you haven't guessed, this is a pictoral blogpost, capturing some of my favourite pics and moments of 2010.

1. 2010 NCAA Basketball championships: Easily my most awesome event of the year. That epic last shot that wasn't, the celebration that followed at Cameroon, will forever be etched in my mind. Hell it made my expensive education worth it.

2. Improv final performance: Acting silly and making people laugh can be the funnest experience. My improv team below where pigeons did make progress.

3. 2010 was filled with so much travel and such memorial experiences. Two of my favourite pics below. One from Brugge and one from Cairo

4. Re-discovering my passion for running through the beautiful WaDuke Trail. It is 3 miles long and my favourite running trail in the Durham area. Will miss it terribly.

5. Discovering The Duke West Campus thanks to my French Class. I got to see the magnificent Duke Chapel and the rest of the campus in the serene morning light. I loved starting my day with so much beauty to behold. Makes you appreciate life a whole lot more.

6. This was also a good year for collecting shoes. I'm literally gonna be the lady who lives with her shoes. My favourite pair of 2010. So pinkkk, it hurts :)

7. Also a year where I discovered my love for baking. Made cupcakes galore and this was my denouement. Aren't they pretty? they tasted awesome too FYI. The secret it turns out, is sour cream. Who da thunk?

8. Not so bad a year. A few ups, lot more downs. Good memories, painful memories. Hoping 2011, nay praying, really hard that 2011 is much better. Actually, the picture below sums my mantra for this year

Time to turn back and descend the stair

2010-12-31T18:48:00.000-08:00

Last day of the year, last night actually and I'm here, tired but happy, in my jammies. No major plans to ring in the new year, no major parties and no annoying confetti that gets stuck in your hair. I spent the whole day today at Universal Orlando theme park and had a sooper fun day. I'm tired as hell because I spent the whole day walking around the massive park, especially the Harry Potter theme park - doing the rides and waiting in abominably long queues. I have to say, as a maniacal Potter fan, the Harry Potter Theme Park at Orlando is awesome! They replicated Hogwarts, Hogsmead and Diagon Alley. We, my friend, her mother and I,went around drinking butter beer and eating sweets from, Honeydukes, the sweet shop. My favorite "ride" of the park was the "Forbidden Journey" ride, which took us through the Hogwarts castle, and finally culminated in a roller coaster ride to simulate what flying on a broom felt like. Seriously awesome! So thats why we are too tired to go out and preferred to chill at home instead.

Instead of reviewing the year that has gone by, I've instead decided to revisit some memorable events - good and bad in 2010

I really enjoyed the Improv class I took in Jan. This came right after a brooding winter break and it managed to draw me out emotionally. It was so much fun and lighthearted. Also, it gave me the opportunity to let my hair down and just live in the moment. My improv team put up a show at the end of the class and I couldn't believe that was me, being silly and not being too conscious about it. Good Fun!

I traveled quite a bit this year, and although I didn't write about it extensively, my favourite trip this year was to Belgium and Netherlands with my best friend since school, Amrita. We had a rocking girls trip to Amsterdam but my favourite memory of the trip was us going clubbing on my last day and getting mad drunk. I still remember us being in that cab, at 4 am, on the way to her apartment, and Amrita went "You need to blog more. Promise me!" I told her I loved her and promptly passed out. Everytime I hit "Publish" on my blogposts now, I see her, in my minds eye, nodding her head in approval. Love you babe!

I also went home to India in May primarily because it was my Dad's 60th birthday and we planned to throw him a surprise party. I was really excited about going back because I imagined the reception I would get. Mom would smother me with embarrassing affection I thought and might possibly cry at the airport itself. When I did arrive, at 2 am in the night, to my unpleasant surprise, NO ONE came to receive me. They had forgotten!! I called them, from a pay phone at the airport and they woke up and went "Oh!" I waited after that for an hour, during which time, the airport security guard, took pity on me and commented that studying in the US didn't necessarily warrant for special treatment (!!!!) I was upset, primarily because, my brother, when he came home from Australia, always got the full blown airport reception.I felt cheated! Anyway, after that my parents spent the remaining four weeks being extra nice to me to make up for not being at the Airport. Dad also gave me access to his fully stocked bar, so basically, things brightened up considerably :)

I was in Delaware for the summer for my internship. This needed me to drive from Durham to Delaware in June. I had NEVER driven before coming to the US so I found the thought of driving 400 miles absolutely daunting. I remember starting out at 8 am in sheer nervousness and then gradually settling into the ride. At lunch, I dropped in to a MacDonald's outlet for the first time ever in the US and found that I couldn't decipher the menu. Give me my McAloo Tikki anyday, I said, quietly to myself. After lunch, I drove for 3 hours straight and reached Delaware.This was a huge milestone for me because I felt like I achieved something. It felt like I had broken the shackles and become really independent. All my life I had either been driven around or relied on public transport. Driving such a long distance, made me feel strong and confident. Yay!

As I blogged before, my birthday came during Finals week and so I had two finals on my birthday. Inspite of that people turned up for my birthday soiree, which really meant a lot to me. But the gesture that did it was, Fida, the proprietress, of Saladelia, giving me a Tiramisu Cake for my birthday. She said that she knew how it felt to spend a birthday without your family (say awwww). The kindness of strangers continues to astound me and reminds me that a little kindness goes a long way.

In Year 2 of school, I consciously decided to cook more. I not only baked more but also got into the habit of cooking Indian food more. My biggest culinary feat was cooking for dinner party of 6 in December. I couldn't believe how grown up I'd become! and I couldn't believe people were eating my food and saying it was delicious. I was relieved to know that the cooking gene that runs in my family had not by passed me. I agree that I might have drwan the shorter straw in this area because my Mom, Dad and brother are brilliant cooks but I'm not so bad myself.

2010 was certainly eventful. It felt like I took two steps forward and one back. It was a roller coaster of a year. Here's hoping that the next year will be a much happier and joyous one for you and me.

Happy New Year!

There's no sunshine when its gone

2010-12-29T20:35:00.000-08:00

Let me be absolutely honest and say that when it comes to cricket, I'm not the most ardent Indian cricket fan one could hope to find. I don't remember memorable match plays, I don't obsess over our victories or losses, hell I'm not even up to speed with the composition of the Indian team sometimes. But, whatever, my level of affiliation, Cricket has always been a part of my life - it was for the past 26 years atleast - through its ubiquitous presence on TVs, Newspapers and Dinner table discussions.

It was hard to be oblivious to it because I had an older brother who was absolutely obsessed with it. So obsessed that I think he secretly harboured notions of being a cricketer one day. Well, not so secret because my brother actually played cricket inside the house and how he managed not to break anything, or send the food tray flying, still makes me wonder. Given this, I had no choice but to give in and let our TV be dominated by Cricket. And gradually, I found myself actually watching Cricket -out of my own volition.

My first memory of cricket, or rather my favourite first memory of cricket was the 1992 World cup in Australia & New Zealand. The cricket stadiums were picturesque and breadthtaking, while the cricket threw up some outlandish surprises -like New Zealand topping the league.I still remember my father's wonder in NZ looking invincible. "They have more sheep" he said. South Africa, coming back into the international arena looked like the only formidable opposition to NZ and there were loud murmurs of our own boy wonder -Sachin Tendulkar. He was a phenomenon no more, but the anointed son who would save Indian Cricket. Anybody who could stand up to Merv Hughes and his ilk was surely, that? When I look back, I think the 1992 world cup was instrumental in burgeoning my love for cricket. It showed me the power of the under dog (insert Pak reference here), the perils of being cocky (Australia as always), the vagaries of chance (Duckworth -Lewis system) and the heartbreak of defeat (South Africa's loss in the Semis). I think that world cup reeled me into the world of Cricket for good.

I sort of consider myself lucky that I saw India's ascendancy in cricket while I was growing up and that I got to see Sachin Tendulkar's career. On hindsight, they both are highly co-related methinks. For me atleast, the glory years of Indian cricket were from 1996 - 2005. Well, 2005 was the year I graduated college and the last year I followed cricket doggedly. I remember the 1996 world cup hosted my India vividly. Expectations were higher than the 1992 world cup and after we defeated Pakistan in Bangalore, thanks to Venkatesh Prasad's epic dimissal of Aamir Sohail, all of us were sure that we were going to clinch it. In school (my conservative methodist all girls school), they even started broadcasting the cricket commentary over the intercom!! such was the mania. Sadly, we lost, uncomprehendingly, to Sri Lanka, the eventual winners. That for me was the beginning of Indian Cricket's See-Saw era. The team would give us giddying wins and immediately, with the next match infact, plunge us into despair with soul shattering losses. The words "inconsistent" and "lack of killer instinct" got bandied about regularly.

My favourite cricket memory is undoubtedly the 1999 world cup and the India Vs Sri Lanka match. That day is etched in my memory because two new gems, Dravid and Ganguly, schooled Sri Lanka and my board exam results were also announced on the same day. I couldn't veer myself away from the TV to even see how I did in what I thought were my seminal exams. I actually asked a friend to see my results at school. She didn't get back to me and so I had to, ask the brother to drive me to school. He cursed me and the school board for taking him away from that brilliant match play. He didn't forgive me even when he became the brother of the school topper. He still cursed me. That day was a great day.

As an Indian cricket fan, you got used to the dizzying heights and the abysmal lows. You became a tempered soul that never rejoiced too much, like when they won the Natwest Trophy against England. You knew that it wouldn't be long before they lost to lowly Bangladesh. You became one who could meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.This also became your philosophical point of view. It did become mine. I never got too excited by my own personal successes and not too disappointed by my failures. When the team lost several series in succession, you learned to have faith and believe and were rewarded with an outstanding series win. The Indian team showed you that to have a heart was also a great thing. I can remember so many innings were there was a lone Indian batsman who showed heart and stood up to wild inswinging bowling while his team collapsed around him. Being an Indian cricket fan taught you valuable life lessons. It taught you the value of patience, of lessons in failure, of not being swayed by success, of celebrating little things like glorious stroke play and not being focused on the result itself.

I can't remember when exactly, but gradually Indian cricket started weaning itself away from Sachin Tendulkar and the Fab Four. I remember feeling a twinge of sadness when India started winning matches without a significant contribution from Sachin. The infusion of the younger brigade made the Indian team a lot more resilient and hardy. Cricket also became incredibly commercialized. The tours became numerous and the formats became confusing. That monstrosity called T20 made its presence and for me it became cricket overdose.Thats when I exited out of viewing cricket but not following it.

Inexplicably, my favourite format is the Test format of cricket. I love test matches more than anything and I find it annoying when people ask me how a game could last for 5 days. Test match for me is the epitome of cricket and incorporates strategy, patience and sublime technique. Its the unhurried version. A version where you'll see the purest of pure cover drives, one that might come 2 hours into an innings but will be totally worth the wait. I mentally ready my Decembers to be inundated with Test cricket. I always look forward to test cricket in Australia as the year end treat. Nothing compares to watching a test match played on lush green outfields, in brilliant sunny weather and with raucous fans with the most outrageous banners/signs. An overseas Indian test match victory for me is more memorable than ODI victories because a test match match victory is hard earned, more laboured and less subject to vagaries of chance.

I will never forget our Test match victory against Australia in Perth. in PERTH. I remember jumping in glee when we won because we had done it. Broken our overseas jinx and achieved a win at Perth, the bounciest mofo of a pitch. I remember how commentators analyzed and dissected the victory, I read reams written about the victory, saw TV debates on whether that was the greatest Cricket team India had ever produced and I remember my brother's excited voice. The rest of the tour was bloody brilliant too. We won the ODI series and defeated Australia in Australia.

Being in the US, I miss cricket. I miss not finding it on my TV as I channel surf, I miss post-match analysis and even, dare I say it, the excited-flawed commentary of Charu Sharma. I hate reading live match plays on websites and imagining what the shot might have been. Most of all I miss watching it with my family. How I'd pace like a restless animal when a match got tense, while my brother and Dad watched with searing concentration. My mother, an ardent fan too, would talk annoyingly and give her take on what the team should do next. The three of us, my brother, Dad and I, would catch each other's eye and have the same thought -If they made Mom the coach of the Indian cricket, that would indeed be the day.

After India's spectacular win in Durban yesterday, missing these Cricket moments makes me realize that not being able to watch cricket is a form of home sickness too. Sad that.

Dispatches from Cairo

2010-12-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

I know this post on my Egypt trip comes a bit late, but I always feel like its necessary to summarize a trip - revel in the good memories, go EGAD!! at the unpleasant ones and make general tourist mental notes.

Tourist mental notes are observations that are priceless, that stick with you long after the trip is over - sort of like a sweet aftertaste. So here goes my list of notes. Also, I've put down my list favourite things to do in Egypt at the bottom.

1. First impression of Cairo happens when you are about to land - The whole city looks like its being excavated from the sand. It looks ancient and reverent. Actually the ancientness of the land permeates through whole of Egypt and it feels special to see sights that are older than time itself.

2. Egypt is a well oiled tourist machinery.The moment you land, chances are you'll find yourself in the warm embrace of your tourist guide who'll not only pick you up from the airport but will also chaperon you around all the sites.Yes, they will even accompany you to the sound and light show, because for some reason, they think you are not capable of comprehending a sound and light show without their "insights."

Well you may think that you could do without a guided tour, but sorry, you'll go crying back to a tourist agency because the entire tourist machinery is so strong that it is quite difficult to get around without one.

3. Egyptians love football. You will see it and hear it everywhere and whenever Football is on, the former is way more important than you, the tourist. So if your tour guide disappears to see a match. Suck it!

4. Seeing Cairo brought me flashbacks of the "English Patient." Both, the book and the movie. When we visited the museum of antiquities, with its giant marble staircases, I could imagine the place being the capital of excitement thanks to all the excavations. Yeah those archaeologists really dug Egypt. (pun intended)

5. That ancient Egyptians obsessed over their afterlife clearly can be gleaned after your visit to the Great pyramids. Surely, anybody who spends 20 years to plan life after death, deserves to be called obsessive. We also learned that ancient Egyptians packed their tombs with gold, clothes and furniture. Yes, furniture!!

6. Egyptians love Indians. Atleast, they say they do or it might be a tactic to get your money by making you feel you're special because you're Indian. When they see you, their Pavlovian response is "Amitabh Bachan." I. Have. No. Idea. Why. Everywhere we went, when traders/cab drivers/policemen saw us, they said "Amitabh Bachan." I dunno what that dude did, but he has mesmerized them Egyptians and they actually do get mad when you tell them that Amitabh Bachan is Old. like really Old. and is peddling AAA batteries on TV.

7. They may love Indians but they love bargaining even more. and boy are they stellar at that or what. I thought I was the master bargainer, but Egyptian traders made me work so hard for every item, that at the end I would have given anything to not bargain. So here's how the S.O.P went:

First they'll quote you an outrageous price - this is primarily to see what your counter offer is. Then you haggle. Then they'll halt the proceedings by offering you tea. Then they ask you questions on awkward topics like dating scene in India and premarital sex while you're drinking tea. You choke on the aforementioned tea and nearly die. You contemplate that a 30 Egyptian pound scarf is not worth dying over and so you halt proceedings, tell the trader that you agree to his price and walk out. with a scalded tongue. and ego. and scarf.

8. NO scarf is worth dying over. One should never have an ego about things when one is bargaining. Helps you walk away easily. Biggest lesson learned.

9. Don't take a Negotiations class in B-school. Bargaining in a souk will teach you that

10. Egyptians hate miserly tippers. Everybody here expects a tip for something or the other. The bulk of my expense was spent in tips. So I pulled the student card and explained why I'm a miserly tipper. So now they hate students more than miserly tippers.

11. My favourite memory is hearing the call to prayers. Its a sound so reverent, that it makes you pause and reflect.

12. Egypt has so many sites and so much history but one gets the feeling that there is not much pride in that history. Most Egyptians view the Pharoanic sites as a part of their pagan history and have sadly distanced themselves from it, given that it goes against Islamic tenets.

13. My other favourite memory was cruising down the Nile, docking at villages, visiting magnificent, ancient ruins and getting a history lesson. As a history buff, there is no bigger treat than Egypt.

14. I still can't fathom how erudite and knowledgeable ancient Egyptians were to build the things that they did and to leave the legacy that they did. Makes you realise that the human race is capable of great things if it puts its mind to it.

15. The single biggest reason I love travel is the insight it provides into people's lives. By eating the food they eat, learning about the lives they lead, their pet peeves and must do's, you get an exquisite peek into a life that you may never lead, but one that sure looks like a lot of fun.

My Favourite Things to do in Egypt:

1. Climbing inside the great pyramid of Giza.

2. Seeing the Christian quarter of old Cairo. Cairo infact has numerous ancient churches and it was quite revealing to see both Islam and Christianity co-exist in Egypt.

3. Seeing the original copy of "The Psalms" at the Coptic museum. This was a seminal moment for me as the book of psalms is my favourite biblical text.

4. Drinking Mint Tea and eating Kusheri, a yummy rice dish at the 14th Century Khan-El-Khalili Souk Market.

5. Visiting the Aswan High dam in Aswan. The dam is a construction marvel.

6. Visiting the Philae temple behind the Aswan dam. The Temple was carefully restored, piece by piece, on an island, after the original site was submerged due to the building of the dam.

7. Cruising down the Nile and stopping at small villages to visit ancient ruins. My favourite site has to be the magnificent EDFU temple. My jaws dropped when I first saw the 140 mts high entrance.

8. The valley of the Kings in Luxor and the magnificent paintings inside the tombs, including king Tutan Khamen.

9. Exploring the huge site of the Karnak temple at Luxor. It was the most important temple in ancient times and is a must visit for everybody.

10. Bargaining in Egyptian souks - taking in the myriad colours and scents

raison d'etre

2010-12-21T21:40:00.000-08:00

So today, while I was in a frozen yogurt shop in Orlando called "Delish Frogen Yozurt," slurrping at my red velvet yogurt, I heard the most mellifluous voice one could hope to hear. I was surprised and could almost not believe that it was Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, singing Ave Maria, on the radio. I don't know if I should be sad or thrilled that "Ave Maria" has been relegated to that genre called "Christmas Music."

Ave Maria is special to me. Very very special. Ave Maria was the reason I fell in love with Opera. I first heard Andre Bocelli's version of Ave Maria on his album "The Sacred Arias." This album was a birthday gift from my once-best-friend-forever on my 17th birthday. It was a tape. I vividly remember calling it a night on my birthday, tucking myself in with my Walkman. Ave Maria was the first track on this tape and the moment I heard it, I think I experienced divinity. It made my soul soar and made me cry. It made me want to be a better human being. I had honestly felt nothing like it before. Thats why it is so special to me and thats why hearing it in a yogurt shop made me wee bit sad. But then again, if somebody else, heard it on the radio and felt what I did, it was probably a good thing.

Listening to it again, this time in the voice of Dame Kiri, took me back to that time in my life where I discovered so much music. I discovered Opera, Western Classical and Classic Rock when I was around 16-17. Every new genre was a revelation. A celebration of how much life had to offer. I miss that sorely these days. I miss being driven by intellectual curiosity actually. I miss reading voraciously and learning about the world. And all because I have commercial and not intellectual pursuits. sigh.

I was one of the very few people who absolutely loved school. I loved learning, giving exams and then moving into a higher class to learn some more. I thrived in that environment and was quite sad when it all ended when I completed engineering. What I liked most that I could clearly see an evolution in my intellect from one class to the next. Once I started working, it became harder to gauge if I grew as a human being. True, I gained valuable experience, but I could not clearly determine if I had become smarter or more worldly. Thats why I clung on to my reading habit. I viewed it as the only thing that would save my intellect from being stunted. I honestly believe that the more you know, the more you learn, the more empathetic you become. The more humane you become. That is kind of a big deal no?

I know I'm meandering a bit but listening to a beautiful opera piece, a piece I first heard as a seventeen year old, made me realize that I've not experienced the joy of discovering something seminal in a long time. I miss reading books that changed my world view, or music that stopped me in my tracks. I hate that those moments are fewer and far between.

Yeah, being a grown up sucks!

Proximity

2010-12-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm blind-folded,

groping in the dark,

searching for you and

that you're right in front of me

teasing.

Breathe and make yourself known.

In the cradle of civilization

2010-11-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

So, the upshot of the things are that I'm in Cairo and blogging with all my blogger tabs in Arabic. I can just about make out the "Publish" button.

I'm here with my parents on a family vacation after about 5 years. Last time we went on a vacation, we got caught in a terrorist attack, this time hopefully, it will be less eventful.

Love Cairo so far. Managed to see the Egyptian Museum of Antiquities, the Pyramids of Giza and the sphinx! Climbing inside the great pyramid will easily count as one of my most memorable travel experiences! It was completely dark, unlit - felt like you were going into the nether region. We literally had to crawl forwards on all fours because of the low ceiling. You realize how much fun it must have been to be an archeologist discovering these pyramids.

I also loved the museum. The collection of egyptian antiquities is enormous. Scratch that. Ginormous. never seen anything quite like it. It was apparently setup in 1902 and was the first building in the world setup solely as a museum! walking up the marble stairs through the giant doors, one could imagine archeologists and egyptologists in the 1930s strutting around in excitement.

Our guide, was great and gave my family a full political download of Egypt as well as the history of egypt. Its hard to believe how exceedingly sophisticated and intelligent ancient egyptians were. Like ancient sites at Mohenjodaro and Harappa, Egypt displayed an extremely superior sense of architecture and civilization.

So my take away from the whole day was the while most people's ancestors where still swinging from the trees, these people where building pyramids. Incredible that!

Where Karma Fights Back

2010-11-16T09:10:00.001-08:00

Due to certain events in the recent past, namely my laptop hemorrhaging on me and that my passport is still stuck in a certain embassy when I'm due to fly out on Saturday, I've come to believe in the powers of Karma's retribution.

Aditya Jalan, my trivia team mate in college and the awesome one-third of team tonic, once told me, that I had the "The Karma of a loud kettle in Buddhist Monastery." That statement was epic and it stuck with me because all of a sudden the events in my life made sense. He also said that HIS karma was that of a "curtain in a bhuddist monastery." and abhishek's (the final -third of team tonic) karma was that "of a well fed cat in a bhuddist monastery." The latter is definitely true. He is certainly well fed.

But coming back to my tryst with karma, I'll tell you why that statement makes sense.

1. For some reason, in this life I'm obsessed with Kettles. I like the way it looks and feels. When I'm at a Williams -Sonoma store, I stand infront of the kettle section and sigh. Those kettles are beautiful. Infact, there is a huge design competition in the culinary world on designing Kettles. When Kettles whistle, I find it utterly adorable. I never knew why till J made that statement. then it hit me. I MUST have been a kettle!

2. I identify with Kettles. They are quirky, chirpy, do-gooders, boiling water and saving the world one tea cup at a time. They don't have any grand illusions about their purpose in life, but yes, they do know how to boil water and take that purpose seriously, whistling merrily. Yes, if you happen to be in a monastery, one will find the whistling annoying but generally Kettles are peaceable blokes. One could do with a lot worse.

I am exactly like that - definitely quirky, not terribly ambitious, and enthusiastic about doing things most people would likely scoff at and find mundane. For example, I like washing dishes. I find that activity most therapeutic. Most people I know, hate that activity but not me, i'm internally whistling while washing dishes. Seeee the connection??

so given that I truly believe that I was indeed a kettle in a monastery and that undoubtedly must have caused the buddhist monks some discomfiture, I figure, I'll do well to simmer down a bit and lie low in this life.

So dear karma, I'm sorry. Give me a break and I promise the whistling will stop.

True Love

2010-11-12T21:46:00.000-08:00

When I think about it,

I don't want dinners amidst candles

to walk down the aisle in a shower of confetti

even pictures of us as shiny happy people.

All I want is that when I look at you,

from across the room,

you get me.

Stuff that should be on my resume but is not..

2010-11-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

1. Expert "Fire Fighter"

I'm sooo used to dousing out fires and explosive situations in real life that this is second nature to me. When shit hits the fan, they come to me. Sort of like the character "Wolf" in Pulp Fiction, but without the Lamborghini. (on an aside, I've had to really restrain myself from putting this on my actual resume, its an impressive skill no?)

2. Ability to spot obscure music bands before they eventually make it big

I knew Alicia keys before she was Alicia Keys..apart from her mother ofcourse. Being a music snob, I listen to artists that are out of the mainstream and abandon them after they become mainstream by which time they would have sold out to the whims of music labels anyway! If you don't believe me hit up Janelle Monae and Lisa Hannigan. I'm confident both of them are the next big thing. And ofcourse, willow smith, by virtue of being will smith's daughter. She is the next big little thing. (heh!)

3. Expert *insert any aerobic fitness activity* Dancer

Be it zumba, step or cardio dance fitness sessions, I have the uncanny knack for picking up the routines after watching it just once. yes you heard me right. just once. One will ordinarily not appreciate this talent but come to one of these fitness sessions and when you flail you arms and legs in an uncoordinated manner and look stupid, hit me up! It takes supreme hand-eye coordination, an innate ability to catch rhythm and comprehension of the language of aerobic fitness sessions. What language you ask? you have to know what "single, single, double", "belly dancer", "grapevine" "booty shake" mean to respond quickly and not look like a dork.

4. Charmer Extraordinaire

I say this because I'm a people person and generally can connect with anybody.Yes anybody. Even a hippie in a farmer's market and the dude at the Indian store. The indian-store dude near our house is so taken in by me that he gives me either cream biscuits or a can of Canada Dry (I have no idea why!) everytime I buy something from him.

5. Fashion Connoisseur

I love fashion and I read an obscene amount of fashion blogs to know exactly whats on trend and whats not. I've also become something of an online shopping expert, as in, I want a particular item, lets say sequined skirts, I know which online portal to turn to. I don't have the budget but I yearn for the day when I will. May be I should go after Nina Garcia's job! (smacks head!)

Other notable mentions:

1. Can run 3 miles after eating a heavy burrito

2. Geography whiz - Knows the name of that obscure lake in central asia that looks like a blob.

3. Expert knowledge of African politics including dictators with hard-to-pronounce names

4. Read books by obscure Literature Nobel Prize winners. (Like Naguib Mahfouz. Yes he won. honest!)

5. Online Scrabble Champion - It actually involves a ton of strategy. ok may not a TON but still...

Sadly,

2010-11-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

Our love, my love

was strong and delicate.

Was.

Our love, my love

was loud and subtle.

Was.

Our love, my love

Was kind and harsh.

Was.

Now, it's like the fragrance

left behind, when the person is no longer there.

Still there but will fade eventually.

a balanced month

2010-10-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Dear October,

I hate to see you go. I hate to bid you goodbye. You are always the most funnest month of the year for me. Not only because my birthday features in this month, but also because you incorporate so many fun stuff like Halloween, Fall break and End of term parties. But, you being the month of Libra, also strive to balance it with non-fun stuff like Exams, Submission deadlines and interview dings. At the end of your month October, I look back at the crests and troughs and realize that regardless of the events themselves, you do however, keep it exciting.

First, there was my birthday! yay!! Although I had two exams on my birthday this year, I still had fun. I called a bunch of my friends to party with me afterwards. Inspite of having exams the next day, they came to wish me for my birthday. Some got balloons and others bought me drinks. I also got some lovely prezzies! the best part of birthdays no? This year my prezzies included a pair of sooper gorgeous pink heels, powder puff and stuff from bath & body works. At the end of it, I felt happy turning a year older. The best part of it though was the b'day luck - my exams turned out to be ok (I expected to get absolutely mauled given my inadequate preparation) and I got an interview invite (which I later turned down, long story) but still...

Then there was the Fall break which I spent in Seattle. Seattle is such a fun, quirky city. Its right up there as one of my favourite cities in the US. I love cities that have a distinct character. Cities that you adapt to rather than vise-versa. And since I come from a sea-faring family, I loved the salty scent of the ocean that permeates everywhere. There were hippies galore and bars which served a gazillion drinks. I'll always remember stumbling about downtown in a Fernet Branca induced happy daze. oh such good times! I'll also remember this hippie who sold paintings at the pikes place market who gave me a painting gratis because we both had a shared India connection. All he asked in return was a post card from wherever I travelled to next. This is what makes travel so much fun for me - meeting interesting people and having interesting conversations.

And finally, Halloween. You do end it with a bang, don't you October? I'm not so into this holiday as most others but hey, I'll never turn down an opportunity to wear weird outfits and partay!! This year I'm going as a "word-play" costume. Its rather stupid but has the right amount of stupidity to qualify as a Halloween costume.

So October, I'll have to wait for a whole year to meet you again. You're the month that ushers in the bitter cold gently. The month where the leaves are falling but where the sun still shines fat headedly in the sky. That's what I love about your weather - the lazy sunshine. Not so cold, but not so hot either. I'm glad I could still wear my summer outfits in your month. You were very kind to the tropical me.

You kept it real and made it fun. You run a very balanced show indeed!

Au revoir,

Hugs & Kisses,

Term 1: Hits & Misses

2010-10-23T15:57:00.001-07:00

Hits

1. Loved the courses I took - Managerial Accounting, Marketing of Innovations and French. Whether I did well in them is another matter altogether. I've decided to take up a host of "quant" courses each time, so much so that it looks like my concentration is going to be in Finance and Accounting. How on earth did this happen??

2. Mentoring FYs - Being a Career Fellow and TA was great fun! I gotta meet a lot of FYs and dish out recruiting and academic advice. Yes, I'm an awesome zen advice-giver!! They seem so sorted though! This time last year I was lost and barely getting by!

3. Keeping Fit - Despite it being hectic, managed to do the 3 mile Wa duke trail atleast twice every week. I could still do better but I definitely feel sort of fit which is a huge improvement over last year where I didn't seriously exercise till term 3.

4. Fall Fashion - Managed to dress better to school this fall. My fall wardrobe was a total hit as I got compliments almost everyday! I know this sounds shallow but my moods are influenced by the clothes I wear and so it is very important for me to dress well. My clothes really make me happy!

Misses

1. Recruiting - This blew up on my face as I was too selective in my approach. Compared to the internship search, definitely performed below par in full time recruiting. Sigh, I need to buck up. But you know what, I like my approach. I don't want to end up with a job, I want THE job. Its a huge risk and a long haul but I cannot work on something I'm not psyched about. so lets see. *fingers crossed*

2. Socializing - we had tons of dinners but not enough rad parties! hoping this will change in fall 2

3. Dating - Just not in the frame of mind to date. Its too much - balancing studies, recruiting and dating but there are times when I yearn for someone to hug and tell me its ok. Thats what I miss the most about not being in a relationship and the back rubs and not paying for dinners ..sigh!

4. Reading - I miss reading a good book, even a "management" book for that matter. I started reading Dan Ariely's new book - the upside of irrationality - dealing with "irrational" consumer behaviour. Its very well written and he is funny. but I can't seem to get past page 50 for some reason. If there is one reason I want to find a job quickly, it is to get back to my beloved reading. I feel incomplete without books. I miss the feeling of being wonder struck at every page, of drinking in beautifully composed sentences and wondering why I never thought of things that way. Reading made me feel smart, made me feel like I was growing as person - without it I feel stunted. My new resolve is to read atleast one book a term. Here's to wishful thinking!!

That was term 1 in essence - few hits and misses. Really hoping Fall 2 will end well. God willing!

Jazz > Finals

2010-10-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

been hit by a major case of 2nd year senioritis and so am being extremely lax about the impending finals on Monday.

I had decided to be extremely diligent over the weekend and spend every minute studying but things, sadly, haven't gone according to plan. First I woke up at 1 PM today (Massive Fail!!) as a result of end of term partying. 2nd, decided to go to Saladelia, my fav cafe, to study as there was afootball game today, which meant that there would be no parking at school. But at Saladelia, a Jazz band began playing live at 6PM and that brought all my studying to halt. I loved it! especially when they began to improvise on autumn leaves. aaah love Jazz.

So here I am, late on a saturday night desperately trying to salvage my finals. But its looking like a lost cause!

What is love?

2010-10-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

...don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more.....

remember that iconic song by Haddaway? remember? We were at a 2Y dinner today, about 20 of us, tucking into an awesome spread that my roommate made, and suddenly this song came on the system, and me a couple of others started singing this song and doing some sort of co-ordinated dance thingy. Fun! I felt like was transported back into the 90s. The best place to be methinks.

So about the dinner, it was a cozy evening and we were all catching up with each other and listening to Year 2 recruiting cautionary tales, when suddenly some FYs barged in drunk as hell. You see, in the same apartment complex, we were also having the "Around The World" Party - a bunch of 10 apartments, each representing a country and its party experience. As a FY last year, I did the country crawl and got hammered drinking sangrias, margaritas, limoncellos, wine, gin and tonic and ultimately, irish car bombs. The after effects weren't pretty but the party was sooper fun. This year though, my heart wasn't in it and I found that a lot of my fellow 2Ys were also giving this a miss.

We are growing up, my 2Y cohort. We are skipping the get-hammered-silly parties and focusing on small cozy dinners instead. Focusing on getting to know each other very well before the time ran out.

Oh well, getting back to the drunk FYs who barged in, we told them they had the wrong apartment and pointed them in the right direction. I, btw, ended up going to the apartment representing Iceland. It was themed like the smirnoff bar, lot of dry ice and white everywhere and they had the AC down to 40!! a good friend of mine was DJing there and played some awesome techno. Very Iceland indeed. I stayed there till the place started filling up with eager FYs looking to get hammered. Thats when I exited.

Sigh, I'm growing up aren't I?

Status Update

2010-10-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

In list form:

1. I got a speeding ticket today. Its going to burn a HUGE hole in my pocket. super ouch!

2. but considering I did earn a lot of money teaching accounting and reviewing resumes of FYs, it sort of compensates

3. So... good karma = bad karma. let this be a lesson! also DON'T ever speed.

4. Good friend of mine had a baby. Super cute and so happy. She is going to be the coolest mom ever!

5. Also, 2 exams on my birthday. again, super ouch!

6. Planning to go to the 2nd exam with a bottle of vodka (hey! its my birthday!). My logic - open book, open notes and open bar

7. heh!

8. My schedule for this term is AWESOME. No classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays

9. but I do get sooper effed on Tuesdays and Fridays with back to back classes.

10. not so heh

11. Being extremely languid in my job search. Very bad that.

12. but on the flipside, am making a lot of friends in my class and getting to know a lot of new people.

13. Did trivia at Dains after ages. Did poorly in terms of scores. Poorly by my standards. We beat the undergrad upstarts but still poor

14. Hurts as much as getting a speeding ticket.

15. Actually scratch that. Speeding ticket hurts more. definitely.

16. actually. It depends..

17. New friends also include undergrads from French class.

18. Undergrads are definitely channeling their inner gunner self at the aforementioned French Class.

19. Its sorta annoying but understandable.

20. Reminds me of..well..me

21. They also abuse the use of exclamation marks in their emails/texts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22. Heh!

23. This is fun!!!!!!

24. ok. will stop.

25. Told you - annoying!

26. Its late and I'm in the mood to quote shakespeare

27. "When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions." - (Hamlet Quote Act IV, Scene V).

28. "As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport" - King Lear

29. Oh, I'm such a drama queen. But an eloquent drama queen, C'est ne pas?

30. Au revoir world!

I'm a PC

2010-10-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

Just introduced this man to an audience of 500, including the Deans of all grad schools at Duke. Had lunch with him as well. The geek in me is doing major cartwheels!

Campout Crazy!

2010-10-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, I love me some campout!

Its seriously the coolest thing about being a grad student at duke. Campout is a 40 hour sleep-deprivation exercise to see if you really are a serious fan of Duke Basketball and if you do succeed in making it through the weekend - Fri Night to Sun Morning, you do get to win season tickets for all of Duke's home games.

I did it last year and did not sleep a wink over the entire 40 hours. I still remember the sigh of relief and the rush of adrenaline when the GPSC campout committee announced on Sunday morning that the Campout was over and that we - the remaining intrepid fans - had successfully completed campout! Finishing campout is something I'll always be proud about considering I like sleep so much! I'll also cherish it because it made me love Duke Basketball all the more.

I didn't do it this year because of the weather and I was worried about falling ill but I still did go to all the parties and participated in on the general madness. Campout has the best array of parties and what makes it super awesome is the outdoor setting, the smell of barbeque and the plethora of sounds that hit you. Every club literally has an RV area, blasting music.

The most intense party rivalry is between the Latin American Club and the South Asian Club -Indus. I'm happy to say that this time Indus owned the campout party scene although my ILE teamate, who DJ'ed the Latin American party, did a super job in playing some BRILIANT techno music. I love techno music when it comes to clubbing and the DJing that my buddy did was soo top notch, that I felt like was at a club in amsterdam.

Campout is also a great way to get introduced to a plethora of drinking games like Flip Cup, Beer Pong and Slapping the bag. I got hammered at last year's campout although my beer pong abilities improved exponentially. This time though I went easy on the drinking as I had to drive back.

I love the way campout brings us all together. We have this survivor syndrome, where a kinship is built on surving campout. It is not for the faint of heart, it separates the fans from the non-fans. What I like best about campout are those 4am conversations. Desperate to not fall asleep, you end up talking to random people and have the most discerning of conversations. Last time, I remember, talking about Middle East Politics with a Jordanian Grad student.

To see what campout is about, check out this video, but to experience it, you have to be at Duke. GO DUKE!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLQo_aPTSdE

Monsoon dreaming

2010-09-29T16:37:00.001-07:00

The rains in Durham over the past few days have made me crave for the Monsoons, which is strange because I hate rains. I hate what it comes with, atleast in my associations - Traffic Snarls, Power cuts, Gloom..you get the drift. I've never been able to see the rains like most people I know do - liberating, enchanting and hunger inducing.

But weirdly enough, when it started raining incessantly in Durham, in the last few days - it had me craving for that monsoon feeling. I can't define it but its the anticipation of the Monsoons, the effect it has, after a scorching summer. I always looked forward to the first day of the Monsoons. That day in the first week of June, when all of a sudden the earth would smell fantastic, the weather would turn balmy and within moments, the torrent and the awesome force of the Monsoon would pour down.

I don't like rain but I can look at it for hours and catch up with my thoughts. Thats why I like the Monsoons of Mangalore. Its the time to "ponder" during the rains as my grandma put it. She would sit in the courtyard, legs stretched and crossed, keep herself occupied with splitting peas and just watch the rains. Occasionally, she would let slip something like "I once saved a drowning man, when the river flooded."

The Monsoons in the coast are fierce. It would rain continuously for days without respite. The sea would become much fiercer and the people more vary but tranquil. I remember my family was always concerned about losing boats and friends during the season. Since our ancestral house was practically on the beach, my family would get pretty grim fearing the worst. But when it rained, there was nothing one could do but ponder.

Considering how busy I am, I miss that luxury of pondering and just thinking about things instead of being swept away by this tide called B-school, which requires you to act rather than ponder. I miss that.

Dinner was nice

2010-09-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

You sit there before me,

your eyes a-twinkle,

and the conversation meanders beautifully,

with good food and drinks galore,

But I sit there, thinking,

You and I are never going to be a whole.

Its sad really.

responder a la questions

2010-09-17T21:02:00.000-07:00

Questions I ask myself these days, for instance:

1. Why, as a 2nd year, I'm busier than ever?

Really, why? I thought I'd huffed and puffed and paid my dues in first year and that the 2nd year would be about lounging in the Fox centre or sipping wine by the WaDuke golf course. But no such luck. As usual I committed to more than I could handle and am now going through school in a bleary, sleep deprived daze.

2. I'm sorry, did you opt for French?? Everyday??

In a rush of madness, one that comes with hanging out with some crazy friends, I decided that B-school wasn't challenging enough and that I should opt to learn a new language - in this case French. I'm now signed up for an intro French Course that goes on till December, everyday. I mean EVERYDAY. with Homework!!

I'm actually enjoying this course though. I've always wanted to be fluent in French and this course is perfect to get me there. Although its a ton of work, its a pleasant departure from B-school case mode. Also, it helps me see quite a bit of the university, especially the other graduate schools and the undergrad campus. Duke has a whimsical quality that I absolutely adore. The architecture is gothic and makes you feel like you're in a weird fairy tale. The walk to the Romance Language institute in the morning, taking in the sights of the campus and the crisp morning air, sets me up nicely for the rest of the day. Its a good thing

3. I'm sorry, YOU are a mentor??

Thats the thing about being a 2nd year at Duke. You get thrust with a ton of responsibilities and part of it is mentoring FYs and getting them through their recruiting process. So you help them through their career goals, resumes etc. Its a great way to get to know FYs and give back to the community but its a lot of work. Sigh, and with classes and recruiting and club stuff, things get mighty hectic. I'm also tutoring and so besides concentrating on my current classes, I'm also brushing up on an advanced accounting to teach some FYs. I love accounting and thats why I elected to do it but where's the time. really??

4. Where's the party tonight??

Although, 2nd year is hectic, the party doesn't stop. I think our class has gotten a lot closer. Instead of wild, crazy, parties, I find myself in close gatherings, with good food and wine and sometime even fondue, having deep discussions. Although I must add, I do still enjoy the occasional mindless partying. Campout is coming in 2 weeks and I'm sooper excited about it. There is no feeling the world that captures the essence of campout. Different clubs play their own music all night long, so you find yourself dancing all night to Latin, Indian and Euro tracks. Can't wait for it!!

I like my classes, my activities and all the stuff thats happening around me. I'm not getting my full quota of forty winks but I definitely like being back in school!

Sun kissed skin so hot will melt your popsicle...

2010-08-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

So here I am, back in good ol' Durham, having finished with the internship. I didn't realize how much I missed D-town's lazy insouciance till I got here. Its a town that lets you be unlike Big cities, where they almost seem to chastise you for being unproductive.

So as usual I'm concerned with moving duties these days. This is like the 9th time I've moved in the last 6 years. the last year alone saw me move around 3 times. I'm a moving expert now. I know how to pack things efficiently and neatly with everything labelled and all. Infact the movers were impressed with my organized ways - they just had to move 9 boxes for me unlike moving zillion dubious plastic bags with other people. But I have to say that despite moving so many times, I still continue to amass material things. I still continue to make every attempt to grow roots and not live out of a suitcase.

This was vehemently proved when I saw all my stuff. My shoes and my clothes and my replica ship collection. Yes, thats my new hobby - assembling 17th century miniature replica ships. There is something about medieval ships that flips me out. I mean that. I'm rooted to the place and will not move until I can have it. I can spend hours putting together the whole things with all its sails and masts and err.. Moving on to to my other passion - My shoes..ahh my shoes... I dote upon them as mothers dote on their babies and given this motherly pride, I'm not content with shoving them in a box and storing them in an attic. I need a separate closet for them and Thats my new dilemma - how do I make space for all my babies. Actually I have a ton of other dilemmas but this is the one that has a delicious possibility of working out. I am a shoe fiend but I'm not a brand conscious shoe-fiend. Thats what makes me a true shoe fiend because I adore my street chappals from commercial street, bangalore just as I do my 6 inch heels.

My other splurge has been a burgundy sunshine chair. I love it! Its perfect for curling in, with a good book in tow and that my friends, is the bestest feeling the world. Since I have time on my hands, I'm really going to get my space upto a cozy level compared to my last apartment which was spartan at best. And as this is 2nd year, maniacal photo blogging will follow - so watch this space.

Apart from moving, I'm also prone to sitting in my favourite greek cafe Saladelia and watching the world go by. They always play jazz and the food is magnificently light and fresh, sometimes oozing with feta cheese or the most amazing freshly made hummus. Since I have time, I read the NYT through and through and spend hours rather than just skim through it. I have developed a fond affection for its opinion column. They make me think and ponder long after I've read them. Bliss! Also, my daily ritual is to go through a plethora of fashion blogs. I'm addicted to Mrs-o.org - a style blog dedicated to Michelle Obama's style.

I know when school starts I'll be consumed with issues of grave consequence like recruiting. I know I'll be swimming in a tenuous world of fierce competition and grappling with issues of self doubt. I know there will be days in the future where dark clouds will loom, so allow me to revel in the sunshine and insouciance. Allow me to be childish and brazen. For a brief while atleast.

American Revelations

2010-07-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

Discovering a new country is one the most exciting journeys that one can undertake. The fun part is developing habits one never had but cannot live without now. These are a few of my favorite things

1. Online Shopping: I'm a compulsive shopper by nature so this should not come as any surprise. the day I learned my dress size, I got hooked to online shopping and started receiving clothes by the droves. two things that I love about online shopping is 1. the larger inventory and 2. the return policy. I could order clothes and return them at the store if I didn't like it. My only other online shopping experience prior to this was ordering books on Amazon. The nerd me is understandably worried by the clothes-horse me.

2. Driving: I never drove before coming here so driving on the "wrong side" of the road was not a problem. What was a problem was the fact that everybody here followed traffic rules religiously. People actually navigated by reading road signs. Who does that I asked?? I was politely told not to display such naivete at my driving test. Which was another proud moment for me considering that in India I got a driving license without ummm driving. The officer who sat beside me at my driving test told me that I drove too cautiously and that I should ummm go easy on the brakes. He still gave me my license even though his nose almost touched the windshield when I braked out of sheer nerves

3. Basketball: I've become crazed basketball fan thanks to Duke's NCAA Championship team. So much so that I even followed the 2010 NBA draft . I know the rules, I know some awesome cheers to heckle the opposition and the refree (eg: I'm Blind, I'm deaf, I wanna be a ref)...err you get the drift. I actually prefer basketball over cricket because its much faster and gets over in 90 minutes so the ratio of Emotion Invested Vs Time is much higher in Basket Ball especially when your team loses. You know in 90 minutes and get over it. As an aside I used a ratio to compare Basketball and Cricket. The nerd me is understandably worried by the MBA me.

4. Obscure Coffee Choices: Before coming here nobody told me to get up to speed on my coffee choices. Its extremely important to have your coffee choice down pat. The more complicated the better and cooler. Also, if you don't have an overtly complicated coffee choice like "Double shot, non fat, decaf, no sugar, free trade, organic, grande Latte" you will be looked at strangely by those good folks at Starbucks.

5. Cardio Dancing: I was always a gym nerd but discovering Zumba & cardio dancing took it to another level. These classes are a lot of fun and you end up learning a LOT of dance moves which come in handy for those B-school parties. You also end up doing strange things like doing salsa for a bhangra song. To quote a popular refrain " Yes you can!" My indian self wanted to protest this anomaly. I wanted to tell all the peeps that this was wrong. An insult to two great culture but then the dance instructor yelled "Booty, Booty, Booty" - a cue for all of us to shake it and sigh I just gave up and "bootied" instead. The choices one is faced with!

6. Student Discount: As a student, largely in debt and a shopping addiction, this is something I'd want to be in School forever for. You get student discount in the oddest of places. For car washes, gym memberships, for theater, music recitals..you curiously never get discounts on things that you actually need as students like books for example or coffee or food. I try my luck anyway. I'll shamelessly ask any establishment if they offered student discounts. Thats how I got $2 off for car wash.

I could go on but here's the rest of the list in bullet points:

1. Food network (which is not good considering I watch it eating a bland salad)

2. Tailgating (getting drunk before a game..like a pre-game party)

3. Barbecues

4. Chipotle Sauce (I dive towards it like an Indian in a mexican Restaurant)

5. Hulu (I dread the day they go subcription based)

6. Biscuit, Scramled Eggs & hash browns at waffle house

..aaah waffle house, I think I'd better stop.

1 year in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave

2010-06-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

A significant enough milestone to warrant a post methinks.

I want to sound like those immigrants in a Jhumpa Lahiri book right now and muse about how I came here with nothing but thats not exactly true though. I came here with 3 suitcases - 69 Kgs - thanks to the generosity of Jet Airways which recognized my student disposition and fleeced me accordingly. And contrary to all those immigrants in Ms. Lahiri's books who went on to do well for themselves, (that is, if you consider becoming a tenured professor at University of Oregon or wherever, doing well for yourself) I continue to descend faster into student loan debt than those scary roller coasters at Disney World. Yes, a massive negative. So judging by conventional FOB (Fresh Of the Boat) standards, you might be tempted to categorize my one year as a massive "FAIL" but that too is not exactly true though.

I think I've had a change of heart about America. Let me explain. When I first came here on a work trip, I left begging God not to EVER send me on a foreign trip again. Knowing how all of us clamour for foreign trips and assignments, you must guess that my trip was awful. It was not awful. It was terrible and traumatic and Emotional scar inducing. I got ripped off by a cab driver to the tune of $150 (my fault entirely) and lost my luggage (not my fault). I wept on the sidewalk of NY and watched people pass me by without so much as a cold stare. I never wanted to return to such a cold country I declared. I must admit that I was deeply injured that a NY cabbie duped me. But that incident not withstanding, I found myself opening the door of an empty house in North Carolina this time last year, not half ready to meet the rigours of a demanding MBA program. I was out of a long term relationship and I felt alone and messed up.

I reconstructed my life gradually and it must be said America made it easy for me. I had a bank account, phone, a furnished house and a car in less than ten days. Nowhere in the world would I have been able to grow some roots so quickly and so easily. My 3 suitcases grew to fill up an entire closet and I have, with great alacrity, amassed a shoe collection which at last count was 42 pairs (alarming hint on where my loans are going). Tucked away in my own bubble, America gave me the space and time to introspect about my life. Space that would not be possible in any other place. I eventually came out of my bubble and was embraced by the extrovert population of this country. The people I've met and the experiences I have had have made me more social and extroverted.I like the fact that I can start a random conversation with anybody here something I don't do back home. I once got an education on Japan by a waitress at my favourite cafe. It also made me more independent and self reliant. I would have also added "polite" but I was always polite FYI.

After a year, I feel enriched and different. Thats when you know you've changed. Your outlook on life, people and experiences are no longer black and white. For that alone, thank you America.

Crazie for life

2010-05-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

(*an article I previously wrote for the Fuqua Times*)
To say my family is sports mad would be an understatement. Sports was not an indulgence. It was a way of life. We, my brother and I, learnt to swim before we could spell and shot hoops at 7am in the mornings during summer holidays while all other kids got to sleep an extra hour. So, yes, we felt deeply about our sports.

Naturally, our television was dominated by sports. My fondest family memories, in fact, were watching important games with my brother and Dad. I’ve watched every world cup football final with them since 1987. I still remember watching my brother jump with joy when France beat Brazil in 1998. My dad was bitter because Brazil was his team. And I watched dispassionately. That was the problem for me. I never really felt for any team. I supported the teams that my brother and dad supported because it seemed incongruous not to do so. So while my brother moped for days when his team lost, I never quite reached the depths of despair like he did. Oddly enough I envied him. I envied him for the connection that he had with his team. For finding that deep, inexplicable bond that ties an individual to a team, regardless of swings in fortunes. I, of course, did not have such a connection with any team till I discovered Duke basketball.

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I honestly knew nothing about Duke Basketball till my Student Visa Interview in May of last year. I remember prepping for the interview for all possible questions the consulate could ask me – Why MBA, What plans after? etc. So imagine my surprise when the first question I was asked was “Are you a Basketball fan?” Stumped, I mumbled something about vaguely following the Chicago Bulls. The consulate officer then proceeded to educate me on Duke and its history with Basketball. Even after school began, it wasn’t until campout that I got a sense of how important Basketball was to the heritage of the school. On campout Sunday, after spending over 36 hours sleep deprived, hung over, without having won a ticket and facing an impending Stats quiz, I vowed to watch at least one basketball game at Cameron.

My first game at Cameron happened due to an impulse decision. A friend and I decided to “walk up” to the Long Beach State game on December 29. We stood in line, amidst freezing conditions (hey, I’m Indian, if it isn’t sunny it’s ALWAYS freezing for me) and hoped to make it into Cameron. We were allowed in after waiting for an hour and I still remember the moment I first entered the arena. The atmosphere inside was pulsating to say the least. Within moments I got up to speed with all the cheers and was ready to harass any opposition team as a true Cameron Crazie would. I fell in love with Basketball during that game. The fast pace and frenetic energy made it a keeper in my books. But most of all, it was the team – watching them execute strategic maneuvers was like watching sublime poetry in motion. I was hooked to say the least.

I made it a point from then on to follow every game. I was a Cameron Crazie even when I watched the game on TV. I held my hand up when free throws were attempted and yelled “whoosh” if it went in. If Brian Zoubeck made a save, I would twist my fingers in to a “Z”, even if I was watching the game at the airport (NCAA – Duke Vs Cal). When we lost to Georgetown, I was miffed for days. When I met Duke Haters (of which there are plenty – even as far flung as Leuven, Belgium) I defended our team to the core. That’s when I realized that I had begun to care. That’s when I realized what my brother, a true fan went through – to stick by your team, to stay loyal despite the whims and fancies of fortuna.

During the NCAA final with 13 secs to go, when Butler had the possession and it looked like they would sneak past our score, I remember my heart sinking. I remember telling myself that I would celebrate our team even if we lost and would be an even fiercer fan the coming year. We won that game and I wept tears of joy. It was surreal to say the least. I called up the older sibling, who had no idea about what the NCAA meant, but understood the sentiment perfectly. That’s when I realized I had finally found MY team, my connection. To paraphrase Lord Tennyson a bit here, teams may come and teams may go, but I’m a Crazie Forever!!

'nuf said

2010-04-08T20:34:00.001-07:00

March Madness

2010-03-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

A quick run down on March, my favourite month this year.

First, went to Belgium and Netherlands for spring break to visit my best friend. Loved every minute of it and was practically crying on landing back at JFK. I will write a detailed post on my trip sometime later but I'm still in the throes of severe Europe Sickness. I miss Brussels and Amsterdam. The people, the food, the coffee, the music and ofcourse the fashion! I raided H&M in brussels and now when I visit stores here, a lil part of me dies. I miss saying "Bonjour" and "Sil Vouz Plait." I miss wandering around ancient medieval cities with medieval city squares, munching on croissants and coffee. And most of all, I miss Amrits - talking to her and sounding ideas off her. her sarcastic humour and wit. Hopefully, I'll get to see her real soon :)

Second, although I miss Europe, I love the classes I've taken this term. I'm excited about learning rather than worry about things like internships and jobs. This past week we also had the Blue Devil weekend for the Admits of 2012 class, which was also super fun. Because of my relatively light course load, I'm also making time for the gym and indulging in fun stuff like salsa and cardio dancing ;) The weather in Durham is awesome. Its bright and sunny, and all the flowers are in full bloom and so I run a 3 mile trail every alternate day. I love this trail because its weaves through a lake, has numerous bridges and undulates. Love the smell of fresh pine as I run. Yay for spring!!

Third, Duke Basketball!!! Honest to God, I love this Team. They won a tough game against Baylor today and we had another game on Friday, against Purdue. We all gather in bars to watch the game and cheer for the team. Good times, lot of backslapping, swearing and High Five-ing.We had a tough game today and I almost died with the tension. It was like watching the Indian Cricket team of 1990s. I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I like Basketball more than Cricket! Nothing gets me pacing like an animal, than watching Duke Play. This will always be MY team! Go Duke!!

Resuming Regular Programming....

2010-03-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

I re-read my last post on this blog and it boy,oh boy, it was positively pathetic. I sit here now at the end of another term here at B-school and I'm in a different frame of mind altogether.

Term 2 (October, November & December) was crazy and unbelievably stressful because of classes, internship recruiting and the general mind fuck that I was going through. Term 3 was MUCH better. I got to take courses I loved, recruiting turned out ok, and I came out of the woodworks to become a veritable social butterfly.

I loved Term 3. First there was the unbelievable improv class. I had so much fun and it reaaally helped me become more spontaneous and embrace the moment. My class was unbelievably hilarious and we did skits such as the ones on "Whose line is it anyway?" and boy, did we bring the house down or what. Then there were the courses. We got to take electives this term and I took really interesting classes that had real world practical applications. For instance, I'm doing some research for a social media marketing firm which has me super kicked even though its a lot of fun. I loved my operations class as well. the Prof was really funny and made a mundane course fun.

Term 3 also meant watching a lot of Basketball games. Duke has a legendary basketball team and I've become a HUUUGE basketball afficianado. I got hooked when I first saw our Blue Devils play inside Cameron Indoor stadium. The atmosphere was unbelievable and the duke fans are so rowdy that its tough to NOT get hooked. I love our team, our cheers and our history and I seriously hope we make it big in NCAA.

Ok enough sports. The thing I love the most about B-school here at Duke is how social it is. Numerous parties and numerous opportunities to get know people I go to school with. I made it a point to go out atleast 3 nights a week this term and even though my studying took a hit, I got to know a lot of my classmates really well.

Although I'm sad term 3 is over, there is so much to look forward to in term 4 in terms of courses, activities and life. For now though, its spring break and I can't wait to see my best friend since school. Looking forward to waffles, Chocolates and home-brewed beer :)

vingt six

2009-10-28T20:36:00.001-07:00

Its term two in B-school and I just turned 26 and all this together has one contemplating existential-type things such as - what am I doing with my life? is it all worth it? why am I single, 26 and in B-school...you get the drift..

Contrary to expectations, being freshly single at B-school is not a very good thing. Firstly, being freshly single requires you to go through a sort of relationship rehab where you crawl into your corner and purge yourself of all the baggage and B-school by its very nature of habitual networking doesn't let you do that. Secondly, considering the average age at my school is 29, the pool of single men is extremeeeely limited. (as an aside, notice how I'm analyzing my single status?? Its all those cases I tell you!)

But jokes aside..its painful having to take all the school stress, internship stress and the stress of beating yourself up for a failed relationship. All of which leaves me wondering what my achievement in life is. I'm ALONE at 26 and thats the painful truth and its scary.

Being in a relationship spoils you. The "you" is obliterated and you start thinking like a team. Your experiences become "our" experiences and your decision becomes "our" decision. You stop thinking independently and every thought is shared. That's what hurts when you are single again. You have no one to turn to, no one to talk to and no one to whom you can vent out to without being judged. Its like being a unable to walk without crutches and falling.

Relationships may end but the emotional baggage doesn't. Till you purge it you can never really leave it behind and thats why all I want to do is hide and be away from the world. I want to rediscover being alone with myself again, to rediscover my own undistilled thoughts and finally come to a place where being alone is not so bad.

So till then, au revoir

Crazy, si si

2009-09-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

This blog needs a defibrillator...considering I have to resurrect it every few months. I feel sorry for my blog considering its closest to my heart....enough sentiment already!

The upshot of things are that they are crazy and hectic and fun ..all at once. I hardly get time to breathe during the week, so considering that I'm rather happy with the way this weekend turned out. Very productive study wise but also managed to sneak in some treats in the manner of reading 2 chapters of India after Gandhi (Best book ever, you HAVE to read it), 1 episode of project runway and 2 of my favourite music albums - The miseducation of lauryn hill and lovers rock...quite good don't you think?

I know there are many of you out there applying for B-schools this season and things can get quite anxious. There are many who might be questioning the feasibility of studying in a foreign B-school. I would like to tell you that there is nothing quite like studying in an alien environment. The diversity in schools here is ginormous and you sometimes won't believe the conversations you end up having. That aside, my only advise would be to figure out your goal in life and then assess if studying in a US B-school will help you achieve that.

Last weekend was quite fun. It was campout time, where all of us grad students camped out for 36 hours for Duke Basketball tickets. The beauty of campout is that you have to stay awake the whole time because you have to make to 22 check-ins during the course of those 36 hours. If you miss a check -in you're out of the race for season tickets. I made it through campout and its something I'm most proud about. I'm tough y'all!! apart from that it was brilliant fun...all night dancing and made dashes to the check-in point. I did get tickets so it was all worth while in the end

As usual I miss home. I can't help it. There are times I feel like calling my peeps and realize that there is a time difference..thats what I miss and I feel like I have to rebuild myself here. It feels odd, it feels awkward and a lot of work but sometimes it can be fun

Legal Alien

2009-08-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

I feel sorry that I don't update this dead space called my blog often. I started out this blog because i love to write and this blog gave me my creative outlet. My only excuse is that life has been rather tumultous the last few months and was not condusive to blogging.

The upshot of things is that I now find myself in a US B-school. Yes, its hard to imagine that I'm finally here and not playing solitaire in my cubicle in Pune, although I must confess that I already yearn for my solitaire freedom and end of month pay checks.

Adapting to a new life in a new country is not easy though and every few minutes the same thought comes back to "This is NOT india". It feels odd to be indentified by only your Passport and to be told to value your I-20 dearly and you wonder how your life came to be attached to this otherwise mundane documentation. The flip side is that little things like going to the super market turn into a big adventure although, I do miss strutting around like I own the place in "my" country.

There are so many experiences that I want to encapsulate. Going back to school feels awesome. Waking up every morning, feeling like your life is on track is the best feeling ever and I wish I could capture every minute of this experience.

I have ofcourse made notes of my experiences so far here. So if you are an aspiring US Grad student, the following is worth noting:

1. Make sure you pick a good airline to come to this country because you don't want to take 72 hours to get here and if on the flight the food trolley hits your knee and makes you scream in agony, make sure you sue the airline or ask for complimentary return tickets to india, redeemable, preferably by 2015 (Yes, take what you can get)

2. Grad student life requires you to get accustomed to an impoverished lifestyle. The sooner you realize that you cannot afford Jimmy Choos or even $20 pizza, the better your transition

3. Get ready to carry your passport everywhere - to get a bank account, to get a phone connection, to buy a car, to buy wine and even to buy ciagarettes. Ofcourse this makes you paranoid about losing your passport (God Forbid!) and don't be surprised if this becomes your favourite recurring nightmare

4. If you live in a city where there is no transport system then buying a car becomes imperative. Yes you WILL miss autos in this country and even, dare I say it, the impugnity of auto drivers

5. Buying a car is not easy because of supply and demand issues. If you live in a university town teeming with grad students but with very cars around to buy, you will find yourself checking craigslist feverishly, desperately calling potential car owners and even praying to the entire pantheon of Hindu deties to get you that chosen car. You will leap at the mention of a Honda Civic that has done 100K+ miles and then feel your heart sink when its out of your budget. Yeah get used to that heart break and again Take what you can get

6. If you have never been to one, the best part of the settling in process is that first trip to walmart. Don't for the love of god fall in love with it. It goes against our impoverished ethos. You will walk down the aisles and want to buy everything in sight. Don't buy chocolate milk or hazelnut coffee creamer or peaches or super sized Tostitos or side tables or 32 pack diet coke or a printer/caner/copier or a mini safe that you dont need. Don't Walmart. Period

7. After settling in finally, a thought might occur to you to actually visit the School. It is a good thought and should have been number one on the agenda had you not had transportation issues. You will gawk at your surroundings and wonder how you made it here. You will wonder if you are an admission mistake and that thought won't leave even when you start classes. You will however make peace with how mediocre your own accomplishments are when compared to the rest of your class

8.As a grad student in the US, Facebook updates and photo uploading will assume a great siginificance in your life. You ofcourse have to drill home the fact that you are indeed a grad student in the US. Be sure to take that camera even to class because you never know when a facebook moment will come by. As student life involves tons of partying, make sure you know the night mode settings on your camera. You don't want to take a gazillion photos and realize that not one is Facebook-able

9. As a student you will do silly things enthusiastically (which is rather alarming) like taking part in a tricycle race for instance, with your entire batch egging you on. This act will be recorded for posterity thanks to Facebook Photos, after which you'll be able to answer the question "The Biggest mistake of my life" quite honestly

10. The best part of being a grad student is the diversity that you'll encounter. You'll bump into students from every conceivable country. Don't fall prey to country stereo types. Don't for the love of God tell a Jamaican that you "Absolutely, Love Love love LOVE LURVE" Bob Marley or an italian that you "Saw the Godfather a thousand times" There is a good chance he/she will never speak to you again

11. Your accent, grammar and intonation will change and you will punctuate every sentence with "Totally" "Absolutely" and "Awesomely"( which is not even a word..) and other such attempts at fitting in

12. You will need to get used to time difference with India. You will forget that Sunday Night 7PM for you is actually Monday Morning 5:30 AM for your folks. You will get yelled at and they will ofcourse threaten to stop transferring money to you

Sigh...there are so many experiences...will definitely come up with more updates on Grad Life 101.

The thing I miss most are my loved ones. I miss the fact that they are so far away and that they can't see me in my new setting. I miss my old life which had certainty and riotous colours about it. On somedays I feel like being back in that lovely chaos,under a sun that dazzled and teeming with wonderous possibilities. Then I open my eyes and know that I'm here....

Guilty!

2009-05-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

(Let me cheat and post a poem I wrote in college...earned me a place on the editorial board in the first year!)

Guilty!
Yes , your honour, I killed her, I killed my wife,
Quite simple really, I used her own kitchen knife,
I find that funny don’t you?,
What’s the matter? I swear its all true.
You see that knife was a present, it was given to us,
At our wedding I think, or may be it was Christmas.
I suppose you’d all want to know why,
Hold on judge, methinks that woman there, could do with a good cry.
I Had had a bad day, you see I was fired,
And she refused to make tea,,I got angry,,, guess I was a wee tired,
Anyhow, “ make it yerself” she bellowed, “you can can’t you?”
She had to die judge,by god , The woman was cuckoo!,
I drove the knife through her heart, I’m sure she suffered no pain,
Why, look you all, I know what you think, you think I’m insane!
Kind of like officer Brady, he was aghast at what I had done,
He was eating doughnuts, he really should have offered me one!
Coming back to where I was, you ought not to let me me digress,
I cleaned all the blood and gore, for I detest making a mess,
I left her on the kitchen floor, I left her lyin’ there,
Made me tea ofcourse and drank it without a care,
I then walked to the station, I had no intention of getting away,
I was too weary to run, not after such a rough day!
I told the officer, I committed a crime, told him I killed her,
But he wouldn’t believe me, “you ‘fessin to murder?”
That’s all your honour, it was just a simple row,And if you have no further questions, I’d like to step down now

Do saal baad

2009-04-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

I don't celebrate anniversaries in general. I do remember them but I'm generally very meh about such things. But in March this year, I completed 2 years in Pune and this made me reflect on the person that I'd become. I thought about the whimsical decision that I had made in March 2007, to move out of Bangalore - My Home, Cocoon and sanctuary - after 24 years to a place where I didn't know anyone. I went back to day I arrived in Pune for the first time. With my entire life contained 2 large bags, in a comfortable but alien company guesthouse house and contemplating the future. Would I like it Here? and what if this was a bad decision? what if I had to move back to Bangalore within a month with my tail and bag between my legs? I look back at that memory and think about all my experiences here and I'm happy I made that decision to live on my own. It has helped me grow in ways that I cannot begin to articulate. Suffice to say that the before and after is clearly distinguishable

I still remember the incident that made me take the radical step of moving out of Bangalore. it was the New York incident. I had just been duped by a NY cabbie of $160 for a 30 minute ride. I couldn't believe I was capable of being duped. I, who had topped Theory of Machines 2 in a class of 100 boys no less. I remember bawling on the streets of Manhattan afterwards in humiliation, anger and frustration. I remember roaming the streets with tears streaming down, fearful of everything and wondering how I'd gotten to be this wimp. After that I resolved to toughen up and get my edge back. When a job offer from Pune, I realized that this was it. This is what I needed to become a street smart, confident person and to grow from the over protected, insular, wimp that I'd become.

It was tough at first. I didn't understand the language or the culture. I remember sitting in meetings where all present spoke in Marathi and I, the one who was responsible for the action items, looked on like I was on the sets of Dumb and Dumber - with a very big EH? written on my face. I gradually learnt to understand the language and the people, to an extent now, where I actually feel quite at home here. I have learnt so much from this experience that I feel a need to articulate a few aspects that have changed in me.

It taught me to make friends. In Bangalore, I lived in my own little insular bubble, with my won little coterie of friends and we all lived happily. I didn't feel the need to connect with other people. When I came here, I had no choice but to connect and make friends fast. I learnt to reach out to people and open myself to them. I moved out of my intellectual circle and found other utterly interesting people who didn't read The Economist (Which in my earlier avataar was the prerequisite for any friendship with me). Thankfully My job in Pune required me to work with people at all levels - From the support staff in logistics to the top management. It required me to adapt to people at every level and I found myself loving every human interaction I was having. I can actually call myself an extrovert now. I appreciate people a lot more and I'm not an intellectual snob anymore and that's a good thing.

It taught me to fix things. Yes. I have become the champion fixer. I used to freak out earlier when appliances and stuff popped. Now, I have an air of nonchalance when things break down. I stop blaming the universe for this malfunction and get around to fixing things. The TV in our apartment conked recently and I would have FREAKED out earlier considering I'm the child of the networks. But I was so hum about the whole thing. I made a few calls. Found the TV repair guy. Carted the TV to him in a rickety auto. Got the thing fixed in 2 hours (attended gym in the interim) and carted it right back, to a point where the Roomate went "You Fixed it already?? wow!!". I'm so zen these days that I didn't even throw the remote on her face then for her sheer inability to be helpful around the house. My pre-2007 self would not have shunned violence. I'll tell you that. Violence brings me to my next point...

It has made me tough. I mean tough like a pit bull. Infact when I was negotiating with a vendor once, a business head asked me to join his sales group because he thought my aggressiveness would be useful in a sales role. All though I'm still not as street smart as I want to be I know that I'm not a wimp any more. I can fend for myself in any situation.

Most of all, this experience has helped me quell the fear of the unknown in me. I'm not afraid of chasing wild whims and fancies any more. I know I have it in me to face any situation that life puts me in and I may not come out obviously triumphant, in a blaze of glory but I do know that I will have the courage to face it. For that alone, Thank You Pune

A letter to my Hero

2009-03-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Ma,

I have always wanted to chronicle my understanding of you. Its no exaggeration to say that you have always been my Hero, my role model. But I strongly feel that understanding you will help me understand me better. So yes its for a selfish reason, but you've always been very kind towards most of my faults, so here goes:

My most enduring memory of my early years, when I was 4 or 5, was hating you for working.

I hated you for having a job and not being there to drop me to school or pack me awesome lunches. You missed my sports days and gave me the same old bread sandwich. I hated You. I couldn't understand why your work was more important than me. I hated you simply because I missed you. There was a time, in the upper kindergarten, when during a test, the parents of all the kids were present and helping their wards answer the "test". I didn't have anyone to tell me what the 5 times table looked like and was miserable. I didn't hate dad for working but I was filled with anger towards you. I envied the other kids whose mothers were omnipresent for every goddamn school event.

Then, as I began making sense of the things around me, I realized that I was privileged in a way. I got the best bicycle, the best dresses, the best birthday parties and the realization that you working helped me get the best of everything. Especially when I got put into a really posh school in standard 6 for which you and dad had to cough up a pretty big donation. You both did that without thinking twice and I found myself in the company of rich kids, wondering how I got here. I remember appreciating, for the first time, the privileges that your job afforded me.

As I immersed myself in studies and realized that I loved school, I remember the seeds of ambition taking root in me. I wanted to become somebody. I wanted to do something. I wanted to utilize me and make a difference. I remember looking at you in a different light altogether. I saw you not as a mother or as a bread winner but as an achiever. As someone who was the first woman scientist in the country to be feted by Prime Minister Indira Gandhi and all this when you were in your twenties. I remember looking at your photographs, receiving subsequent awards from other prime ministers and feeling pride swell up in me. I remember you telling me about how you work with farmers to improve their crop yields to make India self sufficient. That's when I stopped looking at the other kids with envy and felt nothing but disdain when their Stay at Home Mothers (SAHM) came to collect report cards.You were a superstar in my eyes and I didn't care that you missed all my best student award ceremonies.

When I was in college and was angst ridden as everyone, I remember you asking me what I wanted to do in life. When I replied, in a moment that only be described as “random rebellion”, that I wanted to just stay at home and marry a rich man, I remember that quiet look of exasperation on your face. You didn't chastise me for it, instead you said that if that was what utilized my talents to the best then I should by all means stay at home. That's what you taught me - to utilize my talents. To do what I was born to do. When I asked you why you work and slog your butt off, you simply said it was because you loved what you did. That thought stayed with me through college and helped me choose a job that was off the beaten path. Having found my raison d'etre, I now realize why you emphasized on me utilizing my talents to the fullest. Its the best feeling in the world isn't it? when you love what you do?

But Ma, having been in the work force for 4 years now, I also have come to appreciate the trade-offs that you've had to do to balance work and family. You were not just a working professional you were a working mother and I know now that it's probably the most difficult job in the world. It must have been tough to reject promotions that might have warranted extensive travel in favour of spending more time with your Kids. You must have been wrecked with Mommy guilt for not attending some of my school events because of some work deadline. It's at this stage in my life that I fully comprehend how tough life is for women like us who want it all - The balance between the Job and the family. The compromises demanded by such a balance is what torments us everyday. I can't begin to imagine the comprises you have had to make but today as I look out into the future, I can't help but look at you in admiration for the manner in which you succeeded in raising us and in having a super-awesome career. I only hope that I have half the character and determination you possess.

What I love about you was how dedicated you are towards your career. How you clung on to it despite going through some tough times - Like raising two small kids by yourself when Dad was on transfer for 10 years. I now understand why you just refused to quit. You were one of the first generation of women in this country to enter the work force and the onus was on you to perform and break the glass ceiling for subsequent generations. I can't begin to imagine the gender bias you must have faced because I face it too at work at this age. I have colleagues who tell me that as a woman I don't have to worry about promotions because I have a husband who'll take care of me subsequently. Yes. I can imagine the taunts you must have faced. The hard work you must have put in to get half as much credit. The unfairness of it all. I now know why it hurts you when educated women in my times opt to sit at home. I feel proud of you when I go to work because I don't have to prove my worthiness everyday and that I'm evaluated on an equal footing along with the men.

At this stage in my life, I think I understand why you are so tough and yet so fragile. You have been tempered by the times. I love you for your strength. Only you could tell me to follow my heart and go to a US school in such times when everybody is advising against it. Only you could tell me to have an incredible two years and chase a dream. I also love you for being so tender. For being annoyed at me for not calling home often. For my lack of culinary skills. I love you and admire you and I only hope I develop half the strength and courage that you posses. I desperately want to make you proud and I sure as hell will try to.

Your adoring daughter,

A

what? its 2009 already??

2009-01-19T10:14:00.000-08:00

..and I didn't get to transition properly thanks to getting ill a million times over and a heavy dose of work. The two always come together and I'm telling you its a collusion between God and top management. Its a CONSPIRACY, I tell you!

Well the illness was bad - Gastroenteritis and so had to be hospitalized for 6 days. Well I didn't want to write about it but I want to, because it's the ultimate nightmare scenario of anybody living on their own. I realized how important it is to have a designated ICE - In Case of Emergency- person. Mine happened to be V and thank god for that. V is more than an ICE, he is Man Friday. He will drink with you on a weekday when you are depressed and arrange for things if the need arises. Infact, when I was puking for the 300th time that day, I texted V, asking him to come with me to the hospital the next morning. He called right back and blasted me for even texting when I was not well and told me he was taking me to the hospital right then.

I puked all the way to the hospital and immediately after reaching, a whole host of nurses pounced on me and ran gazzilion tests on me. Hospitals always have a prophylactic effect on me. I stopped puking in the hospital and was wondering if I should perhaps make a dash for it. I was, even embarrased for a moment before nausea hit me like crazy and felt sick to my stomach (no pun intended). They suggested I get admitted because my blood pressure was really low and just like that needles were struck and intra-venous saline was started. In that moment of clarity, I asked V to take pictures of me in the hospital for facebook. Yes, you heard me. My thinking was that, if I had to suffer through reams and reams of St.Tropez/Venice/Carribean photos of various people, I had every right to subject everybody to hospital gore. I told V that I would update my status message with lurid details of my vomit and such. V agreed and started taking photos like mad. Me in my hospital smock, me in the wheel chair, me dying of nausea etc etc. The nurses actually thought I was mental and that I had come to the wrong hospital!

Well, after more theatrics later I got wheeled to my room and fell asleep. Till...the Loved One made a dramatic entrance at 4 am like a knight in shining armor. He cracked a joke about my surroundings and patted me to sleep. After that he totally took care of me. He took on my insurance company and got me upgraded to a better room with a TV and everything. He made me laugh when I was too nauseous to eat and even gave me forbidden pieces of garlic bread when I couldn't eat the hospital food anymore.But the TV in the room was the clincher. After 2 days in a TV-less room, my dramatic recovery began the moment I got to watch MTV Roadies. Just for that a big sloppy kiss to MTV Roadies, the bestest show ever on TV. I absolutely love how it panders to my basest instincts, with a good measure of shadenfraude thrown in. But coming back to the Loved One, I fell in love with him all over again because of the concern and sensitivity he showed. He even said I looked pretty in my hospital smock. I wanted to cry because I couldn't believe I had trained him so well (I'm so gonna get whacked for this, sorry baby!). He made me laugh so much that when it was time to leave the hospital, I accidently asked the nurse when I could "Check Out" as if we were in a hotel suite!

I got discharged in 6 days, after they ran every possible test they could and after pumping me with enough anitbiotics to last a lifetime. I lost my appetite and promised never to eat till the Loved One made his Daal. This daal was heaven. Infact after tasting it, heaven should now be called daal. It not only gave me my appetite back but I after that I pretty much wanted to eat everything in sight. Which was a strict no, no and so had to contend myself with eating home cooked, non spicy food.

I skipped work and went home to Bangalore a day later to get mollycoddled by the folks. My mother fed me like one would a starved somali child. Actually the whole illness made me lose 4 Kgs and I ended the year on the exact weight that I wanted to be at. I spent 8 months in the gym in the hope of achieving that feat and it took just 6 days in the hospital in the end.

I got pampered for 10 days and then came back to Pune for work and promptly fell ill again, this time - the Flu. Heavy workload promptly came in as well, causing me to get down on my knees and literally beg all the gazillion gods to to please spare me.

Well there, that was my account of the past 4 weeks not pretty by any means. 2008 was such a Yo-Yo year for me. Good things happened but bad things happened as well. It has made me more pessimistic than ever. But hey, atleast I didn't Facebook the whole hospital thing. I still have some decency left. Probably the only reason why I can never get on MTV Roadies. hmmmm

What Next?

2008-12-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of something cheerful and fluffy to write but I can't after what happend a week ago. Its hard to see this blank page and not want to write about happened, how angry it makes you feel and how powerless and fateful life seems to have become. Its just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it could just as easily have been me or you. That's what we were robbed off last week. The right to feel safe. Because till then, terror strike was just a random link on some news page. Oh 30 people died in a bomblast somewhere, really sad that...Its not that any of us are callous, its just that we'd become soo immune to it all till this audacious attack happened. I think that's what shocked us all - the manner in which it happened and not that it happend at all. I say this because just yesterday there was a blast in Assam and 3 people died but that wasn't important to our news channels who were busy listening to the latest volt face by the Pak PM and it wasn't important to any of us either - there were no Facebook updates mourning the loss of these people. I feel sad for us. That we've become so immune that we need a heinous act to pour our anguish over.

But that's not what I wanted to write about scores have other bloggers have articulated the frustration and anger a lot better than I ever could - a few links here and here. But what I wanted to add my two cents to are the next steps. What do we do now? I want to offer some solutions because I don't want to go down as one of those people who complained but did nothing. So Mr. Prime Minister, if you are listening, a few pointers.

Firstly, had this situation occurred in a business corporation, not would I have been stripped of my job a long time back, but would have been incarcerated for eternity for bungling up so badly. Thats what I decided to - analyze this from a corporate mindset.

Its clear we need an organization change - too many mini institutions and too many turf wars, resulting in chaos and non cooperation between teams. I could hardly believe the appalling leaks that are coming out of RAW. It seems that they warned of an attack in september but didn't care what happend to it after. Every department is putting its hand up and excusing themselves from the blame. Its like saying that you knew the competition's price and you told some random person about it and your responsibility ends there. In any business, thats grounds for sending you home. We not only need a simpler organization structure that unifies internal security and intelligence agencies. I read an article on the TOI recently on the next 10 steps to take and I thought it a fairly good overview of the organizational change needed. But sadly in our country organization change isn't enough. Decision making authority is important too. If ever we do get an agency for internal security, I hope it gets a faster, quicker decision making authority too. This is what happened on the night of the tacks. Mumbai Police calls ATS who then call the chief minister who called the home minister who called the NSG chief who then called up the unit in Harayana!!! they lost close to 5 hours in the interim. Bureaucracy and hierarchy prevented the call from going to the right person.

Thats another pet peeve of mine. Why is everyone baying for the blood of ministers? Didn't we all read history in school to know that our ministers rarely stratetegize and that they just blindly sign files. period. Their handlers are the IAS officers - the secretaries. They are the ones in charge, what file should be sent, who should get transferred to where etc. Why is no one baying for their blood goddammit??? I think they are more responsible than the ministers. No ministerial secretary has resigned over this and I wonder why? Powerful IAS lobby perhaps? This is aking to firing the non executive board member of a company instead of the CEO. I heard someone saying on CNN-IBN that most IAS officers consider the home ministry a "punishment posting". Internal security is a punishment??

Apart from organizational change, we need the best and brightest minds working for internal security. But that isn't possible with the salaries and the equipment that our forces get. I think our forces did a stellar job that day despite the poor equipment that they had. Tells volumes about our misplaced priorities isn't it?? I don't care if I have to pay a special tax on internal security but can we please pay them a million times more so that they are motivated to protect this nation??

I'm tired. I'm really tired that it takes over 4100 terror attacks to act tough. We are worse than a soft state, we are a country with no balls whatsoever. Call me unpatriotic if you will but thats what I think. Whoever in the world can come and fuck us over and over again and all we do is issue " a strong condemnation". Mr. Prime Minister, do something goddammit!! Show them that nobody messes with us!

Epiphany can be a salman khan song..sometimes..

2008-11-26T07:52:00.000-08:00

Saturday evening it was. 5PM. I stood with nothing left to do, antsy, slightly depressed when an SMS beeped. It said "Wanna do scream? Free pick up and drop facility available" This, my friends, is what is called, "Divine Intervention". Its not the red sea parting, or about sending plagues to desert dwellers, its about a sweet missive from the heavens that pretty much answers all questions that a girl might have on a Saturday night
- Where to go tonight?
- Who will buy me free drinks?
- When do I get to wear that new godawesome dress?
- When do I get to wear that new godawesome shoes?
- How can I do dancing tonight?
- How can I go dancing, drinking, wearing godawesome clothes and not spend any money?

Answer: Tadaa....by going to Scream (Pune's only happening night club) with friends V and S.

V and S were the two blokes I treated for my birthday and to who, I gave a lot of hell for, for giving me Milk Chocolates as present. Lovely two people that they are, inspite my shameless demand for "tangible prezzies", they decided to give me 2 books and a trip to Scream as my gift.

I love night clubs. I love being awash in a sea of pulsating rhythms. So when the SMS from V came, It was all I could do to restrain myself from bouncing all around my room. I was listening Keane being pensive all day and now I got a chance to jiggy to the Desi Girl song from Dostana. Life was perfect! So I wore my godawesome dress which was a swishy strapless number in red with gold stripes (ok my description does not do justice..but it looked awesome I swear!) and inaugurated my awesome black open - toe sandals from Charles & Keith. When the two blokes came to pick me up, I was already in Diva mode.

Then they tell me that we wouldn't be drinking at the club at all. They were instead, planning to buy Vodka and coke from a local wine shop and drink it all up in the parking lot of Scream. When I heard their plans, I wanted to Scream (bad pun..I know) "I'm dressed to kill and you guys want me to drink vodka from a plastic cup??" It was either that or no Scream they said. So, me, the much-reduced-in- ego diva had no choice but to drink up in the parking lot with all the security guards giving us shady looks. But it was fun! we all marveled at the ability of 3 successful people to still be utterly frugal. Soon, thanks to being very liberal with the Vodka, I was all wheeeeeeeee and tipsy!

That's when we entered the club and it totally rocked. It was glorious uninhibited dancing and I felt I could keep dancing forever. V decided to teach me salsa in the middle of the dance floor and the man spun me around everywhere and it was all dizzyingly good. To thank him for teaching me some salsa, I showed V my favourite dance step in the whole world - the water sprinkler!! I don't care if it looks silly but its the bestest! Then weirdness happened when this random chick decided to intrude onto our group and started hitting on S. Then after dancing with S she started hitting on ME! I started freaking out and was all WTF!!! V rescued me and random chick went back to hitting on S which made V and me sigh. We were both missing our significant others and cursing our respective situation of being in long distance relationships. We were getting along really fine when the music switched from house to bollywood and then the whole place went crazy. I don't know where I'd be without bollywood. I got to do the desi girl dance finally. All that practising in front of the mirror helped and I acquitted myself perfectly.

When Scream decided to close at 2 PM, we all were exhausted beyond belief. Although, may I please add a shout out to Charles & Keith? 6 inch heels and it totally didn't hurt! I'm going to be their brand ambassador from now on! I lasted 4 hours on the dance floor without once taking my shoes out. Ladies, please pay homage to C & K. We went back to the parking lot to drink some more and reminisce quietly. We switched on the FM and guess what, they were playing Salman Khan's greatest hits!!! Just when I thought this night couldn't sillier, they played DA BOMB salman khan song - Garam Chai!!! And there we were, 3 people with moderately successful careers, with stress, life's myriad worries, laughing and singing "Ek Garam Chai ki pyaali ho, Koi mujko pilaney waali ho"

That's when it struck me, Life needs to be silly. It's what rescues us from all the gravity around us. Who da thunk, salman khan would help me sort through all the depressing clutter in my life.

P.S: V and S, big sloppy kisses to both of you for being soooo nice to me.

Oh btw, If it isn't clear already, I HATE Facebook

2008-11-12T11:01:00.000-08:00

So its a bright and sunny new day and you find that you are only five minutes late to work. You heave a sigh of relief because:

a. You don't have to make lame ass excuses for your late-ness such as "Oh I've been working so much with the US team that it twisted my sense of time and I started believing that I was on daylight saving too"

b. You are spared the embarrassment of seeing the look of disbelief on your boss's face when do infact have a genuine excuse like the last time - remember that? You told your boss that you lost your debit card and had to spend an entire hour canceling the card and then had to wait for another hour for a friend to give you the money because you were penniless. And because you were penniless, you actually couldn't come to office. Yeah your boss chortled away. But that didn't disturb you. What disturbed you was that your boss didn't show any concern for your state of penury. What's happening to the world you ask.

So, its all good today morn. Many people commented on your new haircut, which is always an upper. You turn on your laptop. Watch it hum back to life. Curse the shit out of it when it takes too long to load. You let your mails download one by one. Or in your case, make it bombs dropping by one by one. Work for you has never been less than world war 3. So while the bombs are dropping, you check your personal mail account to see if you have any new job offer. Yes your official position has always been that you love your work and yada yada and you really do but it doesn't really hurt to be curious. And that's how you justify a lil personal mail checking. All seems to be good there. Oh. Wait a facebook message from someone you exchanged pleasantries with 8 yrs back. Oh you wonder what she could want?

So you log into facebook and immediately see that your entire "friends" circle is up and about and so bloody active. Lot of status message updates already. Somebody's status message says that they just had a fancy breakfast that included bacon, ham, croissants and preserves. You sigh on reading that and your stomach rumbles because:

a. You've forgotten what a breakfast is because you haven't had one in a zillion years, because you have to look after yourself all by yourself

b. For you, there can only be only dynamite breakfast and that is the set dose special at shanti sagar together with south indian filter coffee.

Deep sigh. And you are filled with hate for that person with the fancy breakfast because just 20 minutes into your day and you are already yearning...

You peruse through your mails and pay special attention to the one from the boss. It says he needs the budget by 4 PM. Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit you say. You totally forgot about it. An entire year's budget in less than 6 hours!! (coffee breaks not included) But you don't panic. You are strangely zen about the whole thing because:

a. You did this last year in 3 hours, so considering that, this time it seems like a walk on the beach

b. You have everything you need so its just a matter of putting things together. Infact you even have the competition's budget - which needed a lot of chicanery on your part and its something that your proud of

c. You have a secret weapon called the "Miscellaneous" field. A place where you are going put all your extra needs if you run of time

So, all sorted, you toggle your windows and come back to the facebook page. You decide that this would be the day that you would update your status message. You think hard about what you want to say. Unlike other people, you are not at all glib when it comes to one-line self explanatory sentences. So you think hard. You frown. How about..

"..... is facing world war 3 at work"

Nah..too boring and very work slavish. Meanwhile your voyeuristic self rears its pretty head and you start trawling through all your "friends' "photo albums. You see that one of them has posted pics on the Sistine chapel. Again you sigh a deep sigh. You look around your cubicle, which, infact you remind yourself, was voted the most unclean cubicle in your entire building. You also remember how they took pictures of it to educate people on how not to maintain a cubicle. Sistine Chapel sounds nice you sigh. You yearn for a vacation. You've not had a vacation since err..well two weeks ago when you went to Ooty. That's it, you think. You'll tell everyone about your Ooty trip

"............is wishing that she was in front of a toasty fireplace in Ooty"

Ooty? you realize how lame that sounds. There are people putting up pictures about bar crawls in barcelona and here you are talking about lame ass ooty. You veto that one too. About the bar crawl, you wonder how people go to bars armed with cameras because:

a. When you want to get drunk, you never tell the people you are gulping with to hang on a sec and pose for a pic. How do people post apparently drunk pictures you ask yourself?

b. It sounds utterly lame ass and cheesy

You trawl some more and find that your best friend is "in a relationship" all of a sudden. And there's a little pink heart next to it. You start hyper ventilating because:

a. anybody in any relationship makes you hyper ventilate out of curiosity because that's just the person you are

b. You are hopping mad that the bitch didn't tell you and that you had to find out

So you do the most logical thing and immediately speed dial a common friend (CF). CF tells you that the bitch didn't tell anyone and that it was a facebook announcement you see. I've heard of breaking news and all but this was ridiculous. What ever happened to the good ol' fashioned manner of calling all your friends and telling them that you're in love and all. Yes, to be honest, you loathed such saccharine calls, but in hindsight, it seems more acceptable than this pink heart menace. You want your status message to say

".............Loathes pink hearts"

You veto that too, because in reality you don't loathe pink hearts. You just hate the bitch. You get back to your excel sheet and concentrate on the budget. Your meeting reminder pops up and reminds you that you have a major product meeting to attend to. You decide to go because:

a. Its good time pass

b. Its a meeting where cake and freshly brewed tea is served. What's not to attend you ask?

The meeting breezes on. You find yourself engaged. You are relieved and happy to know that the product will not only do well in the next 5 years, it will also kick ass. Hooray, pipip, Jai etc. Your ebullience makes you want to change your status message to

"......is working for the winning team"

but you shoot it down because being gun-ho about your company is soo passe in this world. You come out of the meeting and go back to your budget. You notice that your "Miscellaneous" line item is looking alarmingly large. You also notice that the whole world has converged on facebook and is furiously Web2.0-ing. Two of your colleagues ping you asking for advice on relationships and career. You are a born nutcase and instead of realizing that you should stay away from it all, you plunge in and give on full on advice. You tell one to go for it and the other to follow his bliss. You colleague thanks you for the relationship advice and informs you that he will break up with his girlfriend. You gulp. You double gulp. You then launch into a full on speech and try to dissuade this guy from breaking up because:

a. You don't want to be THAT person who precipitated the break up. Bad karma follows THAT person

b. You refuse to learn and just shut-the-fuck-up

Post the traumatic stress of being THAT person, you want your message to read

"..................is making a mental note NEVER to give relationship advice"

You veto that too because you know that isn't really true because as far as you know, giving random advice is truly your forte.

You are done with the budget and mail it off to the boss. You see that since morning all your facebook friends have been updating and re-updating their status messages. You have taken an entire day and not even come up with one while your buddies have made 15 updates already. A realization, that surges forth with a deep resonance, hits you. You loather this entity. Facebook. Because:

a. You are learning minute details of people that you wish you hadn't known. What ever happened to that thing called Discretion you ask. Why can't people just shut up you wonder? Why do I have to know what they ate, what they feel, what they are doing, who they are doing....why all this information and the urge to share. If people want to share, they should start a blog you say to yourself

b.Its unbridled exhibitionism. People don't want to share, they just want to show off. Oh look how cool I am, look how many friends I am etc. Its like high school and college all rolled into one. Take for instance all those people suddenly taking Barack Obama quizes. Really?? when surely 6 months ago these very people would have though that Barack Obama was some sort of sordid, diabolical south indian movie.

c. Your real true friends are lost in this diluted pool called "Friends list" It has all become so random. You hate the fact that your best friends write you non-intimate scraps that everyone can see and that those personal phone calls or emails have stopped because everything is on display on the profile page

d. You apparently have shit loads of work when apparently the rest of the world is having a care free life. Don't these people have work to do you ask?

You ruminate and close the facebook page.

................................................................................................................................................................

DISCLAIMER

1. Fictionalized account of my work place. No resemblance to the actual work I do and yes I do do a lot of work regardless of what my account might suggest

2. I Hate facebook. that part is true

3. Yes, I think in bullet point format.

Do not disturb - furiously tucking into sambhar rice here

2008-10-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

I love coming home to bangalore because I get the opportunity to unleash myself on all the rasam-sambhar out there. I love south indian cuisine. Its my soul food. Infact when I got home, my mother asked me what "special food" I would like her to make and without blinking an eye lid, asked her to keep the sambhar and rice coming. It feels like truly coming home you know when the familiar taste of the hot sambhar kicks in. I don't know what "Home" is, but it gives a feeling of security which feels most odd.

For the past 2 years (almost), I've been on an alien diet. Roti, rajma, unfamiliar curries and tastes. It has dulled my palate and made it indifferent to food. I hate eating in Pune, I don't know why though. I'm sure living on your own does this to you, together with working 14-16 hours. I hate coming home after a hard day and dealing with the fact that I have to make dinner. Being the lazy person I am, I just nibble at some brown bread or when I'm feeling particularly industrious, make some pasta. But still, I hate eating the food. This realization just hit me when I was asking for a third helping of sambhar rice. I was surprised by how much I was enjoying my food. It filled every dull pore in my palate and energized it. Thanks to all the copious amounts of rice consumed, I feel like a thoroughly sated beached whale.

I have also been tucking into some awesome sea food. I guess that's one of the advantages of being managalorean, sea food is par for the course. Lots of pomfret, tuna and sardine and I'm more than making up for the 6 months that I went without having any sea food.

Thats why I love coming home. I'm treated with so much indulgence by the parents. Every request of mine is acquiesced to- even the TV remote is handed over to me. THAT in my family is HUGE. Its a great responsibility and I have discharged it with great character by watching repeat episodes of America's Next Top Model and Big Boss. Watching the TV with my parents has scared me though. Scared me because I've realized that my parents watch the very same programs as I do. My dad mentioned how much he liked Bones and Prison Break and my mother knew all the goss on Big Boss. Infact, I was filpping through a Susheela Raman interview on TV and my mom asked me to keep it on because she liked Susheela Raman. Infact my parents sound more erudite than the RBI Governor. Its very very cool that they are so current, but it somehow feels like invading into my territory.

I love their coolnes though. I worship their nonchalant attitude to everything. After spending time with them, I realize how fortunate I am to have such liberal parents. Parents who are not insistent on marrying into the right background and shit like that. Parents who are okay with me staying out late. It may sound trivial but after interacting with prudes in Pune, I know I am fortunate to have parents who'll even mix weird cocktails for you. Mom shocked the wits out of me by mixing wine and sprite. Its btw a most awesome mixture and we are planning to call it "Write". That was another scarily cool moment because, now my whole experiment of adding vodka to cough syrup last month seems genetic. EGAD!!

My parents are weird people and I love them for that because that has in turn has contributed to me being weird. On being confronted with a cocktail mixing Mom, most children would be alarmed, but not me. I'm thinking of introducing her to Tequila and Bombay Sapphire gin and can't wait to see what she comes up with in the next 6 months hehe

*raises a toast to quirky parents all over*

Mere Pass...ISRO ke scientists hain!

2008-10-23T11:11:00.001-07:00

Well history was made yesterday, no I'm not alluding to the successful launch of the Chandryaan mission, but to the fact that CNN IBN featured a half hour special on all the scientists involved in the mission. Why history? because it was probably the longest, unbridled footage of South Indians on mainstream television, since well, Kamal Hassan sang mere jeevan sathi, to serenade Rati Agnihotri in Ek Dooje Ke liya on Doordarshan (as an aside, should I get myself examined because I actually remember this thing??) . I'm not kidding about this. All the scientists that were featured were South Indians and no where in this footage did people make fun of the way South Indians spoke, walked, danced, oiled their hair etc etc. To say, I was stunned would be an understatement. I was infact most suspicious of the whole thing and was quite sure that a Sardarji would pop out in the end and say chak de phatte and make fun of the way "madrasees" ate pappads or washed their bums or whatever mannerism of ours that people find peculiar, even if it was rocket science that we were talking about.

That's my main peeve actually. I don't see my ethos in mainstream television. South Indians are rarely featured in mainstream media. All the ads have this good looking punjabee family with little bunty who has a little beanie on his head. Little bunty infact comes across as a perfect pest but does that matter? He's punjabee, he represents the entire nation. Infact a couple of years back when Chevloret came out with a Karva Chauth Ad, all my, ahem, North Indian friends really lurrved the AD. I ofcourse, didn't get (still don't get) Karva Chauth, because in South India, women don't starve for their husband's longevity, but infact beat them up if they (the men) even so much as moot such an idea. I hated that Ad actually, more for the fact that Chevolet ostensibly chose to advertize to a North Indian Mileu. What about the rest of us who don't get/care about Karva Chauth? There is no South Indian-ess portrayed anywhere on TV. If a paint company talks about celebrations, they show a North Indian wedding. I hate the fact that when I see TV, I can't relate to anything. And no Vidya Balan and Madhavan on Airtel's Ad don't qualify because although they both are south indian, they don't act South Indian. I mean which South Indian woman massages her husband's shoulders?? She would more likely whack him on the head and tell him to massage his own goddamn shoulders. The only south indian person on TV that I can clearly recall, is Mohinder Suresh on Heroes, and he's on American TV!! Although, that too is a bit of a farce, because which southie would be caught dead with a name like Mohinder?? I personally thinks that the producers of Heroes should be given points for understanding the great north-south divide in India, even better than us Indians.

There are two reasons for this methinks. One - is that south indian culture is not attuned to spreading propoganda and the second - we don't control the media. Lets tackle number one. South Indians are assimilators not propagaters. We don't make an effort to propogate our culture to people. So when the immigrant population in Bangalore rises, the auto drivers, start speaking in Hindi and everybody talks about what a great melting pot the city is. We are melting pot while the brits rock to bhangra at the London underground. Point number two, is self explanatory considering most south indians are loathe to do an arts degree, so it is no wonder that we have no presence in the media. As there is (almost) no presence, it isn't surprising that our stories, our ethos is never portrayed. I'm yet to come across a book in recent times on South Indian life. There are tons on the Mehras, the Aroras and the Chatterjees but none on poor Kuppuswamy and family. Anita Rau Badami's Tamarind Mem and R K Narayan's stories come to mind but there's still a great void.

That my wonderful traditions are never portrayed anywhere is what peevs me today. That I feel like an alien sometimes in my own country. That I sometimes feel itsn't even my country to begin with. That I love my rasam-sambhar and have to search high and low for a specialty South Indian restaurant to serve it here in Pune, when almost any nondescript food joint can cook up Butter Chicken in a trice. That people chortle when I speak in Kannada and call it a jalebi language. That I have to feel apologetic when I eat rice with my hands.

You can't imagine the amount of jibes I've had to take because of my South Indianess. Be it listening to a guy making fun of south indian women and their tendency to oil their hair or listening to people make fun of our devotion to Rajnikanth. I hate reacting to negative stereotypes and worse, explaining our ethos to people. Why aren't we ever portrayed in a decent manner on TV for instance? Either we have a terrible accent or too dark or whatever.

I was having an argument once with this Guy who was majorly dissing Bangalore and was waxing eloquence about his Dilli. He then veered the conversation to how Bangalore's crumbling infrastructure reflected the lackadaisical nature of South Indians, while the awesome Infra in Delhi showed how sprightly his brethren were. He almost said, "Mere pass Delhi Metro hain, Night life hain, 6 lane road hain....tumhare pass kya hain?"

Well, he knows the answer now!

Silly!

2008-10-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

She: We should start talking about deeper stuff, you know, like philosophy and stuff. We talk like a superficial couple..we need more depth...

He: Ok, so do you know where the Mariana Trench is?

She (absentmindedly): I dunno...somewhere in the pacific....err...why?

He: You said you wanted to talk about "deeper stuff".....??

Happy birthday baby! I love the madness that is you!

Ze Burday Update

2008-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

Well my plans of getting rich on my birthday backfired majorly. Instead, I ended up losing a lot of money, which has led me to abandon plans of ever mass advertizing the day of my birth again. I got the usual SMSes, Orkut/Facebooks scraps, calls, flowers, cards, chocolates but no Money and my birthdays, since time immemorial have always been about the money.

Before, I be accused of being a cold-hearted b***ch, let me plead my case. Ever since I was a kid, I have always gotten cash on this day. I never liked the presents that my relatives gave me. Either it was some silly puzzle book (people who give puzzle books to little kids should be shot, well to be fair... I used my puzzle book presents to gift other hapless kids..which in my opinion is the best way to use terrible gifts) or a book I'd already read. I got a famous five book as a present once when I was 15!! This, when I was reading Dickens for goddsakes!! When I opened the gift wrapping and saw what was inside, I wanted to scream "Are you Kidding me???" So I decreed to everyone that it was in everybody's best interest that I get cash for my birthdays. I would be able buy what I wanted and good karma would follow the gift giver. Clearly a win-win for everybody. That's when the deluge started. Packets of cash stuffed envelopes from everyone, which went to ma for safe keeping. After combining the money from the Diwali bounty, I use to make my way to Gangarams, my pilgrimage spot in bangalore and buy tons and tons of books. I never used my birthday money to buy things other than books till I was in 2nd year college. So to cut a long story short, cash is what makes my Birthday a Birthday. Otherwise I see no point for this day to be celebrated. I don't like gift wrapped presents because 9 times out of 10, I get something I have no use for and I end up cursing people and their ilk till 2070.

So when yesterday, dawned, I waited to see if the usual suspects would offer cash again. Ok thats a terrible way to address family but I do it in jest. The parents called in promptly at midnight. They were very sweet and lovely. Then we came to the part about the presents. Last year I got a diamond solitaire from them so this year my expectations were understandbly higher. Ma said that I'd get my present when I came home in a couple of weeks. I was actually horrified and asked her if it was a "gift wrapped kind of present" she was talking about. My mother, god bless her, knows me and never judges my quirks. "Cash it is then" she said. My brother called later. He wished me first and promptly launched into a monologue on the cold he was battling. I behaved like a good sister and told him about my home remedies that he could use, while all the while thinking about how I could cut this crap and fast forward to the part where I'd be offered cash, in aussie dollars or Indian ruppees. I was actually trying to see which currency was more beneficial, given the current currency exchange rates. After finishing the tale about his epic battle, he asked me to have a great day and hung up. WTF!!!! I stared at the phone in disbelief. My own brother! Judas!! that was the story basically, all the relatives I knew, called me and asked me to have a great day. How the hell was I to have a "great day" when no one was giving me cash to have that proverbial "Great day" huh? Thats when it hit me. Thats what 25 means. You're grown up. You don't need cash and you ain't gonna get it either. I find it greatly unfair that just because I'm self sufficient and have a job, I'm not gonna get cash presents anymore!

So given the grand disillusionment, I only did what a girl in my place would do, I went shopping for the birthday dress. Ok let me warn all the boys reading, that this is the part where they should skip because it includes all the boring girly stuff. My bought a lovely black embroidered corsett top, which not only looked beautiful but also fit me like a dream. I cry and burst into happy tears when things fit me like a dream. I must clarify that I'm not overweight or anything, its just that I have unusual proportions. Large hips, large bosom and slender waist, all translates into fuck ups in the trial room. Infact there was time, several months ago when, a dress I had gotten into wouldn't come off. I was utterly horrified and was half afraid that the store people would tear me out of the dress and would make me pay for the shambles. I speed dialed the loved one in desperation. I knew there was nothing he could do given that he was what 800km away, but he is my wise person and I always turn to him when I have to extricate myself (quite literally in this case) from any situation. So I called him and explained the situation. He calmed me down and told me that if I had gotten into it, it would very reasonable to assume that I could get out it too. Only this man could calm the madly blabbering and hyperventilating me with a booster shot of reason. I calmed down and got of the dress one boob at a time. It was actually very funny had it not been horrifying. Yes, so coming back to the birthday dress. It was gorgeous and I teamed it up with a beautiful pair of silver open-toes stilletoes (6 inches of glorious heels) from Charles & Keith. I looked all radiant and soo 25 and sorted type.

Dressed to kill, I took my friends and my roomate to La Dolce Vita for the birthday dinner and the dinner party gave me Milk Chocolates as a present. Now Milk Chocolates is actually worse than puzzle books. As far as birthday bounty was concerned this birthday was a disaster. I had a whole birthday register going. I had picked out what book I wanted, what shoes I wanted, but, nothing, except for a bunch of superfluous things I have no use for. All this has made me realize that once you're over a certain age, birthdays cease to be significant. It has all become so perfunctory. Apart from family and a few friends, nobody, including my closest friends, bothered to call. Yes, technically, I got tons of scraps on orkut and SMSes but I missed seeing or hearing the joy of it being my birthday being conveyed to me, like they used to in school. I loved birthdays in school, all the more, because my birthday always used to disappear in the diwali holidays and I was the only one who never got to wear a pretty dress or to whom the entire class sang along to the tune of "happy Birthday" :

"You were born in the Zoo
You were born in the Zoo
With the monkeys and the donkeys
...and you are one too"

But when my birthday did come on a school day it was fabulous. I used to be assaulted by bear hugs from all the other girls. My friends were genuinely happy for me and I was actually glad it was my birthday. In class 12, for example, the class got a cake and I cut the cake infront of everybody, complete with candle blowing, singing and all. A Funny incident that ocurred, was when I went to give a piece of cake to my physics teacher later. She asked me what my plans for the day were and I said, very deadpan-edly, "I'm planning to have an orgy tonight." Obviously, Mallu, physics teacher didn't understand what orgy meant and told me to "Have fun and enjoy every second." I'm sure I don't have many redeeming qualities in me but Chutzpah is one thing I have an abundance of.

So yesterday night, when I signed for the dinner bill, I realized what an Investment banker in Manhattan might feel like these days. You take certain steps expecting bounty and then you end up in the red horribly. Another life's lesson learnt the hardway. I realized that apart from the superfluous associations with Birthdays, it is also a day to look back and be thankful for. And I do have a lot to be thankful for, especially the people in my tribe who stand my wild rants and encourage me when I'm down.

The last thing I expected was to get wise on my 25th. Damn!

waiting for that macrame bird of prey to come down and sing la-ling la-ling la-ling...

2008-10-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's my sound track for October. Andrew Bird's My Skin. Its so very bohemian raphsody and has me singing laling laling laling...which is a good thing because its OCTOBER people! Clearly it doesn't take a genius to figure its my favourite month of the year. It has always been. October is the one month in the year that gives you a break. I'm not speaking in a literal sense, ofcourse in school we used to get holidays for dussehra, but I'm talking about the state of mind here. October is the month to stop running. It's the month of winter sunshine and blue skies. Its not as horrid as those winter months that bring with them coughs and illness, although there's a certain nippiness that adds to the excitement of the month.

Part of what makes October special are the festivals. Navratri, Dussehra and Diwali. I'm not one for festivals but if there is merriment count me in! Yes Navratri is part of my psyche even though I'm as south indian they get. I like Navratri and the whole Daandiya ding. I went for daandiya again this time and it was sooper fun. Funny thing, though, was the fact that after 2 hours of daandiya, the music turned to old faithful punjabee music and Singh again became king. What is it with us and punjabee music?? I'm looking forward to Diwali this time because I get to go to Bangalore for a full week! I can't wait to go to LOR and have cheese bites. yummmm!

Also, another thing that makes October special, is that it features my Birthday. I only like it because I'm guaranteed money and prezzies on this day. Which is a good thing because I'm like a human ATM, doling out money and paying various bills every other day. This time, given the financial situation, I've decided I'll accept only cash. I'm crushed about turning 25 though...eeegad. I don't feel 25 at all and I'm thinking if that says something about me. I don't feel like I have achieved much you know..... aah fuck it. Tomorrow, just tomorrow, I get rich.

Full Award-Shavard Only

2008-09-21T10:43:00.000-07:00

what do you know, my dear friend suhas has presented me with the following honour

Thankee, thankee *passeses imaginary glasses of champagne around*. Thanks Suhas :)

I like Suhas's posts because of a quiet sort of irreverance in his writing. This understated way of cocking asnook at things around him is extremely endearing. My favourite ofcourse was the beatles' spoof of yellow submarine. Suhas, my man, do write often.

As with tradition, I'll pass the baton on to some of my favourite blogs who I read quietly and who ofcourse deserve to be read by everyone because they're so awesome.

1. Amrita: My favourite blogger and best friend since yore. I love her details on life as a grad student (ahem, now a pretty famous grad student) in Australia. She also blogs regularly and even though we are miles apart, I feel like I have a pulse on my best buds' life. and Girl, I'm not exaggerating when I say this, you're the only scientist apart from the Stephen Hawking that I'll spend time reading

2. Vaish: I love her blog period. I love the quiet passion with she writes about her travels, food and ofcourse tea. Sometimes, when she's describing food, I can actually feel the taste, sitting over 2 oceans apart. Ofcourse I hate for that because it makes me instantly hungry. Her blog is replete with wonder photographs, especially of food. So don't tell me I didn't warn you if you drool all over your keyboard

3. Megha: I have to admit that her blog is a recent discovery. I got to know her through Amrita and now I'm pretty hooked to her blog. Especially about her travel posts. I see them and sigh a deep sigh and then wanderlust strikes me.

I also read a lot of other blogs. I love Jabberwock's blog and the Mad Mamma. Blogs are a part of my daily fix. The first thing I do in the mornings is check everybody's blog. It sort of reinforces a feeling that all is right with the world you know...knowing that my friends no matter where they are doing great. God bless ya'all

Now here are the rules for all..ahem..awardees..

1. Award other people. (Or zero, or one, or two depending on how seriously you decide to take this).

2. Write a post about this award, and link to my blog in that post.(Optional)

3. Buy me any food or drink for this award. If anyone wants to know I like seafood and no vegetarian food please

Pop goes my heart

2008-09-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

This is an improptu post. Just saw a movie called Music and Lyrics, yeah that one, starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. It was giggle worthy and very cute. But, I don't want to talk about the RomCom buuuut about the title song of this movie. Its called Pop! Goes My Heart. Its hilarious!! My roomate and I were rolling on the floor laughing at this. lololol

It brought up loads of memories of 80s Pop. I LOVE 80s Pop. I grew up on them. My dad used to get something called best of CBS tapes from bombay whenever he came home from there. These CBS tapes contained the hits of the year. Dad was transferred to bombay you see for 12 years I think. We saw him once in 6 months and he came bearing gifts always. To us he was the greatest daddy in the world because he got us so many fabulous things, with twinkle in his eyes. He also got us new music - nice, peppy songs with very catchy beats that we as a family would sway to. That's why I love 80s Pop in a way. It harks back to happier times when music came out of a magic box called the the tape player that we would watch mesmerizedly (is that a word?) looping infinitely. Sigh, theres no charm in the art of playing music these days

There's this quality to 80s Pop that I find utterly endearing. I can't quite describe it - Its cheesy, its weird, its catchy and its sort of uplifting you know? I find it more palatable than Pink Floyd. Sorry people. Thats what I think. But you know what makes Pop ..er..well..Pop? Its the SYNTHESIZER! Any good Pop song would have an overdose of this. May be its just me, but I miss Synthesizer riffs on songs today. Well anyway, the movie got me thinking of my favourite Pop songs. Here they are in no particular order. Go ahead, listen to them and make your day. See thats how much I love the 4 people who read this blog.

1. Step By Step - New Kids on the Block: I used to watch MTV most wanted as a kid in the mornings, before I left for school. When this song came out, I used wait for this song every morning. This is quintessential POP for me. On another note, how cool is my dad? he used to let me watch the most awesome videos and I was 8 years old and was the only one in my class to watch MTV. I even wrote to Nonie, who used to host MTV most wanted at that time. My dad very cutely posted the letter to Hungom Bay, Hong Kong but the buggers never played my song :(

2. Wake me up before you go go - Wham!: I love George Michael, I really do inspite of Wham! I still have the wham tapes. They are mouldy and damaged but it makes me nostalgic to the time when music was about the sound and the beat and not so much about the lyrics. I'm not a lyrics person at all. I somehow don't pay attention what is being sung. I love the beats and the Rhythm. May be that's why I like Pop so much, its sooo uncomplicated you know? While we are discussing Wham! do check out Last Christmas and Faith. George Michael had the sexiest music videos methinks. They were sexy but not trashy. Too Funky is my eternal favourite (would you like me to seduce you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?)

3. Take on Me - A-Ha: Morten Harkett, ahhhhhh, sigh... need I say more. A norse god who sang in english. What more can a girl ask? I loved the song and the video. I saw the video later but it was so close to what I had imagined! Btw is it just me or have we given up on videos? I haven't seen a single video that made go WOW in that last 4 or 5 years. Is our generation so satiated with the digital world that we are no longer inspired?

4. Rhythm is gonna get you - Gloria Esteban & Miami Sound Machine:This song typifies a synthesizer heavy song. This song was even copied bollywood in a movie called Tridev. Yesss that one where Nasseruddin Shah is wearing a Cowboy Hat and Kimi Katkar. Jeez, may be thats why I remember Tridev

5. Tarzon Boy - Baltimora: Raise your hands if you've heard this song before. If you've not, you should not waste a single minute and listen forsooth right NOW! If you're at work, turn up the volume when Maurizio Bassy's voice goes "ooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaahoooooooooooo" ..ok I was trying to represent the Tarzan Howl in text form there.

6. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship: Perfect ending for this post on POP. Great Grace Slick vocals. Sing with me....
And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever,
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us,
nothings gonna stop us

Ok now, go back to work. Tata and pip-pip

New shoes, Mumbai and other things that make life exciting

2008-09-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

The sniffles are out! my home remedies worked and how! Ok I'll stop but just wanted to inform those people hooked on antibiotics to try a safer approach. With the sniffles out of the way, I looked at the world anew and found that we are in September which in Pune means that that the festive season has indeed begun. The Ganesh utsav is on, all speakers blaring, where lord Ganesh, in his fancy new age pandal, can be heard telling the masses that Singh indeed is King. Thats why I love Ganesh Utsav's in Pune. Its so unintentionally irreverant. I've heard more 70's bollywood classics and Shive Sena rhetoric in these pandals than any Bajan extolling Lord Ganesh.Pandals, it seems, are a way of paying homage to the people's "God", so merriment is indeed the norm. Overall good fun, except when you have no power at 9 PM and the speakers outside are still blaring. Yes, these pandals have backup generators when my apartment complex does not. That's the thing about Pune sometimes. Priorities seem misplaced here.

Anyway, had some work at Mumbai last friday so ended up spending the weekend at Good Ol Mumbai. I love driving over to Mumbai. Since I don't have a car, in my case, I'm generally driven there and have ample time to take in the awesome scenary of the western ghats. This drive always invigorates me. After going through the weaving road, crossing the ghats, one feels like entering the promised land on entering Mumbai. It all seems soo apt. What I love though about the drive is the Vada Pavs. I'll say it again for effect - VADA PAVS. I love them. Especially that ones you get at Karjat. Oh my god, this is probably the only thing that is keeping me here. Every time I eat Vada Pavs on the expressway, I think to myself, I'll never leave this country, I'll open a vada pav stall and make it my life's mission to spread this wondrous entity around the country. O ye venture capitalists, if you want the next best thing, look no further than the vada pav. Give me funding you bitches...... Ahem you get the drift. This time the drive was even more awesome because it rained so gloriously. The western ghats look superb when it rains and there are this rivulets that are formed on the road and when you drive at 120 Kmph, it sets off a humongous splash on the side that goes whooooooosh. Its awesome and the twelve year old within me is doing excited cartwheels

Mumbai is ofcourse fun because my favourite cousin lives there with her family. She is my favourite because not only does she make AMAZING mangalorean chicken curry and other sea food, she also does impromptu jigs with me when our fav songs come on. I love her spontaneity. Infact, Mumbai being THE place when it comes to Ganesh Visarjans, we started dancing in the kitchen as we watched a Ganesh procession which was blaring the song "Bachna ae haseeeno..". We were even giggling uncontrollably because the thought of Lord Ganesh asking all the beauties to beware was too funny. And there was this marathi song. My favourite at the moment. Although its a Hindi song, it was featured in a marathi movie. Hear it and tell me its not Groovy. Lol. I love the madness in these moments. When our eyes are shining and we are doing ridiculous dance moves. It does not matter one bit because we are happy and care free

Oh also watched Rock On for the second time with my cousin and her family. I loved the movie and enough has been said to give it an additional 2 weeks at the theatres, although, for me, the show stealer was Purab Kohli. He was without doubt the soul of the film. The movie also reminded me of the RV band that all of us hated but secretly admired. What was their name again? anybody? It had something to do with milk and I remember they had a female drummer. You know I always wanted to be a drummer. Its sooo me. I told this to mom once and she rather over enthusiastically pushed me towards the Violin, which I love and will be the prodigy that I know I am, but I swear when I get my own pad someday, I'm gonna blare drums man! Yes, I'll be that cool drummer chick, with a hot belly button ring and 6 inch heels!

Speaking of heels, I made my pilgrimage to Aldo's store in Worli. Granted, its no Blahnik, but Aldo shoes are still soo HOT. I got myself a beautiful new pair of Mary Janes. I love them. I want to talk to them all day. I want to ask them how their day was and their opinion on who will become the next president of the united states. They're soo pretty that I'm dreading wearing them and besmirching them. At the Aldo store I had a minor celebrity sighting. Lilette Dubey was there with her daughter, Neha (remember Monsoon Wedding?) Oddly enough, they both were wearing identical black and white striped tops. They looked like a tag team wrestling team. I didn't realize it was dear Lilette because her top blinded me but after I got used to the visual aberration, I got my fill of celeberity sneak peaks. I even looked at dear Neha haughtily when she chose a sports shoe. I was all, Neha, darling, what would make you opt for sports shoes when this store is a wondrous heaven of high heels?. She apparently wanted the sports shoes really bad, because mother and daughter asked for the way to the sketchers store and walked out. After I got my prutty prutty shoes, I gushed about them to the loved one over phone. He said he would never understand women. Considering men do the same thing over a fancy new phone, I guess both the the genders will never understand each other.

That was it really. A nice, short fun trip. Great experiences and sooper hot shoes, isn't this how life should always be?

STILL not a good time to be me but I try

2008-09-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

The update on the fever and the continuous sneezing is that it has graduated into something I can't quite define except that my throat feels quite constricted and I sound like Marlon Brando in the Godfather. That would be such an awesome thing to have except that it isn't the best of voices to interview people with. I was half afraid that the candidate I was interviewing would ask me if we were going to the mattresses yet (haha Godfather movie joke. get?) My throat is still pretty fucked and I'm still sticking by my home remedies for some inane reason when I should be banging on my doctor's door. I don't want to have antibiotics. They make me so weak and wuzzy and give me terrible dreams

In a desperate bid I have given to mixing and matching my various home remedies. Clearly delirium has given way to delusion. I've already mixed herbal tea, milk, turmeric and black pepper to no effect. I'm addicted to a new cough syrup btw. Its an ayurvedic syrup with honey and a couple of herbs. Its so sweet and soothing that I have taken to glugging it like coca cola. It has no alcoholic content whatsoever so I don't feel woozy at work. Instead of chai breaks I have cough syrup breaks. I love it, so much so that I even made a cocktail out of it by adding vanilla vodka to it. It was HEAVENLY! It was possibly the best cocktail ever. It was sweet, had a certain kick to it at the back of throat and... its healthy.

Yes, I know, I should succumb to the antobiotics and stop the drama but honestly these pills scare the beejeesus out of me. I can't decipher the words on the back of the pills and when I don't know what I'm taking, it scares me. Its like sampling a new cuisine, what if the food doesn't agree with you?? Thats why I like my herbal cough syrup. It says - Effective relief from cough. No side effects. Simple enough. So anybody out there have any more home remedies for cold? I'm willing to try out anything before I finally succumb. I also think it would be extremely useful and fun to have list of home remedies. If anybody has any interesting home remedies for anything please put it in the comment section and I'll update it in the post later. Here goes my contribution:

Ze Ultimate Home Remedy List
1. Chicken soup: briliant for minor colds
2. Hot milk, turmeric & pepper: awesome for a sore throat
3. Vodka Martini: Brilliant for anything (wooohooo!)
4. Honey in Hot tea: Soothes a sore throat

Just wondering, if it isn't too crazy, should I try mixing hot milk, turmeric, pepper & vodka?

Soooo not the right time to be ME

2008-09-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

Oh man! what a weekend! and what a culmination to that weekend - Sore throat, runny nose, fever (like those all hot, shaky hand type fever) and to top it all MAJOR WORK. I'm telling you its a conspiracy between top management and God. I always get down with a major illness when my work load is at the heaviest. Damn! major sneeze happened right now and the laptop will have to be disinfected I suppose :(

What a weekend, I said, because the parents were here and were all cute and adorable. That's why I don't live with them I suppose. When I do, we get on each other's nerves, when I don't, all the love can't stop gushing. But considering the state I'm in now, I wish ma were here to make me her EXCELLENT masala chai. Living on your own sucks because at times like this, when you are all hoarse and delirious, you STILL have to do all the chores. Can I wail here? I really want to wail and feel sorry for myself now. Even though I have fever now, I will not go to a doctor because in our family we never go to the doctor unless were are literally dying and gasping for breadth. I usually turn to ma for medication advise or just battle it out with Hot water, vicks, turmeric milk and vodka for ammo. You might not believe me, but vodka is EXCELLENT for a small cold. It is, it is, it REALLY is. Those Russians are onto something. I could try the Vodka now but in the state I'm in, I'll prolly puke it all out and feel silly.

Self medication is loads of fun when it works and crappy when it doesn't. I mean 2 weeks back, when I felt a sore throat coming on, I drank up loads of hot milk with turmeric and black pepper. It soo worked and I went around advertizing it as the ultimate cure. Even the cafeteria guy looked at me with reverence for my home remedy. I felt like a droog (in Clockwork Orange), albeit a weird, desi type of droog. Now I'm not so sure about the efficacy of milk. I really hate going to the doctor. It feels like such a chicken thing to do. The last time though, when my fever had reached delirium proportions, I went to the doctor, took my prescription and went out with out paying him. I realized two days later that I hadn't paid! The antibiotics suck too. Makes you all woozy, weak and waify (oh my god, I'm alliterating now?? )

ok, I'll give warm milk and masala chai one more shot, if the fever does not subside, off to the doctor I march and this time, I promise, I'll pay him

Where I wonder why I'm not punjabee

2008-08-23T14:07:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see Hindi movies these days, this is the one thought that strikes me - Why am I not punjabee?? Clearly it seems to be the most fun ethnic group around. I see them on screen and wonder why my life isn't like theirs. Why there aren't as many weddings in my family as there seems to be in an average punjabee family. Hell they even have humongous families. What is that punjabees do? multiply like rabbits?? and how, I wonder, do these humongous families manage to sing and dance in perfect synchrony and celebrate the business of holy matrimony? It almost seems like they've all been trained in this matter. I see punjabee weddings and wish that weddings were an olympic sport. I look at them and sigh deeply that I will never see my sombre south Indian family going "shava shava" and I really want "shava shava" although I think its in everybody's interest that south indians not do "shava shava"

Another thing about punjabees is the well endowed-ness. The whole carefree- stress free-I'm-Karan Alhuwalia-I-don't-have-to-work thing. how is it that they never have to work? how is it that they never have worry about appraisals and review? why is it that they have rich daddies? These punjabee daddies are a confusing lot if you ask me. They send their daughters on europe trips (favourite haunt being switzerland) and allow them to spend obscene amounts of money and then act all funny and conservative and start arranging marriages. What sort of twisted logic is that?? although to be fair, most of these punjabee daddies are closet softies and will certainly do the trade mark about turn and agree to the daughter marrying her chosen punjabee, sweet talking, good dancer type, chikna lover.

So I'm thinking, why not me. I want daddy to send me on europe trip too and have a romance on eurail and miss my train and fall in love. I want to have the certainty of knowing that just because I'm punjabee, I'm guaranteed a saccharine life. I want to psuedo rebel against my parents and then sing and dance and make up with them. I want nephews who are called bunty and chintoo and who have little beanies on their head. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I'm guaranteed a life time time supply of butter chicken and sarson ka saag. I want to be assured of having the confidence to break into a ditty number in the middle mall and have everybody around me dance and telepathically know the song too. I want to know that I can shop at Christian Dior's outlet in St.Troprez because being punjabee means never having to worry about that little thing called money.

So clearly, as I have outlined, being punjabee is the ticket to good life and if any punjabee family, preferabbly one owning manufacturing facilities in Jalandhar and Hoshiarpur, wants to adopt, please pick MEEE!

To summarize, I need a stiff drink

2008-08-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well the last couple of weekends were fine. It was spent in lovely drunken+ amazing conversation haze, so much so that I don't remember the exact details but just remember feeling nice and dopey. Oh also managed to see the latest Rajnikanth Starrer - Kuselan, which I definitely want to forget. VERY BADLY. So much so that, I hear its going to be the weapon of choice to torture people. Now, now don't get me wrong. I'm HUUUUUUUGE Rajni saar fan. I am. and Infact, I'll even say, "ALL HAIL RAJNIKANTH" (Ok that will attract a huge bunch of fervent I'll-worship-the-very-screen-he-appears-on rajni fans to my blog and if I am not kind in my words, they'll vandalize this blog and I'll lose all hope of that book deal but that's just the risk I must take, so bear with me y'all) but that doesn't take way the fact that I lost 3 hours of my life when I could have shopped!!

Why did I go you ask? Go?? I was bloody dragged there by two wily tam fans who said Dark Knight first and then at the ticket counter said "Kuselan". I believe there even was an impromptu jig by one of them tams but I was too shocked to notice these things (or I was slightly tipsy, was alternating between these 2 extremes, you see). The two tams also happened to be RV College seniors, so much nostalgia happened. Infact, you won't believe this, but at the Kuselan screening we even bumped to a classmate of mine at RV and he had even booked his tickets through the internet. The other 2 tams agreed that THAT was desperate but this dude was like a die hard fan so we respect that. We invited him to sit with us and so there we were, 4 RV college alumni, in poona watching a tamil movie. That is just soooo wrong. Which is why I desperately need women friends in this city

RVites are one of the smartest people I know and so the conversations are usually pretty sharp. We talk about world politics, about the olympics, about the darfur crisis, but when alumni gather, there is only one thing to talk about - RV. Where our current classmates are, what they are doing, basically a lottttt of "THAT bastard got into THAT B-school???" stuff. Then there also is talk about who all got married and that just depresses me. I dunno but just thinking of all those fellow 25 year olds running to the altar, gettin hitched and spoiling it for the rest of us (who have to defend our single existence for no reason) is maddening. I mean what's the tearing hurry??

Th other day, I bought a saree for mom which she outrightly rejected. I told ma that it was fine and that I'd use it to wear to the weddings of all my friends. Her face widened and I knew what was coming and I wanted to hit myself for being stoopid. "All your friends are getting married?? Really?? Shouldn't you too?" Why is marriage a necessary stamp of approval? isn't it about a personal choice to be with the person you love? and if that is so then why is it happening around a particular age? statistically speaking (and I can't believe I'm saying this!!) but this should be a fairly random distribution. I don't have anything against my fellow twenty-somethings getting married but it sure is fucking up things for the rest of us. I mean, I'm asked at work, when I plan to get married!! The other day, I was telling someone that I was goin to bangalore for a week and her immediate reaction was to ask if I was getting engaged!! Jeeeesus!!

I hate this slotting. I hate society sometimes for its oppressive and archaic thinking. So when ma was pleading with me to get married, I told her about this theory called the "Odyssey Years" and I BELIEVE in this theory. It appeared in the Op-ED of the New York times last year and it was written by David Brooks, in which he proposed that twenty somethings these days were going through an "Odyssey" phase where instead of following the traditional path of graduate-find job-marry, they were following a path of self-actualization. Where individual achievement takes precendence over starting a family as the big goal. Read the article here

I told mom about this. Spoke quite passionately about my Odyssey phase. She listened to me patiently and then she said, "What do Americans know huh?"

Let this be a lesson

2008-07-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

so the upshot of things was that the Drunken revellery did happen. Over the weekend. And no it wasn't me that got drunk. It was a friend and the best part about dealing with drunken people is that its the best time to wean out secrets from them. And wean out secrets we did although i'm pretty sure that THAT friend will not want to socialize with us ever again and that would truly suck because he was the one with the car. So no more rides, no more late nights, no more random 2 am stops at streetside chaiwallahs, I guess for my sake I better be discreet now.

I'm a social drinker.Yeah ok, not quite a social drinker considering I have a whole bottle of malibu hidden in my closet. I dunno why but I hide things that I don't want to share with anybody in my closet. Just Like my mother actually hmmm. Anyway, so the malibu sits prettily next to my pile of special underwear (too much information??) and I have a swig of it (the malibu not the underwear) every other night. I like it with pineapple juice and that combination is heeavenly! but my drink of choice these days is the dirty martini. A martini makes me feel all grown up and mature. It makes me feel like a woman who has her life sorted and which is extremely sexy as opposed to what I am - a 25 year old who collects happy meal toys

I've never had a particular thing for alcohol tho. I mean it wasn't particularly glamorous because it was never denied to us as kids. My dad loved his beer with fish curry rice and we had a lot of those growing up. Infact my mom completely spoiled beer for me by telling me it was good for the knees!! imagine beer having medicinal properties! I'm glad that my parents were cool about alcohol as it meant that I was regarded as super cool in my school, as I was the only one among them to have tasted all the alcoholic drinks. But their coolness also meant that I could never store my alcohol at home. Infact when I stashed my breezers in our fridge, I would often find those consumed by my folks. Infact my mom even called me at work once and reminded me to get more breezers. Now you know why I moved to pune...

But I've had my drunken tryst with alcohol too. What I describe next doesn't make me look good, but if I wanted to feel good about myself, I'd watch splitsvilla. Anyhow, my drunken binge happened, unfortunately at an office party. The party was at Geofferies and since the alcohol was on the company all of us literally immersed ourselves in an alcohol frenzy. I had 8 tequila shots, 2 large whiskies, 1 glass of wine, 1 cosmopolitan, 2 shots of baileys and then I lost count. Then I also started slapping people around. One of the people I slapped happened to be a senior sales guy and he wasn't particularly pleased with my slapping him and so he poured his wine over head as he was drunk too, see? I don't think I consumed that...and then I passed out on the lawn. When they tried to take me home I started puking my guts out. Another dear friend (I won't say who, you know who you are) who was also drunk and who happened to be in the same cab as mine also started puking but unfortunately inside the cab. The cab driver actually refused to drive any further because of all the puking and demanded that he be paid a thousand bucks more inorder to pay for the cleaning. The onus of pacifying the driver came on the only guy who was not drunk and not puking and I bet at that time he seriously wished that he was one of us puking people.

The next day I felt sick to my stomach and spent the better part of the day in the loo. After that incident I did not drink for a year. Now, in fear of such an event ever ocurring I actually take in just one small drink and make it last the whole evening. Its for the greater good - no puking and no angry cab drivers to deal with

I Got Panda!

2008-07-22T02:51:00.000-07:00

This is a tale of triumph. of inspiration. of overcoming great odds. This is a tale of how I FINALLY got the King-fu Panda Happy Meal toy at McDonalds.

Ok, ok, I realize as someone in my Mid-Twenties, I should not be associating myself with anything MacDonalds. Even remotely, as that would prove detrimental to my cool yuppie chick image and instead should be writing about alcohol, orgies and grass but seriously, I live in Pune, which has not quite recovered from that ill fated rave party (which people still talk about...I mean..C'mon...) so expectations about tales of drunken revelry need to be tempered a lil bit methinks. Also. Also, and this is hugely embarassing, I have a thing for collecting Happy Meal toys. Some ok. Not all *she says, rather defensively*

See, at first I was a huge closet admirer of Happy Meal toys. They were cute alright but I was too embarassed to ask the guy at the counter for fear of being judged. When MacD was rolling out Shrek Characters as Happy Meal toys I was greatly tempted but I resisted myself. Then epiphany happened by way of talking to kay my best gal friend. I told her about my secret craving for Happy Meal toys and found that kay had a whole bloody collection going! and when we were in school, kay was the first one among us to have a living, breathing boyfriend as opposed to some of us (I'm not saying who) who were still into fantasy boyfriends. This fact alone made her an icon in all our eyes and if she was collecting Happy Meal Toys, there is no SHAME in me collecting one too.

So from then on, I became a Happy Meal Nazi. I constantly harassed the MacD staff when they didn't have the "right" toy in stock. I mean they NEVER had shrek in stock. I got the donkey and other assorted characters but NEVER shrek. I personally love the look on their faces when I ask about toys - the "You need to grow up lady!" look, that said I was often perplexed about why I never got the toy of my choice. Are there so many friggin' kids in our country? Why are there so many friggin kids in the first place? Are people having so much sex that kids just happen? why? why? and why me?

When the Kung-Fu Panda toys came out, I again wasn't able to get the panda toy. I enquired in 4 different MacD and still no luck (I can't believe I admitted to that, I sound positively neurotic). Thats when I began to harbour notions that there was a special clique of slimy kids which was working specifically to thwart me in my attempts. Thats when I decided to change strategies. I asked a friend to get me a Happy Meal and to ask if they had the Panda and Guess what? they HAD it!!!. See, see, I told you there was a grand conspiracy.

Ok I sound neurotic but really its more enthusiasm and joy brought on by this coup. And get this, after my friend saw the Panda, he was like "duuuude I should have got one too!"

so moral of this story - Don't ever take me to MacDs and I badly need a drunken revellry jig clearly

Oh Bangalore! or Alternately - Why folks from RVCE will love this post

2008-07-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

Sigh! what can I say, every time I visit Bangalore, I realise how much I miss home. This trip was especially nostalgic, considering I visited my alma mater - R V College of Engineering. I'll get to that later but first the really goody details of my trip. Well goody for me anyway!

First, this trip was unusually bountiful. I got a lot of gifts & serious bling from the loved one from his trip to bangkok and I must say that the man has really REALLY good taste! I got a fully ensembled black dress and by fully I mean it even came with a chic bracelet, bling-bling necklace and get this, a CLUTCH PURSE. The whole look was so classy and 50s chic that for a moment, a brief fleeting moment, I felt like Marlene Dietrich. sigh

Ok I'll stop but this trip had lots of good food too. That should interest you all. We went to a restaurant called Take 5 on 100ft road which is supposed to be a jazz restaurant. The ambience was very classy and very Manhattan type-y. The food was EXCELLENT. I mean, even as I write this, I long for their fish fingers in tartar sauce. mmmmmm. They even serve Belgium Beer, which was something I tried for the first time. Apparently belgium beer is "Alive" like all good wines. The beer menu had some good choices with good flavours. I mean never thought cinnamon would serve as an ingredient in a beer! But the big disappointment was the music. They call themselves a Jazz bar and they play U2. Sad that.

But really, do you know what I like about places like these? that these places are generally good conversation enablers. The music is not too loud, the food is amazing, the alcohol too is just right and if the company is good, it makes for stimulating & memorable conversations. Nag and Gowday, my two best buds from ice-tea days in college joined us for one such stimulating dinner. I like the fact that although we have graduated from ice-tea to alcohol, the conversations are just as stimulating, if not more. Oh I also found out that Gowday, by virtue of his job, could get me Rahul Bhattacharya's (Remember Pandits from Pakistan? my rave in my previous post?) number! Good now I know someone who knows someone who has written a book!

Now onto my trip to RV. I had to go there for some mark sheet related work. Found that the place has had a dramatic makeover! As visible from the grand entrance below -

But thankfully one thing hasn't changed drastically - the RVCE canteen. It's still the same hole-in-the-wall place next to the mech department.

Although inflation has caught up with these guys too. Check out the prices for the mini meal, puri-saagu and Idli -vada! a mini meal costs 14 bucks!! dude it was 10 in my time. lol

But inspite of the price rise, the humble mini meal has retained its ..er..essence. It still looks and tastes exactly like I remember it. Its even served by the same people! their expressions too are exactly how I remember them! I owe my engineering existence to this plate of marvel *giggle*

Did I say nothing in the canteen has changed? I'm sorry, something has. They have openly embraced corporate branding. As a marketer, I couldn't be more prouder of my alma mater. It positively warms the cockles of my heart.

But not all branding activity seems to have succeeded. The on campus Coffee Day has been shut down apparently. Sigh. RV Without Coffee Day? What will attract those poor outstation folks to the college then? It was our only plug! and our only salvation towards hipness. Alas!

RV sure was fun. It might not have been one of the best places to do engineering, but I'll vouch for this with every ounce of my being, it was the best place to meet people with character & personality!

Look Out World, She's got a book and she's not afraid to throw it

2008-06-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

Damn Right!

Guess what? Yesterday I spent the whole day reading Amitav Ghosh's Calcutta Chromosome. Yes, Even at work (during break times ofcourse!) and then I ran back home as soon as could to finish it. I EVEN (and this makes me sad retrospectively) told the loved one "sorry baby, I'm reading a book, can I call you..er..tomorrow?". It was about 3 AM when I came to the last page and found that this book has the LAMEST, most Fuck-All ending of all times.

I HATE it when a book makes me feel stupid, more so when its absolutely absorbing in every page except the last. It literally made me go HUH? or rather a humongous HUH???

And the worse part is that I like Amitav Ghosh's previous works - Glass Palace, Hungry Tide, In Antique Lands etc. I can't understand why this one turned this way and I've spent the last two hours deciphering the ending on the net, but nobody seems to have a clue. What's even more frustrating is the glowing reviews. Like all of them literary types have understood exactly what the book was all about.

I did like the book tho but the ending just didn't make sense and I felt like calling the author up and asking for an explanation and ofcourse for my money to be returned. If anybody has read this book and more importantly has understood the ending. CALL MEEE

Lately, I've reading a lot of books with Fuck-All endings and its like, I've hit a lean patch equivalent of the literary world. There was Candace Bushnell's 4 blondes before this and that too had a lame ending. But the silver lining in all this is that I am Reading. That I am reading atleast one book a month like I resolved to. I'm glad I can still stay till 4 am reading books when I have work the next day when I know I'll all be bleary eyed, just like it used to be in college. Nothing makes me more happier than curling up with a good book and losing all track of time and space.

Inspite of my whinging today there have been loads of good books that I have read.

*Drumroll please, for the lady recommends.........*

1. Reluctant Fundamentalist - By Mohsin Hamid: sweet, short good read
2. Boys From Brazil - By Ira Levine: Gripping thriller, OMG ending. Loved It
3. Atonement - By Ewan McEvan: Well Written, absorbing. Felt good after reading it
4. Pundits From Pakistan - By Rahul Bhattacharya: My favourite read of the year. I'm not a sports fan but this guy made cricket absorbing for me. Wonderfully constructed sentences on cricket and life in Pakistan. I can't recommend it enough
5. The In-between world of Vikram Lall - By M G Vassanji: Another well written book on the life of 3 asian kids in post colonial Kenya. I'm a sucker for stories with strong political bacdrops so much so that more than a backdrop, it ends up being a strong character in the book.

I have 3 more books on the cards that come highly recommended - Manil Suri's Life of Shiva, Vikram Seth's A Suitable Boy (OMG...Yeah I know...I've still not read it.. so shoot me ok?) and Orhan Pamuk's Snow. I hope I'll be able to finish these by the year.

What have you guys been reading? Any recommendations?

Comment Allez Vous?

2008-06-24T03:08:00.000-07:00

Did I mention doom in the last post? Well things have already begun to happily unravel for me. Its time for my annual mid year crisis. I lost my debit card. Well I thought I lost it anyhow and I cancelled the card. And because Citibank sends a replacement card with such alacrity, I found myself consuming copious amounts of Vada Pavs at Joshi Vada Walle for lack of money for a proper dinner. This is the same joint that attracts Auto wallahs and skoda driving peoples in equal proportions and yes, that’s what I said to console myself in this state of temporary penury.

Things always go haywire for me around June time. Work starts getting hectic, I fall sick a zillion times – and what I hate the most – the combination of those two together. Ever since I’ve started working, I’ve noticed that my most demanding projects happen around June-July AND when I’m at my sickest. That’s life telling me – “Deal with it super girl”. This has happened to me every year for the past 3 years that I’m beginning to suspect a collusion between top management and God. It’s as regular as that 3:30 PM email from boss on Friday afternoons.

Well work has involved a lot of traveling too. It took me to Mahabaleshwar where I spent a rain soaked weekend in a resort that had no cell phone signal. The only place where there was signal was a solitary tree near the pool. Things got so desperate that I was seen juggling a laptop, a phone and a gigantic umbrella, sending emails amidst a downpour under that particular tree. I did that for 2 days and when I was checking out, the hotel manager asked me what I was trying to do exactly. When I told him that I was sending emails and that I’m the consummate worker bee and very dedicated to work and do not mind emailing under desperate conditions, he tells me that there was wi-fi in the lobby.
I wanted to KILL HIM!

Work has also taken to me to a lot of five star hotels and the best, most awesome things about these hotels is the most awesome complimentary breakfasts. I dunno whether it reflects on my upbringing, but I feel like an Ethiopian famine survivor at the sight of so much free food. And food that I my bleak, solitary life doesn’t ordinarily see in one place. All to tuck in as much as I ever want. Sigh. I want to die and go to heaven at this time. A heaven that consists of Bacon, pastries, apricot jams, grape fruit juice, scrambled eggs, potato wedges, pancakes and maple syrup…sigh

Work has also made a mini mafia don out of me. I find myself yelling and making bizarre sentences like “I need that consigment in my office even if you have to sacrifice your life for it” or even contemplating on the alcohol consumption of about a 100 middle aged men. Don’t ask. It’s a lot of stress and I end up getting pissed off quite often. I can literally feel the muscles in my forehead stretching.

And sometimes, because I get so stressed, I stress about being stressed and wonder if I’ll be part of the statistic that takes BP pills below the age of 30. As long as I have constant access to complimentary star-hotel breakfasts, I think Not!

God ...I thought you were on my side

2008-05-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

I have to write, even thought its 2 am in the night. I have to write because this restlessness is killing me.

I always get this way when the season is about to change, actually when the year hits June because, I'm thinking to myself, dear lord its JUNE!!. June is like my time for a mid-year crisis. All of a sudden my birthday is looming, and although most people like the idea of their birth being celebrated, I don't because it terrifies me that I'm getting older. this time I'll be hitting the quarter-century and apparently as a girl in india, thats peak "shelf life". The last chance to get married after which, its all downhill apparently. Usually, I'd scoff at the mere thought of this, but now, I can't help but wonder if it indeed will be downhill.

I can't help but think of the last time I was deliriously happy. It was May 26th 1999, I remember the date very clearly because the 1999 world cup was goin on and India were playing Sri Lanka that day and licked them so royally that the lankans wished that the earth would open up and swallow them. That was not why I was deliriously happy though. My 10th boards results were out that day and I went to school to find out my results in trepidation and anxiety. To my utter joy I found that I had topped the school. I felt on top of the world. I felt like God's anointed child. I felt so high and the world was at my feet. I honestly have never felt this way again or may be I've grown and become more mature. Or so I would like to thing. But that thing that day made me want to love everybody, be a nice person and want to truly love the world because I was so happy.

I dunno if I'll ever get such a moment again but I really, truly want one. Every year I wait for a day where my life truly changes and moves on to another plane. A moment that transforms me for the good. last year it was the move to pune. I guess I did it solely because I wanted a major change. theres nothing as demoralizing as the slow grind of status quo.

May be I'm thinking too much, after all, a date change is nothing to get a panxiety attack over (panic & anxiety attack together) but thats the thing with me, I do think too much. I think in sentences. You know I mentally correct my thoughts if the grammar isn't right? and when I think, I usually concern myself with the worst possible scenario because thats the situation thats really tough to deal with right? and thus my agony.

I forsee nothing but doom at the end of this year.

More Notes From China Trip

2008-05-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

I know, I know it's been a month since I came back and my visa to milk this story has run out but things have been quite hectic and I'm in Hyderabad (Oh the new airport totally rocks) and a colleague's T-shirt has inspired me to blog so there...phew! and Also, I made a lot of mental notes which I thought I'd share and besides which one of you smart asses has been to china eh? and by the way things are going, you might soon end up working for the commies and then you'll thank me for these interesting notes.

So, for the interest of future prosperity, here it is in bullet point format:

1. Actually, I'll sneak in some singapore vignettes too, coz you see the genius me managed to sneak in some stop over time at Singapore. See apparently they let you into the country if you have a valid "white" country visa like Australia, USA, UK you get the point right? This visa is free and its diff. from visa on arrival

2. Singapore is mighty expensive. Fie on people who shop in singapore. Laught at them and tell them about this friend you know who got awesome stuff in china for just Rs 500. No kidding, when i got out of the airport, I went to the Raffles City Mall (but naturally since we are such a mall rat) and I almost died to find T-shirts costing 80 sing dollars. Thats like 3000 bucks. eesh. And if anybody raves about Topshop and the likes, again, tell them about this great friend you know who got Prada rip offs for Rs 500 in China so its really no big deal. (thats me btw, if anybody was wondering who this friend was)

(as an aside, I've always wondered about these supposed "friends" when people reference them in to bring credibility to some incredulous claim. Who ARE these people? how did they make it into common floklore and why do not have names and more importantly why am I not in this clique, when clearly they are looked upon with awe and stifled envy)

3. California Roll is not really really Sushi as it does not contain any raw fish and Imagine, just before I found this out, I declared to my bemused host that I aboslutely lurved lurved LOVED Japanese food especially, the california roll. Sometimes I have an IQ of a tomato

4. In china now and it must be mentioned that the chinese (Yes we are making sweeping statements here and that's not politicaly correct but who am I to be politically correct about the commies) come off as rude and quite often you are not sure if they are yelling at you or trying to sell you something or both. Assume the latter. Coz rude is when they try to spit at you for quoting a far below price when bargaining. This happened to me at the Great Wall and I escaped unhurt and without spittle

5. Language is a HUGE problem and the only way to get around is to put on a "Stoopid Foreigner Face" (Yeah thats when an IQ of Tomato helps) . Although, sign language may not help you much. The chumps at singapore airport threw my contact lens solutions off and I had to roam around the streets of Beijing looking for contact lens solution. Fun it was not, as, to explain, what I needed, I pretty often had to pretend like I had a horrible eye disease and hence needed a solution. Get it? EYE SOLUTION? No? they didn't either and everywhere I went, they got out some ghastly looking herbs. Till finally someone told me to go to a spectacle shop

6. Languge is however not a barrier when you are shopping oddly enough. Who knew the potential of the humble calculator to unify two races. Especially between that which won't give a bargain and that which can't live without a bargain. I got that from russel peters and he's so bloody spot on. When you tell the vendors an outrageous price, they all go NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If the calculator can diminish the language barrier, you have no idea what the mention of Gucci can do to you. Do not for heavens sakes yell out Gucci or Rolex, for you'll be swamped with vendors of fake goods and they'll pull you, assault you, pummel you till you buy it from them

7. Chinese are good at faking things. They can imitate the crap out of anything. I heard that they even had imitation Ferraris. They are soo good at faking, that one day they'll even fake your orgasm for you.

Ok I've been dying to put that out there for ages (hehehe)

8. The food is heavenly but why the Chopsticks??? and who thought that eating food with 2 sticks was a good idea and why did a billion people buy the idea? I say this not out of contempt but out of frustration. Lets say that I was not exactly adroit with the chopsticks and lot of good food slipped through the cracks. A LOT of food. Why can't they copy the good things about western civilization, like Spoon for example?

9. If you see a Bank of China gathering, prostitute yourself if need be and get inside somehow. For these guys dish out the whole deal. Opera and complete string orchestra at the Great Wall of china complete with champagne and stuff. I saw this and I really wanted to part of the chinese creme de la creme. Only briefly and my democratic, human rights self reared its pretty head again

10. Thats the things about China, it brings your nationality and culture into sharper focus. You don't feel like an individual but like some kind of ambassador dressed in dowdy tourist-y clothes. May be its because I'm a proud Indian and there's so much being bandied about the two countries. May be its because I live in a democratic society or may be its because they fucked us in 1965. May be its all of the above Or may be I really do have the IQ of a tomato

Yo China!

2008-04-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well, back in India after a whirl wind trip to China and what can I say except that China took my breadth away! Yes, I got swept away by the commies (literally too, on Tian'nmen square, but that's another story altogether). China is vulgarly showing off. From the moment you enter the international terminal of the beijing airport (a yummy looking building by Norman foster) to the ride through the streets, and the awesome thorough fares that beijing's roads are, its plain - the commies ARE showing off

Beijing International Airport - Its effin' Huge!

I'll write in detail about my trip but here's a quick list on what makes china fabulous and why it may also suck sometimes..

Why China is Faaaabulous!

1. The Food! - ok if you're the typical indian who likes getting assaulted by Indian spices then subtle chinese cuisine is not for you, but if you're not, its effing heavenly. I was quite surprised by the variety in their vegetarian food. Trust me folks, this is one country that takes its beans seriously! I've never seen beans being manipulated like these guys do. The taste is subtle, sweet & sourish, crunchy and fresh but NEVER spicy. Thats why its awesome. It never assaults your taste buds. It grows on you with every bite

That's a Fish with its mouth open

More exotic food pics

And oh we had the Peking Duck too, which the locals were very Meh about. We went to a place that was famous for its roast duck and it was soo famous that it had 2 menus!! yes you heard me TWO menus. One for the average crowd and one for the high rollers. I swear its all true. The menus were very corporate brochure type-y and had elaborate images and description. The duck dinner was a 24 course meal! by the end of the 12th course, there even was an effing mid-meal dessert! who's heard of a mid meal dessert. Anyway the food kept coming on a revolving table and I kept sampling everything that came my way in a touristy fashion that clearly amused my hosts.

2. Shopping! - This place has the ability to bring out the maniac in you. Yes you'll be surprised by how easily you part with your yuans because everything is so fucking cheeeeaaap. Soo cheap, that you want to cry that you don't live here or didn't bring a bigger suitcase or don't have a bigger budget or combinations of the the above three. The standard price for evrything is 100 yuan..that about 500 bucks. That will get you a fabulous fake Dolce & Gabana bag, 2 fabulous leather boots, A hot looking Jacket and 2 4 GB pen drives. Almost makes me want to emigrate!

But shopping here is almost like a torrid love affair. You've gotta bargain like crazy and stick to your ground no matter what. The thumb rule I discovered, was 10% of the quoted price - thats generally the OK price. So first they tell you the ridiculous, gargantuan price thats when you gotta put on a zen like face and put forward 10% of the said price (All thru calculator ofcourse). Then their faces bulge out like a fish and they say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. They then reduce the price by half. but you still have stick to your price. More cajoling and price dropping later, you have to act like you've had enough and pretend to walk out in a huff and thats when they pull you back in and literally hold on to you and assault you. But you still have to be tough and stick to 10%. After all the drama both parties agree to the 10% price, after which everyone agrees that Indians are really good bargainers

Yes its high drama and almost feels like sex, only instead of "Yes! Yes! Yes!" you're saying "100!, 100!,100!"

3. The Heritage - Beijing has the most amazingingly preserved heritage structures. The Forbidden city, Summer Palace and Temple of heaven are breadth taking. Lessons to all indians - no mutilation of any building anywhere. I guess in china they shoot such people

Why China Sucksss

1. No English - Oh yeah, that can screw you up big time. I arrived in Beijing at 2 AM and the cab driver couldn't speak english and didn't know my hotel. Luckily I had with me a woman from WHO who was used such language barriers and put on an expert "Stupid Foreigner Face" that the cop directing traffic at the airport helped us out. All in sign language

2. No sense of service - these guys can also be extremely rude and sadly, do not have a sense of service. Methinks that its more like crude than rude but that attitude is not going to win hearts. My hotel dudes turned out to be cheeky and gave a room far below the standard of what I was paying for. Its only after I complained and showed them their own brochure they upgraded me. It seems like an isolated incident, but most people dealing with tourists like Shopkeepers, peddlers, taxi drivers etc were unusually rude

3. No sense of fun : You know sometimes you get the "Jolly Feeling" from a country...like these blokes are ok? You don't get that in china. People are serious bordering on grumpy and it feels like everyone is wearing the nation's pride on their sleeve when they are interacting with you and not like an individual. Its hard to explain, but it feels like nationality is driving a wedge between two individuals. that is truly sad

But still got some awesome memories - My first authentic chinese meal by the temple of heaven, listening to a chinese opera on the great wall of china (Bank of china - the chinese big kahuna bank was having its annual get together on the great wall and they had the entire shindig - a ensemble orchestra and an opera singer), Shopping at Yashov shopping market, handing out an indian 10 ruppee note to a shop vendor as a trade off, eating sweet spicy apricots, getting swept of the pavement by a marching cadre of the Red army at the Tian'nenmen Square and ofcourse fake Gucci Bag Sellers :)

Much Excitement is happenning

2008-04-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, yes

I've got to be brief because we're writing this from the departure louge of the brand new Mumbai International Airport. Oh yes that's excitement number one.

We're travelling to china people!! to Beijing! Imagine that. Imagine the possibilities of me blogging about the commies. Yes I'll try to provided I can wade the language barrier, which, I got a taste of, when trying to confirm my hotel reservation. I'm still not sure what they have booked me as. Yes I have a complicated now but is that complicated? so the 5 people who read my blog, please check out my travel blog..err...I think it is... Called Garam Chai

Excitement # 2 came in the form of coming fourth in the Brand Equity Quiz- Pune round and in the process getting guess what? A DIAMOND RING!!! yes and its doesn't even fit!! My first ring and it comes from a quiz, not that I'm complaining, but it sounds soo geeky...

Excitement #3 - getting stuck in the lift for 45 mins. I always wanted it to happen to me. Its such a creepy and weird thing. Well this one was ok. I was stuck inside with another guy. Luckily his cell phone had signal so he called his friend and the whole security jing bang came to rescue us. I felt like I was in my favourite movie - Speed. You know - the opening scene where Keanu Reeves save all those people from a Lift. Its like my all time favourite scene ever. Sadly no keanu reeves tho'

Ok gotta rush people, take care and look out for tales from the People's Republic. And no, I'm not taking my "Save Tibet" T-shirt.

Still Rolling

2008-03-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking...hoping..rather, that this time "Rolling" refers to marijuana and rolling joints and not about that house hunting shit that I was talking about..but..sorry..no, we will go back and dissect that topic even more because guess what? there have been fresh developments. Yes, I have shifted houses AGAIN and now I'm a World Champion House Shifter and boy, can I pack, I can soo pack that I think I should make it a full time occupation.

Turns out that the only thing worse than a single woman house hunting in pune is TWO women house hunting together in pune. This time it’s not the society that is to blame, although it continues to be predictable and be horrendously evil, this time its US - us women. I teamed up with a good friend to go house hunting inspite of already having moved recently because she - the good friend, wanted to move out from her PG and I was feeling all chuffed that I was finally goin to have a cool roomate. I always wanted to have that fantasy roomate. You know where the roomate is this boho-chic, extroverted type, where she'd take the nerd me to all the cool parties- yes THAT roomate. Although this chick wasn't thaat boho and stuff, I was still excited about getting a roomate.

So anyway, we house hunted together and we found a really good deal where the house was all furnished, and for the rent that was being asked, it was as good as MTV CRIBS. So we both were really excited and right when we were about to sign the lease at the broker's, she backed out because, hear this, her "Parents did not want her to move out". This was really it and long story short, I exploded, she exploded, and obviously the friendship exploded and in this combustible mess, I had an epiphany. Actually two. First, most women, if competing for the same prize, HATE each other and second, most women, are actually very weak decision makers.

I’ll explain epiphany two before I lose my last remaining girl friend. I’m not sure if it’s the result of upbringing or self-confidence, but most women I know run all their decisions by their parents. I’ve never seen guys do such a thing but this aspect troubles me. If women can’t decide for themselves how they should live, how they should spend their money, where they should study, what company to work for, no wonder their parents are also decide who their husbands should be. I believe parents are the root cause for this. They bring their girls up on such a tight leash that the girls themselves are unable to take a firm decision without the approval of their parents, in turn feeding the insecurity of the parents with regards to their kids. I think a strong able parent would be one who lets his girl go, one who gives her enough independence to confidently make her own decisions.

Epiphany one is no brainer really. All women HATE each other period. If they are the best of friends today, come tomorrow and they both are competing for the same thing, all bets are off. But then all women tend to take things personally and really can’t look at a situation objectively. Not like men, who can cuss the hell out of each other and can still have a friendly banter on Tendulkar’s batting a moment later. Women hold deadly grudges. I know that because I had a major blow up with almost every woman I know here and it’s true! we all can be quite the bitches.

And suddenly I’m having epiphany three. No wonder I studied Mechanical engineering, where I was pretty much the only girl in the class, No wonder I like working with men more than I do with women, no wonder my closest friends are men, its not other women, its Men! I expect these women to act like men, be independent and fierce like men and it is unfair, given how women are brought up in this country, but I just wish my tribe would be more confident and sure of itself and that sometimes, it's OK to act like men

Life, Randomness and Horrific A-HA moments

2008-03-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

Question: Does it mean that you love your work when you feel guilty about blogging when you're absolutely bored by..er..work?
So...this utterly random day has been puntuated by certain horrific A-HA moments. Horrific
A-HA means stuff that I should have known but was stoopid enough not have figured out sooner. Thats why the horrific part. but this one takes the cake:

Did you know that you can actually convert the case of all the letters in MSWord WITHOUT TYPING THEM OVER? Did you? I just learnt that. All my life I've been cursing MicroSoft for not having such an option, turn out they do. Bastards. Now they make me feel stoopid

There were other comp related stuff - like how to turn an awesomely massive Hi-resolution file into a oh-so-easily-emailable low resolution file, Also and my favourite, how to go directly to your desktop at the click of a button..ah..lot of geeky stuff, that I was clearly too cool for in college.

Where we are that proverbial rolling stone that gathers no moss

2008-02-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

...except for the fact that I don't want to be that proverbial rolling stone. I like my roots just fine, but this dratted world just won't let me have any and instead I find myself writing this in a new house and not in that not-so-perfect apartment that I lived in. Which obviously means that this post will be all about spewing venom on house hunting and what a bitch that can be. Lets begin shall we?

The danger to the world isn't terror groups or virulent diseases, it seems, the danger to society is infact the single woman. The reason I was getting evicted in the first place was that I was living alone. My insidious landlord had the nerve to tell me that even though I could pay the increased rent, I had to evict as she wanted a "Family". That word has been my bane throughout the process. Landlords, are perfectly normally people, till I tell them that "its just me". Then their eyes bulge out, they swallow a dozen times and ask me how I'm going to the pay the rent "all by myself". At this point I've heard this refrain so many times that I want to blurt out "By pimping myself mother fucker" but no we can't, we are desperate. Thats when it seems cruel. Cruel how single independant woman are treated.

We work as hard as anybody else but its so unfair sometimes. If you're a woman and your single, the society we live in feels so bloody threatened by it. they want to marry you off, they want to pair you with somebody and if they can't, they want you to just disappear. Nobody asks a guy when he plans to get married even if hes on the wrong side of 35 but for a woman and if shes 25, she over the hill. Its business of the society, it seems to police the single woman - to monitor what shes doing, who she goes out with, who are friends her and oh on the business of friends all the landlords made it perfectly clear that boys were not allowed. Nada. no way. I want to know if bachelors face the same ordeal? Do people tell them that they can't have girl friends over? or is it assumed that boys have raging hormones anyway and they can't control them, its the women who are susceptible and ergo by this insane logic they should be policed.

WTF!!

Kill me. Kill me right now

2008-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Ok. Its not been a good 2008 so far. I hate January. Its the meanest month of the year. Its like the Monday of the year. You have to be good again, get ready to go through the routine all over again. Can't we forward to september please, with all the fabulous discounts and all?

The last few days of 2007 were very good though. I was in bangalore and I managed to to do a lot of fun things. I met up with old friends and ofcoursed gorged on marvellous food. I indulged in those cheese balls at LOR. I do that EVERY time I visit B'lore. I also got some Japanese food this time, by dragging 2 hapless friends from school to Harima and as one of them was vegetarian, I got cursed till 2070. Ok I'll shrivel up but I had the most amazing Ice tea at Citrus. Its seriously the best the Ice tea ever!!

Ok, so bangalore was very good and sadly one had to return to pune (Bengalooooru why did I ever leave youuuuu ) and as if to rub salt into injury, my geyser blew. It happens apparently. and to compensate for the lack of hot water for my daily ablutions, I turned to my trusted electric kettle, where, painstakingly we got to about half the bucket when that too, believe it or not..BLEW!

WTF!!!

so not a right start right? going without bathing? but we have learnt to be quite resourceful, living here in pune. So rightly assuming that if I turned any more electric thingummy jig on, I'd blow up the whole apartment, I decided to shower in the gym instead. Yes, every morning for the last few days. So it was 20 mins gym and 40 mins blissful shower and I even started reaching work well in time. I almost did not want to fix this situation, given that matters of hygiene were now pushing my weight loss movement. But I had to and my electrician (who is now on my speed dial, replacing family) fixed it and charged me a bomb.

This is what I hate. Being dependant on somebody and then have them rip you off 'cause you are helpless and desperate. I know now why women marry. Not because they're in love or want to have babies, but because they need a man to deal with all the riff-raff, to fix things when they blow up, to sort that leaking tap out and ofcourse to open hard-to-open jars.

I have a bottle of Apple - Cinnamon jam that I CANNOT open. I have tried everything - teeth, knife, teeth again, candle flame...but it just refuses to budge.

I'm thinking now, that I single handedly moved shop from bangalore to pune, I wrangled with the best of brokers and managed to remain sane and got a decent house (not so sure now though with all the elctricals and all), I even fought and got DSL connection for my entire building, I fight with wretched auto drivers everyday but I can't, I can't for the life of me open a Jam bottle.

Will someone end my misery by driving a stake through me? Please?

where we take a break from what is a decidedly dull day at work

2007-12-25T21:16:00.000-08:00

and oh I forgot to mention, the boss is also out so yay!

Its december and its time to appreciate the lazy sun methinks. Its true enough for me atleast. I'm a sun child and if anybody is a fan of the sun, its me but ever since I started working, I've never had the time to look at up at the clear blue sky and appreciate the warmth on the skin..till its december. I think I know why. By this time, I'm exhausted, I'm running out of steam, I've taken the hint, I'm done trying and that's when I have the time to look up at that fatheaded sun and wonder about all the glorious days I've missed inorder to keep up with the rat race

December is also my favourite month because for me its the month for "giving up". Yes we are in loser mode today but hey its december, and I have January to be the "employee of the month". December for me has always been the month to wrap up things, a kind of emotional expiry date where I just have to get somethings done- like finish certain books I've promised myself to get done with. But the big problem with december is that it runs out very fast. its like the year too can't wait to run out and its followed by fat old January where you have stand upright again, be infallible and make lofty promises of redemption to yourself.

Well believe it or not, I intended this to be funny. Oh well, I guess it all stems from being incredibly tired and exhausted. Its hard fending for yourself. The dark side of living on your own I guess. Its fun but it has also been tough dealing with not having anybody to depend on anybody but yourself. Like for instance the other day when I was incredibly sick and the fuse blew. That was it really, I was ready to crumble and go back home. But no I couldn't. I had to go out into the chilly night and find an electrician and get the job done. Oh dad, I miss you so much!
The breakdown of the machinery is so hard to deal with. You are juggling so many things and when one of them goes kaput it all crashes down.But all said and done it has been incredibly fun - discovering a new state, a new bunch of people whose language I barely understand, even though I do feel like an ATM machine all the time (You wont believe the amount of bills I have to pay!).

Its been a good year too, I feel like I've been more adventurous and I've definitely gotten a fair bit reading done, so all hum.

I hope everyone out there has a great year ahead and Happy festivus everybody!

What's up with the world?

2007-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Seriously...

What do you expect when you order Juice? Fruit in liquid form right? Liquid being the operative word here? but noooooo. That's not how it translates when you order Watermelon juice apparently. I got chunks of watermelon in my "juice" tonight. Who invented this stuff? who was this being over smart and thus being very stoopid. And who, pray tell, likes chunks in their supposed "juice" when factually its not even juice - the way GOD INTENDED IT TO BE, YOU FOOLS!

and thus she ranted

It first happened to me in Bangalore, the shanti sagar in forum to be precise. I innocuously ordered their watermelon juice. Not making much of it, because technically technically ordering a juice is not supposed to jolt you out of your senses. But not so with the accursed watermelon it seems. I got something that was in between pulp and juice. and then as if to add a dash of mockery the guy slipped in a spoon instead of a straw!.

Spoon! Spoon! are we eating our juice these days? are we? are we??? (*makes hyper ventilating noise*)

Not one to take such things lying down, I go, "ahem...I ordered for water melon juice, there are pieces in my juice, can you please put it in the mixer again please?". To which, the guy at the counter gave me this "are you toying with me lady? cause I've had a reaal busy day" look. I was told that that was the way they served their water melon "juice" and that I'd just have to lump it (pun. heh)

As that was too much for my assaulted senses, I told him in my no-nonsense-will-punch-if-it-comes-to-it voice that I don't want chunks in my juice. So guess what he did? he simply removed all the pieces, took the spoon back and gave the now much reduced in quantity juice. Yes and I didn't even get a straw.

Today, it happened again. In another city. I shudder to think if this is an epidemic. But this time I lumped it (Note to self - definitely over doing the pun thing) and ate the juice. yes you heard it. ATE it

What's happening to world. What kind of a society do we live in? am I going to see noodles in fried rice now?

And thats not her only pet peeve right now

Damn straight. I have been going to gym for the past 5 days, working out for 2 hours, sweating it out and what do I have to show for it? a grand weight loss of 500 grams!

Things just suck. oh sorry, no they don't, you're supposed to lump it with a spoon. bah!

Maaja Macho

2007-10-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

I'm liking this maharashtra place. September to December seems like one big party and by party I mean huge makeshift pandals, loud muisc from cheap speakers and ofcourse season's discounts. Yes the latter is often a source for cheap thrills these days. Like when I found out that the Ras malais had been discounted due to navratra.

This place has been really weird for me because back home I've never seen festivities being taken really seriously. by anyone. All it meant was - it's a holiday and you don't have to work. Here it is different. festivities mean a great deal (I mean traffic Jam causing big deal) to the people here. The mood is cheerful and lithe and already people seem to have given up on reforming themselves. In bangalore I've seen this "Oh Screw it" thingie kick in only in december. I dunno why but for the past couple of years I've felt really immune to these sort of things, like I've grown up and become too old to be excited for these things. But here it's different but I guess it's the thrill of being in a new place.

Well anyway, the main point of this post was to announce to all about my first ever Danndiya do. ok that sounded like a song. But it was fun. So much that I wished I had some serious Gujrati lineage. Why don't we south indians do such things. Nine days of dancing? what could be more fun? Like all festive things Navratri is also big deal here. I'll tell you how much.Listen to this, they blocked an entire road, A gujrathi band set up their ensemble (most noticeably of which was a huge loud speaker) and then all the residents from all the colonies came out and did the daandiya- right in the middle of the road. It's like how they say in fairy tales, "then they all danced merrily", yes, only this one was real and in the middle of the road.

But coming back to my daandiya sojourn, like I said it was most fun. It was fun get all dressed up and doing the daandiya steps, which isn't all that tough btw. And oh, must mention that I got my daandiya sticks all thanks to MacDonalds. MacDs had this thing where every combo came with a pair of daandiya sticks. Needless to say that the combos were flying thick and fast here. That was another of my season's special cheap thrills.

Another reason to celebrate in october was my b'day. I turned 24 in a city other than bangalore for the first time there were 5 new friends at the dinner table. they threw me a surprise party and smeared cake on my face. so all very nice.

The True Indian Idol

2007-09-24T23:54:00.000-07:00

It's hard not be affected by the current festive season when you're in a place like pune. Maharashtra loves, nay LOVES lord Ganesha. That's truth apparent, going by the numerous pandals in this place, infact the street I live on has 6 big pandals. All this is new to me and I look upon with wondrous eyes, as in the place from where I come from, Ganesh Chaturthi begins and ends on the same day.Indeed the other day, when somebody was talking about the traffic jams caused by "Visarjans" I was like, "Oh C'mon, you've only got to bear it for a day" (*make a sound here for getting a fact soo wrong*)

No, here in pune, Ganesh Chaturthi is the baap of all festivals (That's me trying to be local, in days to come, I promise to infuse my "writings" with the local flavour). I don't know how the system works but everyone who is anyone puts up a pandal. Infact the biggest pandal on my street is sponsored by a political party and there's even a booming audio that lists all the top brass of the party, Lord Ganesh too is mentioned somewhere and after that, the whole thing flashes with 70's disco lighting, that, oddly reminded me of Mithun Chakravarthy numbers. Then Ofcourse there is the Music. If you are not belting out the latest dance number, you are not a true pandal it seems. Yeah there are the devotional songs and stuff but one seriously needs good music to work the crowds. I swear, I heard a pandal playing Kevin Little's "Turn me on" and this song has lyrics that go - "And then she said to me Boy just push that thing Push it harder back on me" - makes you wonder no??

But really its all nice. Festive season always makes me happy. There are bright lights everywhere, good discount in stores, people too are generally happier and less snarly and overall the mood is generally cheerful. Infact, the mood it seems has even crept into your ATMs. Yes, I kid you not, my atm had a full fledged pandal thing going - sans the music and the lighting ofcourse (see below). Get cash, do puja, get out.

I do love the times we live in. Its sooo much more amusing.

P.S: The photo above was clicked by my friend sim who was slightly amused that I'd want to put it on my blog.

And they say this blog is "Self Obsessed"

2007-09-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

I'll try for this not to be a rant. I said "t-r-y"

But what is it with the world and my name?? Everytime I tell anybody my name they look at me with utter befuddlement, with a look that says "Are you serious??". If I'm on the phone and I tell my name, there's this obvious pregnant pause at the other end and I know that the person is taking time to process the whole name, as if I'd said something like "Anastasia Chavetdatze".

I've had it with this behaviour. The other day I was on the phone with a vendor and I told her my name and she was like "Really? what does it mean?". That's another thing, the pregnant pause is always followed by the meaning of my name. I've not heard anybody asking anybody else for the meaning of their names. I don't ask anybody for the meaning of their names, but nooooo, when its me, they all want to know what it means and then there's the third step in "the Philosophy of my name" - The contradicting of the meaning. Its not hope but Doubt.

There was this incident (actually there are serveral, but we'll run with this as example) where my teacher and mam argued about my name, when dear old mam had come in to collect the report card. It wasn't pretty.

T: About your daughter's name, Its wrong, how can you call her doubt?
Mam (quite coldly): Its not doubt, its Hope
T: Ofcourse not, its mean doubt, there's no doubt about it hahahahahha
Mam (now positively glowering): I think as mother, I know better
T: Its still not too late to change her name. You could perhaps change it to "Akanksha" Thats not too bad.
Mam: Its still not too late to change your name either

Yeah, Go Mam!!! but I knew I wasn't gonna top the class anytime too soon.

Sigh, there are times I've wished my mother had given me a no brainer bollywood-esque name like Tania or riya. Has anybody asked a Tania what her name means? ofcourse not, it means shit and everyone knows it. I've gone to mam and complained about it and she feels kinda guilty too. She collects evidence of my name and scours the internet for my rare namesakes. There was this incident at frankfurt airport, where upon telling my name, the guy I was a making random conversation with said "oh! doesn't it mean hope?", I could have jumped over the table and kissed him for saying that. Suddenly, my existence was legitemized. I felt normal. and when I told mam about it, she wanted to kiss him too.

What snapped within me was yesterday. 4 complete strangers, at pragati maidan, spoilt delhi brats all, laughing upon hearing my name and making fun of it infront of me. Them being spoilt brats was incidental. It was everybody. Teachers, Classmates, Peers, Bosses, colleauges, everybody has done it. Made fun of it. Purposely made a mess of prouncing it wrong.They don't know that by doing it, by questioning my name, they are not only mocking mocking me but also mocking the two people who gave me the name and its just not done.

So, Fuck you all. There I've said it. FUCK YOU. If you think you know better

Yay Me!!!

2007-09-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

Well six months ago I did something unfathomable. well unfathomable to most people who do not know me. I moved to another city, to live by myself, to be independant, to fry my own bacon as it were (ok that sounded corny) and here I am six months hence, in an apartment of my own, in a city thats less alien and more friendly, my own TV, my own bloody land line even, did I say I'm sooo proud of me?

When I first moved, everybody, asked me if I was crazy to move. I mean even people in poona asked me why I did it. Well the truth be told, i don't know why. Its something that I felt ought to be done. To challenge myself. to see if I could do it. It's hard to explain and most often I end up shrugging my shoulders and looking like an idiot, but I'm glad I did it. With minimum meltdowns too. 2 to be exact but thats a decent figure methinks.

there are the highs. Oh my god the highs. Its hard to describe but even little things like instant coffee can give you joy when the universe seems against you. there are so many frustrating moments and even more frustrating people to deal with and then something comes along that makes it all easy, like a sweep of a magic wand.I mean I could almost make love to the guy who invented instant coffee. especially Bru cappucino. Hindustan Lever. I soooo love you dudes. Open packet, hot water and voila, cinnamon cappucino. who da thunk? now if only someone came up with instant tea, my life will be complete.

Then there are the tiny victories. the little come uppances that make you feel like a diva with her own entourage of backups. There was this one time where I was faced with boiling water in my bathroom because the bathroom was the only place in the house that had a 15 A plug. I didn't know that it was a 15 A plug that I needed. So I went to an electric store and asked for a "big" plug and they all snickered there. They almost sold me a 300 ruppee extension cable set but you know what, I was sure that there would be a 5 A to 15A plug, and there was! and it costs only 30 bucks!!. Now my electric kettle sings happily in the kitchen.

Did I tell you about my broadband story. This story is soo hugee, it deserves a paragraph to itself. Ok first some background - I had a lousy wireless connection that was painfully slow and I almost never got the signal. I mean I used to walk around the house with the laptop on my head looking for a spot with strong signal. Since obviously thats just too much effort to get on to the internet, I decided to go in for a broadband connection. The only hitch was that the society that I lived in did not allow broadband connection on the premises. I called every broadband vendor and everytime I told my society name, they would all refuse flatly. So I went to reason with the society president, but he just refused to give permission. His reasoning - All the wires would make the premises messy. So did I take it lying down? Did I start to look for another house in another more frendly society? Ofcourse not. What I want, I always get. So I approached the society president, this time armed with the most potent of all weapons : emotional blackmail.

I told the guy my parents lived in australia and that I had to talk to them everyday since I was a girl alone in this bad bad city, I needed the broadband and before I knew it huge sobs were pouring down my face. "As if this life wasn't tough, you want to make it more tough?" I asked in between sobs. Well anyway tears do work cause I got the broadband permission after that! That victory was soo sweet, the "whos your daddy bitches!!" moment, ahh simply priceless. And thanks to me 6 houses in my building also got broadband connection. Airtel so owes me!!

So, inshallah, its been a fun 6 months. I've made friends and proved to myself that I can make friends when I want to. The life that I've built in the last 6 months is expressly my doing and that, is the sweetest of all victories.

Damn those cravings!

2007-07-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

I miss..

> The Cheese bites at Legends of Rock. oh those lovely gooey fatty things that explode with so much cheesy goodness. They are pretty much the only reason I go to LoR. Not the music, not the drinks, not the ambience but just them, Cheese bites. Yes, initially my diet conscious being restrained me from sampling this very un-epicurean delight, but once I had eaten one of these erm bites, dripping over in mayonnaise, all diets were toshed. The sad thing has been that the last time I was in bangalore LoR was out of cheese bites. Never did the 23 year old me most want to throw a 3 year old's tantrum. This time when I come visiting, if they don't have it, I'll bloody blow up the place.

> Chicken wings at millers 46. do you know heaven orders chicken wings from millers 46? Many of my fondest memories have involved talking to friends and contentedly tucking in chicken wings at M46. I miss the place. The wings are glazed in a sweet but peppery sauce and after you'd eaten about 6 of them, steam would be popping out your ears, the tongue would be on fire and the lips would have swollen,bee-stung like. The waiters knew me well. they even knew my house well, cause I'd order so many times. I wish they'd deliver here.

>Biryani at Ebony's. Ebony is my place. yes it is. people may say whatever they want but its so my place. I'm in my element there, with the sight of bangalore to behold, good food, and getting tipsy and giggly with a drink. I have eaten biryani in the best of places at hyderabad, but I still haven't experienced anything like the biryani at Ebony. Every time I see the waiter bring our dum pukht biryani, I start salivating like pavlov's dog. I love the spicy raita that they serve it with. it adds a certain zing to the biryani, so much so that your palate is a state of flutter. ooh just love it.

>Lunch Meal at Krishna Kafe. KK is this authentic tam bram place in koramangala that was a short walk from my previous work place. We used to go there for lunch, especially on Friday's because the heavy lunch is a perfect excuse not to work therafter. The lunch was served on a banana leaf and was a typical south indian affair with rice, applam, sambhar, rasam, 3 different types of curries. Every time I have gorged on steaming rice dripping in sambhar, I know i have a fat pot bellied tam bram priest inside me. The highlight was ofcourse the "unlimitededness" of the entire meal. Unlimited everything - rice, sambhar, curry and offcourse applams. KK brings back fond memories of this road trip my family went on when I was 10 I think, through Tamil Nadu. Every restaurant/Tiffin room had this "Unlimited" largesse concept. For the price of one you could eat for ten people. I haven't seen it emulated anywhere.I sorely miss my Rice-rasam- sambhar here. I'm in roti hell folks!!!

> Set dosa at shanti Sagar. My parents have this wonderful habit of ordering Dosa and idlee from Shanti sagar on sunday mornings. That would be the only day mom wouldn't make breakfast. I was always deputed to go get the breakfast and it would always be 3 set dosa and 10 idless. I loved my set dosa. I miss it.no thats MISS it. Dosa and saagu palya used to be my sunday morning heaven, together with fresh tea and the sunday times. I also used to have a cup of coffee whist at shanti sagar, waiting for my parcel. There is no coffee like south indian coffee. Nothing. I'll contest anyone to a spelling duel if they think otherwise

> Cornerhouse!!!. I don't have to be descriptive here do I? I miss the banana split, the cake fudge, the ice cream overdose, the whole of your ice cream immersed in nuts. you know they don't do that anywhere. It's a special place people. Please preserve it.

>Bangalore!!!. words can't say how much... sigh

Spiritus Mundi

The one about the destination and (thankfully) not the journey

Stuff!

The Book Gobbler's Delish List

Streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent

do they speak english in what?

What I Learned in B-school

experimenting.. .

Its alright, alright...just dance, gonna be ok...

of Pride, Craziness and Sheila's Youth

*insert smiley here*

A foody ode to Durham

Ok, Now What?

End of Dog Days

mark as unread

Good things

War without the guns

Writing Project

The Final Countdown

When the sun un-hides

A Beautiful Day

My Precocious, Precious 6 Year Old

The Defense of Liberal Arts

Do you tell lies? And say that it's forever?

Digits

> 1000 words

Time to turn back and descend the stair

There's no sunshine when its gone

Dispatches from Cairo

raison d'etre

Proximity

In the cradle of civilization

Where Karma Fights Back

True Love

Stuff that should be on my resume but is not..

Sadly,

a balanced month

Term 1: Hits & Misses

Jazz > Finals

What is love?

Status Update

I'm a PC

Campout Crazy!

Monsoon dreaming

Dinner was nice

responder a la questions

Sun kissed skin so hot will melt your popsicle...

American Revelations

1 year in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave

Crazie for life

'nuf said

March Madness

Resuming Regular Programming....

vingt six

Crazy, si si

Legal Alien

Guilty!

Do saal baad

A letter to my Hero

what? its 2009 already??

What Next?

Epiphany can be a salman khan song..sometimes..

Oh btw, If it isn't clear already, I *HATE* Facebook

Do not disturb - furiously tucking into sambhar rice here

Mere Pass...ISRO ke scientists hain!

Silly!

Ze Burday Update

waiting for that macrame bird of prey to come down and sing la-ling la-ling la-ling...

Full Award-Shavard Only

Pop goes my heart

New shoes, Mumbai and other things that make life exciting

STILL not a good time to be me but I try

Soooo not the right time to be ME

Where I wonder why I'm not punjabee

To summarize, I need a stiff drink

Let this be a lesson

I Got Panda!

Oh Bangalore! or Alternately - Why folks from RVCE will love this post

Look Out World, She's got a book and she's not afraid to throw it

Comment Allez Vous?

insert smiley here

Oh btw, If it isn't clear already, I HATE Facebook